Chapter 269

Dante

I was in my office with a list in front of me of pros and cons. I didn’t know what to do, did I love Emilia? Yes, with all my heart. Was I willing to give everything up for her and my potential child? I didn’t know and that scared the shit out of me. I didn’t want to go into this relationship being scared or doubting myself then I’ll doubt everything and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want that for Emilia or our children. In fact, I actually wanted to know whose child Emilia was carrying but we promised each other we wouldn’t care about that. There is a lot of things I said I didn’t care about but I do. I do care that I have to give up most of D.A.G.G. and I was shit scared that I will blame her down the line. I didn’t want a marriage like my mom and dad had, all they did was fight, I think that was the main reason I never wanted to get married or wanted her name attached to mine. But then when I think about everything, we have put in place my house that was being demolished the plot we bought next to mine, the ring, the papers at the attorney’s. There were so many things that was put in motion. I don’t even know if the twins will have me back and part of there business anymore. I know I don’t want to share girls with them anymore that part I’m very clear about. But why can’t I be sure of Emilia, why can’t I be sure of our marriage and children and the house and everything else that goes with marriage. I’m just so confused and I don’t think it is fair towards Emilia or Antonio for that matter if I insert myself if I’m not a 10000% sure.

I mean I was excited about the house and the plot I mean I made the offer I paid the plot, but now I’m doubting myself. I was excited about the ring I had that idea in my head since we decided that we wanted to marry Emilia but now I’m not sure anymore. I want so desperately to call the twins and ask them their advice. Why would I want to do that if I already know what it’s going to be. Why do I need their approval? Why do I want to beg them to take me back? Why am I more worried about the twins than I’m about Emilia, the baby, the house, the ring, the engagement? Why? Why? Why? Why don’t I want to give up things for her like Antonio wants to? Why am I not where he is?

I went to bed still wondering what the fuck I’m going to do, I had all these why’s in my head and no answers at 1 am I was done with the tossing and turning around in bed I wanted to talk to the twins. Will they be upset when I walk into their house at 1 am probable but I need to talk to them. I got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and walked towards the twin’s house. There was still a light on so I hoped at least one of them was still awake. I knock on the door. “Who the fuck can this be at this hour?” He heard Gio said out load. When he opened the door, he was surprised it was me “Dante? What the fuck are you doing here this time of the night?” “I need advice.” “I’m sure you can ask Antonio for that.” George said from Gio’s office door entrance. “It’s about him and Emilia I need advice.” “Fuck off Dante, you threw us out of Antonio’s house and now you running back to us. Go home and lay in the bed you’ve made for yourself.” George said. Gio looked at me and could see I was torn. “George stop being such a dick. Come in Dante.” Gio said. George wasn’t happy he walked to his own office. Gio took me to his office as we walked in, he walked to his bar and pour us each a glass of scotch. When he gave it to me, he said “Talk to me.” “I need real advice Gio not something because you are pissed of at me, Antonio and Emilia.” “I’m listening, aren’t I? More than what my brother is doing.” “That is true.” “Well then spill it, it must be huge if you are up this time of night and at our door.” “Well, it’s about this whole Emilia thing.” “I’ve figured.” “What is it?” “I was excited about the baby I still am, but I’m not sure I want to marry her or be a full-time dad, or give up my business with you guys and loose out on all the money we have made, and then there is my house it was my idea to buy the plot next to my house and demolished my place but now I’m not sure anymore. What is bothering me is the fact that I was so sure and now that it comes down to everything, I’m being reluctant and don’t think we will be able to be a happy family for the rest of our lives.” “Okay take a breath there Dante. Do you love her?” “Yes, I do.” “If she dies tomorrow, will you be able to go on with your life without her?” I had to think a second or two about that question. “Yes, I will.” “Well then Dante, you don’t really love her, you love the idea of her, the idea of the 3 or 4 of you, you love the sex but you don’t really love her.” “How can you say that?” “Because Dante when you really really love someone you won’t be able to live without them not ever. That is how I know Antonio really loves her he will give up everything for her in a heart beat but we all could see you are not there yet and I’m not sure you will ever get there. Yes, you are a guy that gets swept up in new projects easily and I’m calling Emilia a project because she was in the beginning but after a while you fade out and you loose interest in that project. With Emilia it was just different there was one project after another, the rape, getting Johnny, getting so involved in her getting followed, then you decided you loved her and wanted to marry her then you kept on sleeping over at Antonio to be near Emilia and now the baby there was one thing after another with her and she kept on being your project and now you are done with the project.”

“But I don’t want another woman I don’t want to share women with you guys anymore doesn’t that mean something?” “It only means you are looking for the person you would want to give up everything for Dante that’s all it means.” “But what if the child is mine?” “I thought you guys didn’t wanted to know if the baby was yours or Antonio’s?” “We didn’t but don’t I have a right to know if the baby is mine if I don’t marry her?” “Yes, you do but, you are already leaving Emilia and Antonio do you really want to put Emilia through that to or Antonio for that fact and what if the child is yours do you really want to have a baby with other women when you find your one? The baby will bind you to Emilia for the rest of your life you will never really be able to move on.” Gio was actually making a lot of sense tonight I really though he will be like George and just say fuck of and not give me advise but he listened and he gave me solid advice things I needed to hear. “And how will you and George feel if I don’t quit on D.A.G.G?” “I’ll be fine with it I’ll just have to work on George but you go home and think about what I said before you make another discussion you are going to regret.” “Thank you Gio.” “Just a pleasure Dante.”