Chapter 89 Anya
Ivanov closed the door behind us.
I stood in the middle of his chambers. My wedding dress felt like chains around my body.
"Finally," he said, smiling. "Alone with my wife."
I did not respond. I could not. If I opened my mouth, I would break and I can't let him see me cry.
He walked closer. "You were perfect tonight. You smiled when I told you to. You played your part beautifully."
"What do you want from me?" I finally opened my mouth, but my voice was barely a whisper.
"What I have always wanted. You. Completely and totally mine." He reached out and touched my face. "No more games. No more pretending. You are my wife now. You belong to me."
I jerked away from his touch. "I will never belong to you."
He laughed. "You already do. Legally. In the eyes of everyone who matters. You are mine."
"Then why do you need to keep reminding me? If I am truly yours, why do you seem so desperate to prove it?"
His smile faded. "Careful, Anya. You are my wife but I can still hurt you."
"You have already hurt me in every way possible."
"Not every way." He grabbed my wrist. "But I could. If you push me."
I looked him in the eyes. "Then do it. Kill me. Because that is the only way you will ever truly have me."
For a moment something flickered in his face. Anger maybe. Or respect. Then he released my wrist. "I do not want to hurt you. I want you to accept this. Accept us."
"There is no us. There is only you and your obsession."
He turned away. "You still love him. Even after everything. You still love Markov."
I did not deny it. There was no point.
"He is nothing," Ivanov said. "He has nothing. He is nothing. And yet you still choose him over me."
"Because he is a good man. And you are a monster."
Ivanov spun around. "A monster? I gave you everything. Protection. Status. Power. What did he give you? Pain. Betrayal. Loss."
"He gave me love. Real love. Not this twisted version you think is love."
"Love?" Ivanov laughed bitterly. "Love does not exist. There is only power. And I have all of it."
"Then why are you so afraid?"
"I am not afraid."
"Yes you are. You are afraid that no matter what you do, no matter how much you control me, I will never truly be yours. And that terrifies you."
He stared at me. His jaw clenched.
Then he walked to the door. "Get some rest. We have a long life together ahead of us."
"Where are you going?"
"Out. I need a drink." He opened the door. "And do not try to leave. Guards are posted outside. If you try anything, they will stop you. And then I will punish Markov for it."
He left. The door closed behind him.
I heard the lock click.
I was trapped. Alone in his chambers as his wife and prisoner.
I walked to the window and looked out at the grounds below.
The guests were leaving. The celebration was over.
My wedding night was supposed to be joyous. It was supposed to be the beginning of something beautiful.
Instead it was a nightmare.
I pressed my forehead against the cold glass and closed my eyes.
Nikolai was somewhere out there. Still suffering. Still trapped just like me.
We had tried to escape. We had tried to fight back.
But Ivanov was always one step ahead.
The door opened again. I turned expecting to see Ivanov.
But it was a maid. An older woman I had seen before.
"Miss Koslov. I mean, Mrs. Ivanov." She corrected herself. "I brought you some tea. Mr. Ivanov thought you might need it."
"Thank you," I said quietly.
She set the tray on the table. Then she looked at me.
"Are you alright?" she asked softly.
I wanted to say no. I wanted to scream that I was not alright. That I was dying inside.
But I just nodded. "I am fine."
She did not believe me. I could see it in her eyes.
"If you need anything," she said carefully, "anything at all, you can ask me. I have worked here for many years. I know things. I see things."
"What are you saying?"
She glanced at the door. Then leaned closer. "I am saying that if you need help, I might be able to provide it. But you must be very careful. Mr. Ivanov has eyes everywhere."
Hope sparked in my chest. "Why would you help me?"
"Because I have seen what he does to people. And I have seen enough." She straightened. "Drink your tea. It will help you sleep."
She left before I could ask more questions.
I looked at the tea. Steam rose from the cup.
Maybe she had poisoned it. Maybe this was another one of Ivanov's games.
But I did not care anymore. If it was poison, at least I would be free.
I drank the tea. It was bitter but warm.
Then I changed out of my wedding dress and into a nightgown. I crawled into bed and waited.
Waited for sleep. Waited for death. Waited for anything other than this endless suffering.
My eyes grew heavy. The tea was working.
Before I drifted off, I thought of Nikolai. I hoped he was safe. I hoped he would just run far away and not do anything stupid.
But deep down I knew he would. Because that was who he was. He would try to save me. Even if it killed him.
And I could not let that happen.
I had to find a way to stop him. To protect him. Even if it meant staying with Ivanov forever. Even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.
Because I loved Nikolai. And I would do anything to keep him alive.
Anything at all.
It was my fault that all this started. I should have listened to him and waited for him to save Dmitri on his terms. But I was too hasty. I had walked into ivanov's prison on my own.
Now, we are both paying the price.
My eyes closed. Sleep finally took me.
But even in my dreams, I was not free.
Even there, Ivanov was waiting.