Chapter 82 Nikolai
I could not sleep that night.
I lay on the hard bed in my tiny servant's room, staring at the ceiling,
counting the cracks in the plaster.
Anything to stop thinking. But it did not work.
My mind kept replaying the scene in Ivanov's study.
Anya on his lap. She was barely dressed. His hands were all over her. The way he kissed her neck.
"She is quite talented. Better than I expected." The words echoed in my head, over and over.
He had made her his mistress. And now he was parading her around like a trophy.
And she allowed him. She didn't resist.
Maybe she had finally accepted her new life.
I rolled over and faced the wall, trying to push the thoughts away.
But they would not leave.
I had lost everything. My empire. My money. My freedom. My dignity.
And now, I had lost Anya too.
Not that she was ever really mine. Not after she believed I killed Dmitri.
But still, seeing her with him, knowing what they had done, what they were still doing was torture. It was worse than any beating.
It was soul-crushing.
A tear slipped down my cheek. I wiped it away angrily.
I had no right to cry. No right to feel sorry for myself.
This was my punishment for failing Dmitri and Maria.
And I would endure it. Because I had to.
Morning came too soon.
A guard banged on my door. "Get up! You have new assignments today!"
I dragged myself out of bed,put on my filthy uniform and wrapped my bleeding hands.
The guard was waiting outside.
"Follow me."
He led me through the mansion.
We stopped outside a door.
"Mr. Ivanov has requested that you clean Miss Koslov's room from now on every morning. Make the bed. Clean the bathroom. Dust, vacuum. Everything."
My heart sank.
"No," I said. "Please. Assign me somewhere else."
"This is not a request. It is an order."
"I cannot. Please." My voice broke.
The guard grabbed my collar. "You will do as you are told. Or someone you love will pay the price. Do you understand?"
I closed my eyes. "Yes."
"Good. Get started."
He unlocked the door and pushed me inside.
I stood there, frozen.
The room smelled like her. Lavender and vanilla. The scent I used to love.
Now it made me sick. Because it was mixed with something else. Ivanov's cologne.
They had been here together. In this bed. Doing things I did not want to imagine.
I forced myself to start working.
I made the bed and changed the sheets, trying not to think about what had happened on them.
I cleaned the bathroom.
Every surface I touched felt contaminated. But I kept working. Because I had to.
I was dusting the nightstand when I saw aphotograph in a silver frame. It was Anya and Dmitri from years ago. They looked young and happy.
I picked up the photo and stared at Dmitri's face.
"I am sorry," I whispered. "I am so sorry I could not save you. I tried. I swear I tried."
The door opened behind me.
I turned.
Anya stood there, wearing a silk robe. Her hair was messy like she had just woken up.
We stared at each other. Neither of us moved.
"What are you doing here?" She asked finally. Her voice was cold.
"I was assigned to clean your room."
"By who?"
"Ivanov."
She looked away. "Of course he did."
Silence filled the space between us.
"I will finish quickly," I said. "Then I will leave."
"Wait." She walked closer. "I need to talk to you."
"There is nothing to talk about."
"Yes, there is. About Maria."
I froze. "What about her?"
"She is dead. They are saying it was suicide. But it was not, was it?"
"No. It was not."
"Ivanov killed her."
"Yes."
"Just like he killed Dmitri."
I looked at her, shocked.
Was she saying what I thought she was saying?
"You believe me now?" I asked. "You think I am innocent?"
She hesitated. Then nodded. "Yes. I think you are innocent. I think Ivanov framed you. And I was stupid enough to believe him."
Relief flooded through me. Then anger. Thenpain.
"You believed him," I said. My voice was rising. "You believed I could murder your brother. The boy I promised to save. You looked me in the eyes and called me a killer."
She flinched. "I know. And I am sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry does not fix anything! Sorry does not erase the fact that you chose him over me!"
"I was grieving! I was confused!"
"And I was innocent! I was begging you to believe me! But you did not! You turned your back on me!"
Tears streamed down her face. "I know! I know I was wrong! But I am trying to make it right now!"
"How? By becoming his mistress? By sleeping with the man who killed your brother?"
She flinched like I had slapped her. "I am doing what I have to do."
"Which is what? Enjoying your new life? Your expensive dresses? Your comfortable bed?"
"I am trying to get evidence! I am trying to prove Ivanov killed Dmitri!"
I laughed bitterly. "And how are you planning to do that? By seducing him? By making him trust you?"
"Yes! Exactly!"
"You have lost your mind." I said angrily.
"Maybe I have! But what other choice do I have? You are trapped here! Mikhail is gone! I am the only one who can get close enough to Ivanov to find proof!"
"And what happens when you find this proof? If you even find it? Do you think Ivanov will just let you expose him? He will kill you! Just like he killed Maria! Just like he killed Dmitri!"
"At least I will die trying to fix my mistake!"
"Your mistake? Your mistake was believing I was a monster! Your mistake was choosing him over me!"
"I did not choose him! I chose my brother! And you failed to save him!"
The words hung in the air.
We stared at each other. Both breathing hard. Tears streamed down our faces.
"You are right," I said finally. My voice was quiet now. "I failed Dmitri. I failed you. I failed everyone."
"Nikolai..."
"Just leave me alone, Anya. Let me finish my work. Then we can both go back to pretending the other does not exist."
"I do not want to pretend."
"Well, I do. Because looking at you hurts. Knowing you are with him hurts. Everything about this hurts. And I am tired of hurting."
She opened her mouth to say something. But a knock on the door stopped her.
"Miss Koslov?" A guard's voice came through. "Mr. Ivanov is asking for you."
Anya wiped her tears. "I will be right there."
She looked at me one more time. "This is not over, Nikolai. I will find proof. I will clear your name. I will fix this."
"Do not bother. It is already too late."
She left. The door closed behind her.
And I stood there, broken. I looked down at the photograph still in my hands.
"I am sorry," I whispered again. "I am sorry for everything."
I set the photo down and finished cleaning the room. Then I left.
As I walked back to the servants' quarters, I passed by Ivanov's study.
The door was open. I could hear voices inside.
"You wanted to see me?" Anya's voice said.
"Yes, my dear. Come in. Close the door."
I should have kept walking. But I stopped and listened.
"I have good news," Ivanov said. "I have decided to make our arrangement permanent."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I want to make you my wife. The ceremony will be in two weeks."
There was a brief silence.
"Two weeks?" Anya said, her voice shook.
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No. No, of course not. I am just... surprised."
"Surprised? I thought you would be happy. You said you wanted to be a good mistress. A good wife."
"I did. I do. I just... I need time to prepare."
"You have two weeks. That is plenty of time."
Anya didn't say anything.
"Now," Ivanov said. "Come here. Let me show you how happy this news makes me."
I heard movement and sounds I did not want to hear.
I walked away, quickly. Before I did something stupid.
In two weeks, Anya would become Ivanov's wife.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.