Chapter 36 Nikolai
"You cannot stay here," Anya said. Her voice was panicked. "If someone finds you..."
"I do not care." I locked the door behind me. "I am staying."
"Nikolai, please be reasonable. Katya is right beside your room. If she wakes up and finds you gone..."
"Then let her." I walked to her small bed and sat down on it. The mattress was thin and very uncomfortable. I could feel the wood on my butt. "This is where you have been sleeping?"
"It is fine." She said flatly. She was upset.
"It is not fine." I looked up at her. "Nothing about this is fine."
She stood there, wringing her hands, looking torn between throwing me out and pulling me close.
"Come here," I said softly.
"Nikolai..."
"Please, Anya. Just come here."
She hesitated at first. Then she slowly walked to the bed and at down beside me. But kept a meaningful distance.
"Come closer," I whispered, my eyes fixed on her.
She moved a little closer, till not touching me.
I reached out and pulled her onto my lap. She gasped but did not resist.
"I missed you," I said into her hair. "Every second without you has been torture."
"You should not have come here." Sje whispered.
"I had to. I cannot sleep. I cannot think. I cannot breathe without you, Anya." I said, sincerely.
"That is dangerous, Nikolai. You cannot need me this much." Her voice cracked.
"But I do." I tilted her face up, mall he her to look at me. "I need you more than I need air."
Tears filled her eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?"
My heart melted. "Doing what?"
"You're making me have hope. You're making me believe when we both know how this ends."
My eyes narrowed. "And do you thinking it ends?"
"It's going to end with you marrying to Katya. While I will just be nothing but a memory."
"No." I kissed her lips softly. "That is not how this will end."
"Then how?" She pouted.
I did not answer. I could not answer, because I did not know. I had no plan. No solution.
All I knew was that I needed her now. Tonight. Right here in her bed.
I kissed her again, deeper this time.
And she kissed me back. Her hands came up to my face, holding me like I might disappear.
"Nikolai," she whispered against my lips.
"I know." I stood up, lifted her with me and laid her down on the small bed.
"We should not..." She gasped.
"I know." I climbed on top of her. "But I need you. Please, Anya. Let me have you. Just tonight."
She looked up at me. Her eyes were dark with desire. She wanted this too.
"Yes," she breathed.
That was all I needed to hear. I kissed her, touched her and worshipped every inch of her body.
She moaned softly, arching into my every touch. Her hands explored me, fumbling with my clothes.
"Slowly, girl." I whispered,with a smile. Her hunger was driving me crazy. "We have all night."
"Do we?" Her voice was sad. "Or is this the last time?"
"Do not think about that now. I need you to just feel me."
And she did. She let herself feel.
I removed her clothes slowly and reverently, like I was unwrapping a precious gift.
"You are so beautiful," I murmured against her skin.
"Nikolai..."
"Shh. Let me show you."
I kissed down her body, tasted every curve, every dip, memorized her with my mouth.
She gasped and moaned. Her hands tangled in my hair.
"Please," she whimpered.
"Please what?" I looked up at her. Her eyes were burning with need.
"I need... I need you." She whispered.
"I know, my love. I know."
I positioned myself above her, looking into her eyes.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes. Please, Nikolai. I need to feel you."
I entered her slowly and carefully, watching her face for any sign of pain. But there was only pleasure.
"God, Anya," I groaned. "You feel perfect."
She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me deeper.
"Move," she whispered. "Please move."
I did. I was slow at first. Then I became faster and harder.
Our moans filled the small room. The bed creaked beneath us.
"Nikolai... I..."
"I know. Let it go. I have got you."
She shattered, crying out my name. Her body trembling beneath mine.
I followed her over the edge, burying my face in her neck. I whispered her name like a prayer.
We lay there afterwards, tangled together, breathing hard.
"That was... great." Anya said. "I have never felt this way before." I finished.
"I'm glad I could make you feel good." I whispered, stroking her hair gently.
She turned to look at me. "What happens now?"
"Now we sleep." I said casually.
Her eyes widened. I was too nonchalant about this issue. I was even shocked at myself.
"And then, tomorrow?" She asked again.
"Tomorrow I will figure it out." My eyes were closing.
"But Katya..."
"I do not want to talk about her. Not now. Not when I am holding you."
She nodded and curled into my chest.
I held her close, taking in her scent. I would pretend this was real. I would pretend it will last forever.
I wanted this to be real. I wanted this moment to last forever.
We drifted off together. Everything was perfect and peaceful.
But peace never lasted long in my world.
It was cut short by a loud banging on the door.
"Anya! Open this door right now!" Katya's voice was piercing.
My eyes flew open.
It was still fucking dark!
Anya sat up immediately. Her eyes were wide with panic. "Oh no."
"Anya! I know you are in there! Open up!"
For some reason, my heart started racing. I knew how Katya could be.
I stood up quickly and started getting dressed.
"You need to hide," Anya whispered frantically.
"Where? There is nowhere to hide in here." I tried to keep my voice as low as possible. Because the door was thin. She might hear us.
"The closet. Get in the closet, quickly." She pushed me towards her tiny closet I was way taller than.
"Anya, I am not hiding in a closet."
"Anya!" The banging got louder. "If you do not open this door, I will break it down!"
"Please, Nikolai. If she finds you here, she will tell her father. The alliance will end. Everything will fall apart."
I looked at her desperate face. And I knew she was right.
"Fine." I went to the small closet and squeezed myself inside.
Anya fixed her clothes, and smoothen her hair. Then she opened the door.
Katya stormed in. "What took you so long? What were you doing?"
"Nothing. I was sleeping." She said, trying to keep her voice natural.
"Liar. I have been knocking for more than thirty minutes. You did not answer."
"I was very tired. I must have slept deeply."
I could sense the tension in her voice, but thankfully, Katya didn't.
Katya looked around the room. Her eyes caught the rough bedsheets and Anya's clothes on the floor.
"Were you alone?" She asked.
"Of course." Anya said too quickly.
Katya walked towards the closet.
My heart stopped.
"What is in here? Cause I know you have no clothes." She reached for the handle.
"Nothing. Just cleaning supplies." Anya’s voice raised.
"Then you will not mind if I look."
She opened the door.