Chapter 181 Mixed signals
Chapter 181: Mixed signals
Damon pov
He lay beneath me, purple light dancing across his skin, eyes wide with trust and desire. My mate, My miracle.
“Milo”
"I love you," I said, because he needed to hear it, and because it was true.
He seemed taken aback, like he was jot expecting it, but it was gone. "I love you too," he replied, and there was such emotion in his voice that my throat tightened.
Afterwards, we lay tangled together, both of us trembling from the intensity of what we had shared. I was worried that I was a little too harsh on my mate, but from his contended look on his face said otherwise. I held him close, feeling his heart gradually slow against my chest. The glow had dimmed to a soft luminescence, gentle and comforting.
“I like it Damon, you being just your rough, untamed alpha is the best thing I could ever have…” Milos said, as if he could hear my thoughts …maybe he could.
"Yeah," I murmured, because my brain was finding it hard to process complex thoughts at the moment.
He traced lazy patterns on my chest, his touch feather-light. "I wish we could stay like this forever. Just you and me, in this room, away from everything else."
"We will have moments like this," I promised. "Even after all this is over. We will make time for just us."
"Will we?" His voice was small, uncertain.
I frowned slightly at the change in the air.
"Of course." I kissed the top of his head. "Why wouldn't we?"
He didn't answer, just pressed closer to me, as if trying to burrow into my skin. I held him tighter, sensing his need for reassurance even if I didn't understand where it came from.
"Milo," I said gently. "What's really wrong? And don't say nothing. I can feel your turmoil through the bond."
For a long moment, he was silent. Then, so quietly I almost didn't hear it: "What if I'm not who you think I am?"
"What do you mean?"
"What if..." He took a shaky breath. "What if there are things about me you don't know? Things that might change how you feel?"
I turned him to face me, cupping his face in my hands. "There is nothing that could change how I feel about you, little wolf Nothing."
"You don't know that," he whispered, and there were tears in his eyes now. "You don't know what I might do, what I might become."
"Then tell me," I urged. "Whatever it is, we'll face it together, remember.
I held his gaze,but he just shook his head, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. "I can't. Not yet. Maybe not ever."
"Milo…"
"Please," he interrupted, his voice breaking. "Just hold me. Please just hold me and pretend everything is okay, just for tonight."
So I did, even though worry gnawed at my gut. I held him while he cried silently against my chest, his tears mixing with the purple glow that wouldn't fade. I held him while his body shook with suppressed sobs, while his fingers clutched at me like I was the only solid thing in his world.
And as I held him, as the purple light pulsed in time with his heartbeat, I looked down at his face.
For just a flash… barely a fraction of a second… his expression changed. The vulnerability vanished, replaced by something cold and calculating. His eyes, still glowing purple, held a look I had never seen before. Determination. Resolution. And beneath it all, something that looked almost like... regret.
Then it was gone, so fast I could have imagined it. Milo was just Milo again, fragile and scared and clinging to me like I was his lifeline.
But the image had seared itself into my brain. That look. That cold, determined look.
The look of someone preparing to do something unforgivable.
My arms tightened around him involuntarily, my wolf suddenly alert and anxious. What had I just seen? Was it real, or just a trick of the light and my exhausted mind?
"Damon?" Milo's voice was muffled against my chest. "You're holding too tight."
"Sorry," I loosened my grip slightly, but I couldn't quite make myself let go completely.
He tilted his head up to look at me, and his eyes were normal again… vulnerable, loving, utterly devoted. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I lied, because what else could I say? I just saw something in your expression that terrified me? "Just thinking about everything we need to do tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," he echoed, and something flickered across his face again. But this time it was definitely plain exhaustion. "Can we not think about tomorrow yet? Can we just have tonight?"
"Of course." I kissed his forehead, pushing my concerns aside. "Tonight is ours. The rest of the world can wait until morning."
He smiled, soft and grateful, and snuggled back against my chest. Within minutes, his breathing had evened out into sleep. But I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, my mind racing.
That look. That calculating, cold look.
My wolf whined anxiously, sensing my distress but unable to articulate what bothered us. The bond hummed steadily between us, showing me Milo's contentment, his love, his trust in me.
But bonds could be manipulated. I'd seen it done before, by powerful enough magic users. And Milo was glowing with unprecedented power, touched by the moon goddess herself.
What if there are things about me you don't know? he'd said. Things that might change how you feel?
What had he meant? What secrets was he keeping? And why did that flash of calculation in his eyes make my blood run cold?
I held him closer, breathing in his scent, trying to convince myself I'd imagined it. This was Milo. My mate. The omega who'd saved me from the curse, who'd stood by me through everything. The man I loved more than life itself.
But a small, treacherous voice in the back of my mind whispered: What if love isn't enough? What if he's already made a choice you don't know about?
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the thoughts away. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges. Tonight, I would just hold my mate and pretend that everything was as perfect as it seemed at that moment.
Even if deep down, I was terrified it wasn't.