Chapter 38 The Night Before

Chapter 38 The Night Before
Luna's POV

I couldn't sleep.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw tomorrow playing out in a hundred different ways, none of them good.

Meeting Vivienne felt like walking into a trap I could see but couldn't avoid.

At two AM I gave up and went to the kitchen for water.

Damien was already there, standing by the windows with a glass in his hand, staring out at the city lights like they held answers he needed.

He glanced over when I walked in but didn't say anything.

I got my water and stood on the other side of the kitchen island, both of us quiet in the dark.
The silence used to make me uncomfortable but now it just felt normal, like we didn't need to fill every moment with words.

"Tell me about Marcus," Damien said eventually. "About the beginning, before it went wrong."

The question surprised me. "Why?"

"Because I want to understand how someone convinces you to give up everything." He turned to face me. "You were your father's Beta. Second in command. People don't walk away from that kind of power without a reason."

I took a drink of water, buying time to organize thoughts I usually kept buried.
"I met Marcus when I was twenty-three," I said finally. "At a pack alliance meeting. He was thirty and already Alpha of his own territory. Strong, confident, sure of himself in ways I wasn't yet."

"And he chose you."

"Yeah. Out of all the wolves there, he chose me." The memory still had an ache to it. "I felt special. Like fate had handed me something precious."

"The mate bond."

"I thought it was the mate bond. Now I'm not sure if I convinced myself I felt it or if he convinced me." I set down my glass. "Either way, I believed it. Believed we were meant to be together and that meant everything would be perfect."

Damien waited for me to continue.

"He asked me to give up my Beta rank and move to his territory. Said his pack needed a Luna who could focus full time on pack duties, not someone splitting their attention." I laughed without humor. "I thought it was romantic. That he needed me so much he couldn't stand being apart."

"So you gave it up."

"I gave up everything. My rank, my father's pack, my training, my independence. All of it." My hands tightened around the glass. "And at first it felt right. Like I was finally where I belonged."

"What changed?"

"Nothing dramatic. Just small things that added up over time." I stared at my reflection in the dark window. "Marcus would make comments about my clothes being too casual for a Luna. About my wolf being weak from not training. About me spending too much time with Theo instead of pack business."

"Criticism."

"Constant criticism. And I believed him because he was my mate and mates are supposed to make each other better, right?" I swallowed hard. "His disappointment became how I measured myself. His approval became the only thing that mattered. I spent five years trying to be perfect enough to deserve the bond I thought fate had given us."

"But you were never perfect enough."

"No. Because the game was rigged from the start." I looked at Damien. "You can't win against someone who keeps moving the target."

He was quiet for a long moment, his face unreadable in the dim light.

"Finding you terrified me," he said finally.
I blinked, surprised by the confession. "What?"
"Two hundred years of waiting and then suddenly there you were. This woman who was everything I'd hoped for." His hands tightened on his glass. "And all I could think about was how many ways I could lose you."

"So you watched me."

"I watched you because control felt safer than trust." He met my eyes. "I told myself it was protection. That I was keeping you safe from threats you didn't know about. But the truth is I was studying you, learning everything about you so I could prevent every possible way of losing you."

The honesty was disturbing and appreciated at the same time.

"That's not healthy," I said.

"I know. But after two hundred years alone, connection feels like a threat." He moved closer to the island. "You understand that. You've been rebuilding yourself for six years with walls so high no one can get through."
He was right and I hated it.

We were both people who'd been alone so long that letting someone in felt dangerous, like handing them weapons they could use to destroy us.

"I don't know how to do this," I admitted quietly. "How to be with someone without losing myself again."

"Neither do I." His voice was soft. "But maybe we figure it out together."

"Or we destroy each other trying."
"That's possible too."

We stood there in the dark kitchen with too much honesty between us and no clear way forward.

Damien reached across the counter, his hand stopping just short of touching mine, close enough to feel the heat but not making contact.
"Whatever happens tomorrow with Vivienne, I won't let her hurt you," he said. "I promise."
I looked at his hand almost touching mine, at this man who'd waited centurie
s and still didn't know how to be vulnerable without trying to control everything.