Chapter 204 Completely numb

Chapter 204 Completely numb
Kai’s POV

I stand alone in the suffocating darkness of my room, staring at the empty courtyard by my window. 

I feel completely numb.

It has been six agonizing months since Lyra passed away.

Six months since a massive, gaping hole was violently ripped open in the center of my chest. The radiant light of my entire existence was extinguished in a single breath, leaving my world in an absolute, permanent darkness.

Death came too fast, snatching my flower violently out of my arms before we even had the chance to build long, sweet memories together.

The unfairness of it all has transformed me into the hollow, lifeless King standing here. I have become a miserable ghost in my own palace, systematically avoiding the outside world and refusing the crown's duties. I was supposed to rule this kingdom with Lyra sitting proudly by my side as my Queen. But she was stolen from me. She was taken at such a young fucking age. 

Even though every single fiber of my being begs for death so I can finally join her in the moon, the last words she ever spoke to me remain permanently burned into my mind, keeping me tethered to this miserable life.

Flash back. Six months ago.

I sat on the edge of the white hospital bed, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces as I watched Lyra receive a barrage of drips and injections through the tubes hooked to her arm.

She looked devastatingly frail and thin. Her once soft and smooth skin had turned into a pale, translucent gray, and her frame was practically disappearin. The toxic rot had completely taken over her organs, leaving her unable to keep any food down, vomiting violently almost every single hour of the day.

Everyone was gathered silently around the room. Amara and Isolde were desperately holding each other’s hands, trying their best to hold back their sobs, while Damon and Jackson stood near the door, completely quiet, their faces twisted in grief.

And me? I was going mad with frustration. I had done everything humanly possible. I had summoned the healers from every corner of the world, brought in dark witches, wizards, and mages, threatening every single one of them with execution if they failed to save her life. But not a single one could burn the demonic poison out of her soul.

With every single day that dragged by, she was fading right before my eyes. The royal doctor had eventually suggested putting her into a magical cryogenic freeze, explaining that freezing her body was the only possible way to delay the sickness, even though she would still inevitably pass away once she was unfrozen.

But Lyra had firmly refused the procedure. She had looked at me with those cloudy blue eyes and stated that she had no desire to spend her remaining moments frozen in a cold glass box, away from the people she loved. I had no choice but to honor her wishes and let her stay in our bed. But looking at her right now, reduced to a hollow shell of her former self, the sight was completely destroying me.

After the nurse finished administering her heavy round of drugs and painkillers, Lyra turned to me. "Kai... help me sit up, please."

I immediately leaned forward and pulled her weakened body gently against my chest to prop her up against the pillows.

The slight movement triggered a violent fit of dry coughing. She coughed until blood filled her lips. My heart stopped beating as I frantically reached for a tissue before softly wiping the blood from her mouth. “I’m sorry baby.” I murmured, kissing her head.

Lyra lifted her heavy gaze to her friends who were sobbing out loud now. Amara, Isolde, and Kara looked away. Lyra let out a long, exhausted sigh, shaking her head as if she was genuinely annoyed by their tears.

"Stop fucking crying like helpless babies, all of you," Lyra murmured, her raspy voice laced with a playful edge. "Including you, Princess Kara."

Kara let out a choked sob, wiping her wet face with the back of her hand as she stepped closer to the bed. "I'm so sorry, Lyra. I'm supposed to be strong for everyone else... we just really, truly love you so much."

A tender smile touched Lyra's bloody lips. "I love you guys so much too."

She reached out her thin arms, and her friends bent down, wrapping her in a gentle group hug, tears dropping onto the white sheets. After a long moment, Lyra pulled back and looked at them with a tired nod. 

"Can you guys please give me a few minutes of space to speak with Kai alone?"

"Of course, Lyra," Damon answered quietly. He guided the tearful girls out of the room, closing the door firmly behind them and leaving us in complete silence.

I held her tightly against my body, my face buried in the crown of her hair, listening to the weak, irregular beating of her heart.

Lyra tilted her chin up, her blue eyes searching mine deeply. "How do you feel, Kai?"

"Angry," I admitted in a broken voice as a tear finally spilled over my lashes and tracked down my cheek. "I'm so fucking angry, flower. I can't let you go. I can't do this."

Lyra stared at me sadly for a moment before taking my hand in hers. "I am so sorry that I couldn't give us as much time as we wished for, Kai. But thank you for everything you ever did for me. Thank you for loving me."

"Don't thank me," I choked out, squeezing my eyes shut in pure agony. "It's my fault. If I had been stronger or if I hadn’t forced you into my—"

Lyra cut me off quickly, her thumb brushing over my stubble. "Don't you ever say that," she said. "Without you, Kai, I would still be rotting away as a miserable slave in Valeria. You gave me my life. You gave me love." 

She suddenly gasped as a violent wave of pain shot through her body.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to her knuckles, gently kissing every single bone in her hand, desperately wishing with everything in me that I could pull all her agony into my own body and suffer in her place.

Lyra steadied her breath as she looked up into my bloodshot eyes. "Can you do something for me, Kai?"

"Anything," I answered without a second of hesitation. "Whatever you want in this world, it's yours."

"Please make Krypton Academy a permanent sanctuary," Lyra whispered with a strong, steady conviction. "Make it an academy for the wolfless, the omegas, and every other species…werefoxes, werebears, whatever divine creature that wants to learn and grow safely without fear of being hunted."

She took a long, shaky breath, holding my gaze. "Also... please help Nick find the rest of his kind. I know deep in my heart that there are other fox survivors out there in the territories."

"Your wish is my command, flower," I promised, my voice raspy with grief. "I will make sure it happens."

She smiled softly, leaning up to press a soft kiss to my lips. 

"One more thing, Kai…” I wait for her to speak. She looks up at me silently for a moment.

“After I'm gone... please don't be sad."

I immediately shook my head, my jaw tightening as a wave of denial hit me. I knew in my soul that I could never grant that wish. “No.”

"Hey," Lyra murmured gently, her small hands coming up to hold both sides of my face, forcing me to stop looking away. "Hey... look at me, Kai."

I finally forced my eyes to open, staring into her flushed, tear-stained face. Looking at the tears shining in her eyes made it almost impossible for me to draw air into my lungs.

"We both know that we have very little time left together," she said quietly.

"No," I whimpered, shaking my head violently as fresh tears streamed down my face, uncontrollable. "No, we don't. You're not going anywhere, Lyra. You're staying right here with me!"

She gently wiped the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs. her expression is filled with peaceful acceptance. "Please, Kai. I want you to be happy. I want you to move on with your life. Get a chosen mate when you're ready, and rule this kingdom with love and pride. Promise me, Kai."

"I'm not doing that—"

Promise me, Kai!" she insisted, coughing harshly.

I stared into her eyes, feeling my heart shatter into pieces. "I promise,"

End of flashback. 

I lied.

Deep down in my soul, I knew the promise was an absolute lie. There would never be another woman. There would never be another Queen for me. There would never, ever be another Lyra Diamond.

And in just three days after that last conversation, Lyra quietly passed away in her sleep while wrapped safely in my arms. 

The second she took her last breath, I cried like a baby. I cried until I could cry no more. I cried until I passed out with her still in my arms.

For two weeks after she died, I completely lost my mind.

I refused to let them take her body away for burial, deluding myself that she might wake up soon.

But when her skin got colder and colder, the devastating reality set in, and after so much hesitation, I finally allowed them to be buried in a tomb dedicated to just her. 

My fated mate is gone forever.