Chapter 38: Ferrin

I didn’t sleep much longer after Willa left. The unease and anxiety that had been growing through the night had quickly seeped back into my bones. They had lessened for those few short hours I was able to hold her. But when she left, it was like a premonition of what would happen if I screwed everything up — if I made the wrong decision.

We had gone through every single detail in Billy’s file that night. Scouring over every piece of information. We had relied heavily on Dante’s expertise, hoping he could shed better light on what we were looking over. With each passing hour, his thoughts were following the same path as Willa’s father’s. And with each passing hour, my mood soured even more. By two in the morning, Dante was so suspicious of what was going on that Damen insisted I fill him in on everything.

I had reluctantly complied at the time, but Dante said this information did fill in a lot of gaps in the information. He went over everything again once he knew more of what we were looking for. By five thirty in the morning, they were all demanding I go to bed. Dante said he would fully gather all of what he had found as well, and we could go over that once we got some sleep.

I couldn’t imagine sleeping with this hanging over my head, but I agreed and returned to my quarters. Willa hadn’t exactly been happy with me when I left the evening before, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t want to be around me just yet. Especially since I still couldn’t tell her what was going on. So, I resisted the urge to go to her room.

But then I found her in my bed — in our bed. I felt some of the weight lift from me, and I wasted no time climbing in and pulling her into my arms.

It wasn’t nearly long enough. Not by a long shot. But I took what I could get. It was only a few hours later when Damen mind-linked me to meet back in his rooms. We had set up our investigation there last night because we didn’t want anyone walking in on us in my office, and we couldn’t do it in my apartment for obvious reasons.

I joined Damen, Austin, and Dante in Damen’s living room again. Arlo was off working on our other little issue. Dante presented all of his current findings to us, then we spent the rest of the day trying to piece it together with what Billy had given us. Not everything fit, but enough did. By six o’clock that evening, we had come to the conclusion that it was very possible that Billy was right about who was behind Melanie’s death. A number of leads led back to Robert Carmine.

But the information still wasn’t enough for us to do anything about it. At least, it wasn’t enough to risk an international incident.

“We can’t tell her yet,” Austin’s voice broke through my anxiety-ridden thoughts.

Damen shook his head. “I don’t know. I think you are underestimating her.”

“Thirteen years, Damen,” Austin said. “She’s been waiting thirteen years for revenge.”

“Justice,” I corrected absently.

“What?” Austin said.

“She’s been waiting thirteen years for justice,” I said, sitting back in my chair. “If she has the evidence to take him down, she won’t challenge him directly.”

“So you agree we should tell her?” Damen asked hopefully.

I sighed. “I still don’t know yet. Everything we have is circumstantial. We may be convinced, and even Willa, but we wouldn’t be able to remove him as Alpha with this. Sure, we could injure his reputation and even cost him a number of pack members. But remove him completely?”

“His Majesty is right,” Dante said. “The Black Moon Pack is divided, but Robert has some strong supporters. He could easily buy his way out of this. It would just turn into a conspiracy theory.”

“If Willa believes, even for a second, that he might get away with this, she’ll go after him herself. There will be no stopping her,” I said. “We can’t tell her until we have better proof. At least something that could shed enough doubt among the pack, even his supporters, that it couldn’t be swept under the rug.”

Damen sighed heavily in frustration. “I still think we should tell her. She’ll give us time. We’ll get the proof.”

I rubbed my hands along my face.

“Ferrin?” Damen said insistently.

“I don’t know,” I snapped, knocking a lamp from the side table aggressively, the sound of it shattering echoing through the room.

Just then, Rebekah mind-linked me. She said Willa was with her, Henry, and the kids. And that the kids were asking to see me. I told her I would be there in a few minutes.

“We need more information,” I finally said. “Information we’re not going to find here in these files. We agree that Willa’s uncle is our primary suspect, but there is still the part about the packs being loyal to Willa. We need to find out how valid that claim is, and we still need to find the connection to the lycan who actually murdered Melanie. Until then…”

“Ferrin…”

“Until then,” I said, stopping Damen and putting a command behind my words, “no one brings this up with her without me present and without discussing what she knows first. Is that understood?”

They all submitted immediately, not trying to fight the command. I felt a little guilty using it on my friends, but there was too much at stake.

“I’m going to spend some time with my family,” I said as I stood.

My sister’s old apartment wasn’t far from Damen’s or mine. We were housed in the same area of the castle, so it didn’t take long to get there. Shawn and Ryan were still standing guard, and I dismissed them for the night. I caught my mate’s scent before I even opened the door. I let it calm my nerves before entering. Hoping it would be enough to hide the mood I was in.

As soon as I opened the door, two small blurs rushed at me, nearly knocking me against the wall.

“Uncle Ferrin,” little voices repeated in unison.

I chuckled as I hugged my niece and nephew tightly to me. Throwing Warren over my shoulder and grabbing Anna by the waist, hanging her sideways in my grasp, I trudged into the room. I threw them on the couch cushions and immediately started tickling them both. The very high-pitched and very loud squeals easily attracted attention, and Rebekah came in from the back patio, Willa in tow, drinks in hand.

“Hey, you get them riled up — you’re the one stuck getting them to sit still long enough to eat dinner,” my sister warned.

“Uncle Ferrin,” Anna said as she jumped up, “did you know Aunty Willa knows how to make ice cream in a can?”

“No, I didn’t know that. Really? With a can? That doesn’t sound possible,” I teased.

“It is! She said she would show us how to do it,” Warren interjected.

“Well, Aunty Willa is very smart and full of surprises,” I said, meeting Willa’s gaze with a wink. “If anyone can teach you, she can.”

She offered a small, sweet smile in response to my compliment. Suddenly, there was entirely too much space between us. I slipped past the twins, ruffling their hair on the way, and met my mate by the back door. Wrapping my arms around her, I felt some of the tension leave my body. But I noticed she held some in hers. I almost thought she tensed at my touch, but she quickly returned the embrace, so I must have imagined it.

“Where’s Henry?” I asked, keeping my arm securely around Willa’s shoulders.

“He’s outside. He’s just finished setting dinner out on the terrace. We were coming to get the pups,” Rebekah said. “Come on, all of you. Butts outside and in seats.”

We all headed outside and sat at the table for dinner. I was pushed down to the end because Anna and Warren were arguing about who got to sit next to Aunty Willa. Pride and joy swelled in my chest both at the term of endearment and at how quickly they had gotten attached to my beautiful mate. She interacted with them so naturally throughout dinner that I couldn’t help the images of our future cycling through my mind.

Images of Willa pregnant. Of our pups playing with their cousins. Of all the family we would raise here together. I hadn’t realized just how much I wanted that until now. Probably because I wanted those things with Willa. I couldn’t have wanted them this much with anyone else.

But those thoughts were tempered by the strange mood I sensed from my mate. Whenever she caught my eye, she would quickly look away, her face flushing. I couldn’t read what was happening with her, but I hid my unease, not wanting to draw attention to her reactions.

Once we were done with dinner, Willa and I helped clean up and wash the dishes. We shared a little small talk for a few minutes, but I was eager to get Willa alone back in our apartment. So I wrapped the conversation up quickly. We said our goodbyes, and I took Willa by the hand.

She seemed to be moving a bit slowly as we walked the short distance to our quarters.

“Is your leg bothering you,” I asked, concerned.

“No,” she said genuinely. “It feels pretty good. Almost all healed up.”

I nodded. As if she sensed my worry, she wrapped her arm around mine and leaned against me. I held back a sigh of relief, not wanting her to know just how concerned I was and how heavily something was weighing on me.

We made it back to our apartment and opened the door for her. Once it was shut behind us, I ran a hand down her arm and she seemed to jump out of her skin.

“Um, I’m pretty tired,” she said without looking at me. “I’m going to get changed for bed.”

Before I could even think to respond, she was rushing to her room and closing the door.

What the hell?