Chapter 44 Thoughts
“I wonder how was Kai after what she have done?” Selene whispered while looking outside the window.
It had been a few days since she arrived at the enemy pack. The sky outside was calm, painted in soft blue and white, as if nothing bad had ever happened. The breeze moved the curtains gently, brushing against her skin like a quiet reminder that she was still alive.
Alive… and far away.
So far, she hasn't been killed. Not threatened. Not locked away.
Instead, she was treated with care.
Too much care.
Sometimes it made her uneasy. Sometimes it made her feel warm. And sometimes, it made her feel guilty.
She rested her head against the pillow and stared out the window, her thoughts drifting back to the moment everything broke apart.
Kai.
Her chest tightened.
“I wonder how she is now,” Selene murmured. “Is she crying? Is she scared?”
Her fingers curled slowly against the blanket.
Kai had pushed her.
The truth still felt heavy, like a stone pressing against her heart. No matter how many times she replayed it in her mind, it didn’t change. The shock in Kai’s eyes. The fear. The anger.
The push.
Selene swallowed hard.
“What happened after?” she whispered to herself. “When they found out what you did… what did you say, Kai?”
Did Kai tell the truth? Or did she lie, like she always did when things got ugly?
A sharp ache formed in Selene’s chest—not from her injuries, but from worry.
“And Auntie…” she continued softly. “How is Auntie holding up?”
Her aunt had always been strong. Tough on the outside. Protective in her own way. But Selene knew that once she lost control, once she learned what happened, she would break.
Selene closed her eyes for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, not knowing who she was apologizing to.
Then another thought crept in.
Christopher.
Her breath hitched slightly.
“What was your reaction?” she asked the empty room. “Were you angry? Shocked?”
Or…
A bitter smile tugged at her lips.
“Maybe you were relieved,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re happy that I’m gone.”
The thought hurt more than she expected.
Christopher had always been confusing. Possessive one moment. Distant the next. Some days he looked at her like she was everything. Other days, like she was nothing more than a responsibility.
“If you think I’m dead…” she murmured, eyes lowering. “Did you feel free?”
Her heart ached.
She hated herself for wondering.
And then—
The memory came.
Not a thought.
A flash.
Moonlight flooded her vision.
The forest.
The cold silver glow.
Christopher’s arms around Kai.
Their lips moving.
The sound of it ripped through her chest all over again.
“Kai…” Selene heard herself whisper, six years in the future, her voice trembling as she stood frozen in the shadows.
The betrayal hit her just as hard now as it did then.
Her sister.
Her mate.
Together.
She remembered the way Kai’s eyes widened in guilt. The way Christopher froze. The way the world cracked beneath her feet.
She remembered screaming.
She remembered shifting.
She remembered fighting them—alone.
Two against one.
She remembered the pain.
Being thrown to the ground.
Her strength fading.
Her body breaking.
She remembered collapsing, helpless, as the people she trusted stood over her.
And then her death.
Her chest tightened violently as Selene gasped, her eyes snapping open.
Her heart pounded painfully against her ribs.
“That was my first death…” she whispered, her voice shaking.
Killed by the same two people.
Her own sister.
Her own mate.
Her fingers trembled as she clenched the blanket.
“And now…” she breathed, swallowing hard. “This is the second time I almost died.”
This time, she is pushed off a cliff, left broken by the river but saved by enemies.
Selene let out a slow breath and leaned back against the pillows. Her body was still sore, still healing, but her mind refused to rest. Questions piled up one after another, each heavier than the last.
“What happens when they find me?” she asked quietly. “When they know I’m alive.”
Would her pack come for her?
Would Kai beg for forgiveness?
Would Christopher drag her back like nothing ever happened?
Or worse… would no one come at all?
Selene opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling.
“No,” she said softly. “I won’t drown myself in guesses.”
She clenched her jaw slightly.
“I’ll settle everything once I go back,” she whispered, firm despite the fear. “Face to face.”
Her gaze drifted back to the window.
She had made up her mind.
For now, she would survive. Heal. Observe.
Then she would return.
A knock broke the silence.
Selene turned her head toward the door just as it opened.
“Hey!” Cariel’s cheerful voice filled the room.
Jenna followed behind her, holding a tray. “You’re staring at the window again.”
Selene smiled faintly. “I do that a lot.”
Cariel plopped herself onto the chair beside the bed. “You look better today,” she said, studying Selene’s face. “Less pale.”
“Still broken,” Selene joked softly.
Jenna placed the tray on the table. “Doctor said you can sit up longer now. But no standing.”
Selene nodded. “I know.”
Despite everything, she felt… comfortable around them.
Every day, Jenna and Cariel visited her. They talked about small things—pack duties, funny mistakes, random gossip. Cariel talked the most. Jenna listened more.
They never treated Selene like an enemy.
And that scared her.
“They don’t know,” Selene thought as she watched them. “They don’t know who I really am.”
“What’s that look?” Cariel asked, tilting her head.
Selene blinked. “What look?”
“The deep-thinking one,” Cariel said. “Like you’re about to disappear into your head.”
Selene laughed quietly. “Just thinking.”
“Dangerous,” Cariel joked.
Jenna smiled slightly. “You worry too much.”
Maybe.
But Selene couldn’t shake the thought.
“What happens when they find out?” she wondered. “When they know I’m from West Pack.”
She imagined their smiles fading. The warmth disappearing. The care turning into distance—or worse.
“Maybe they’ll abandon me,” Selene said suddenly, the words slipping out before she could stop herself.
Cariel frowned. “Abandon you? Why would we do that?”
Selene froze.
Jenna looked at her closely. “What made you think that?”
Selene hesitated, then looked away. “Just… a thought.”
Cariel crossed her arms. “Well, it’s a bad thought.”
Selene smiled weakly. “You don’t know everything about me.”
“Do we need to?” Cariel replied. “You’re hurt. You’re kind. That’s enough for now.”
Selene’s chest tightened.
“You really think that?” she asked quietly.
Jenna nodded. “People aren’t just where they come from.”
Selene looked at them, unsure how to respond.
Warmth filled her chest again. A feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Belonging but it felt fragile and temporary.
“Thank you,” Selene said softly.
Cariel grinned. “See? You’re smiling more.”
After a while, they left her alone again, promising to come back later.
The room grew quiet.
Selene slowly shifted, careful not to push herself too much. She stood beside the bed, leaning slightly on the furniture, just like the doctor allowed. Her legs trembled after a few minutes, forcing her to sit again.
“You really can’t stand long,” she muttered.
She stared at her hands.
“So many questions,” she whispered. “And no answers.”
But deep inside, she knew one thing.
No matter how safe she felt here…
No matter how kind they were…
This wasn’t her place.
Her problems were waiting for her back home.
And when the time came—
She would face them.
No matter how painful it would be.