122

122
Thrian's POV

I waited apprehensively for her to come through. I just sort of expected her to allow me in and let me explain. But clearly, that wasn't going to happen. The moment after I found out how completely destroyed the situation was with the intervention of Riker, who just came at the perfect time to ruin it, I knew that things were going to be tough between the both of us.

I tried an explanation. I really did try because I was really tired, and I hated how things were between us. But she didn't agree to let me explain to her at all. Instead, she completely pushed me away. The worst part was that there was hardly anything I could do when she was pushing me away the way she was now.

I retreated to my room with a frown on my face, trying to figure out what I should do next. I sat down, waiting for the voice in my head, a couple of them at least, to tell me what to do and how to think of this, and how serious to take this issue.

"There's nothing really here," I finally concluded to myself, maybe just an attempt at self-pity on my part. But I really couldn't help but feel kind of ignored after all that was happening right now. "She's going to come to you sooner or later," I told myself simply with a smile on my face. "And when that happens, everything will be back to normal," I said. "I will explain to her and she will understand."

As I took out my phone, however, I couldn't do anything productive with it. I was actually trying my best to be productive, but in truth, all I was looking for was a distraction from her. And presently, my phone wasn't cutting it. Sure, it was a distraction, not a bad one at that, but the reality was that even if it was a distraction, it was very difficult for me to keep focused. I was only kind of waiting for evening to come so that we would have our meal together as usual. Once we had that meal, I would be able to explain myself once again.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, evening came. I was rather excited as I started making my way over to the dining room with a very expectant expression on my face. It would be a huge workout for me. That was simply how I thought about it.

Soon enough, however, when I waited there at the dining table for a while and there was no trace of her coming, I started actually getting worried. "Wow, she might still be angry," I thought to myself. This was only just now coming rather prominent and looming in my mind now when it should have a long time ago.

"If she's not coming, then how are we going to make up? We need to have this meal like we did when things were well between us. We need to have this meal and talk about various issues," I thought to myself, not knowing how to get her to come. She really didn't want to come all on her own, but I knew that I needed to try something at least. If not, it would be absolutely futile, and I would regret everything a lot more than I was already.

"It shouldn't really be a problem, I'll just call her here," I thought to myself finally. I beckoned to a guard, "Tell her that I want her to be here for a meal," I started, but then I stopped myself. My order sounded like an overly formal command. I thought about it carefully, putting myself in her shoes before shaking my head. If somebody spoke to me like that, I was already pretty sure that I would never do his bidding, not to talk of her when she was hurt.

"Wait," I said, knowing that the guard would be so foolish that he would tell her what I said, how I said it. Well, maybe not that level of foolishness, but honestly that was the only thing I could call it now.

"Tell her instead that food is ready and that she really should eat," I said, smiling to myself at how tactful my words were and the change in tone compared to what had happened to come out of my mouth when I told the guard what to do the last time.

It didn't take long for the guard to make his way out of the room. And I knew that soon enough she should be here if she was going to actually come. Unless she wasn't, and unless even after everything, my words wouldn't cut it to change her mind.

I waited for about 15 minutes before sending another guard, and then a third guard, because somehow this stuff just wasn't working out, and it left me very worried. Finally, the three guards came, all of them coming back together despite being sent there at different times.

"She's not coming. It seems she wouldn't introduce herself or give us an answer," one of them said, with the others nodding in agreement at the same time in such a collective way that it looked good, but the badness of the news negated all of that all on its own.

"Wow," I said slowly, my mind reeling already. "You shouldn't feel too much about it," I wanted to tell them, but I wasn't allowed to. From people who may not know about what's happening, people who may not know that these problems that seem to be happening right now were all my fault.

"Just the truth," I said, rising from my seat, having lost all my appetite and energy. The guards looked at one another with deep frowns on their faces, but they didn't say anything. "Leave," I said, and they all started leaving without saying anything to me until I stood there by myself, thinking in the dining room before walking away entirely.

I could try to bring her here. I could try to force the conversation that I wanted to have with her, but somehow I just didn't feel like it was ideal for me to be pushing for something like that. And I also didn't think that she would appreciate me doing that now. She needed some time to recuperate and regroup after everything that happened to her. And I would be a foolish person if I decided not to give her that time just to try to win with a night trip for a while.

With our duties hopefully to come to a standstill for the night, I went on my way out of the dining room and straight to the Palace Bar. I didn't remember the last time I was here as I stood at the counter. My job was a part of my worry.

"Alpha, you are here today," the bartender asked me with a common mistress.

I shrugged. "It is what it is," I said. "Give me a drink," I said.

He started hovering for a while, like he had a lot of opinions of his own, but he didn't suggest any attention. I just wasn't ready to receive his insight as well.

The bartender gave me what I requested, a cool glass of wine that I knew would take me through for a large amount of time if I sipped it slowly. However, I was rich, the alpha, so I would drink a lot of it and then have another.

A couple of wise words on how kings shouldn't drink crossed my mind, but I really couldn't think about that right now, and I found myself ignoring it all because it was just a bit too hard for me. I was so into it. More than that, I was tired and frustrated.

If only I hadn't done what I had, if only I hadn't kept it all from her. Maybe we'd still be good friends and lovers right now. I might even be in her room and we'd be having the time of our lives. It's all my fault. That's about the reason why I was full of regrets. I knew it was too many times to count.

"You shouldn't drink too much," a voice sounded all of a sudden as I was about to take a sip. It was deep, cold, the voice of someone I knew. I had no idea what he was trying to achieve like this, but the bartender's business was with how much I drank, not this person's.

I ignored him politely as I took a nice long sip that had me breathing deeply. I took another sip. The voice came again, but suddenly I realized it was one that was oddly familiar. It wasn't the bartender, so it had to be someone else. I felt a shiver as I recognized that sweetest voice in my ears with me at that moment, Marian.