Chapter 73 FALSE INTIMACY
Medea's Pov
Eclipse told me I needed to sleep with Raphael tonight and the thought of it made me feel sick but I knew she was right. If I was pregnant I needed him to think the baby was his.
I took a long shower and put on nice clothes and tried to make myself look good even though I felt terrible inside.
When Raphael came home from his meetings, I was already waiting for him in our bedroom. The soft light from the window cast shadows across the room, but he didn’t notice—I could see the surprise flash across his face the moment he stepped inside. He paused mid-step, eyes narrowing slightly as he took in my presence. “You’re… here,” he said, his voice catching just enough to betray his curiosity and wariness.
"Hey. I thought you'd be asleep by now," Raphael said.
"I wanted to wait up for you," I said and I tried to smile but it felt fake.
"Is everything okay? You've been kind of distant lately," Raphael said.
"I know. I'm sorry. I haven't been feeling well but I'm better now," I said.
"Are you sure? Because if you need to rest that's okay," Raphael said.
"I'm sure. I missed you," I said even though that wasn't true at all.
Raphael crossed the room and sat on the bed beside me, the mattress dipping under his weight. He reached out and touched my face, his fingers warm and familiar, and I had to force myself not to pull away. Every instinct screamed for distance, but I kept my expression calm, steady, even as tension coiled tight beneath my skin and I reminded myself why I was still sitting there.
"I missed you too," Raphael said.
He leaned in to kiss me and I let him even though all I could think about was Derek and how wrong this all was. When Raphael pulled me closer I went through the motions but my mind was somewhere else completely.
"Medea?" Raphael said and he stopped.
"What?" I asked.
"You seem distracted. Are you sure you're okay?" Raphael asked.
"I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess," I said.
"We don't have to do this if you're not feeling up to it," Raphael said.
"No I want to. Really," I said even though I didn't want to at all.
"Okay. But if you want to stop just tell me," Raphael said.
He was being so nice, so gentle, and it made everything worse. Each soft word, each careful touch, felt like a reminder of how undeserving I was of his trust. He didn’t deserve this—not the lies, not the deception, not the betrayal—even if he wasn’t perfect. No one deserved to be treated this way, and yet here I was, caught between my own choices and the weight of the truth I could no longer hide.
We kept going and I tried to act normal but it was hard. I kept thinking about Derek and Eclipse and how many lies I was living. Every touch from Raphael felt wrong because I knew I had just been with someone else.
"I love you," Raphael whispered and that almost broke me.
"I love you too," I said back but the words felt empty.
After it was over Raphael fell asleep almost immediately. He was holding me close and his breathing got slow and steady.
But I couldn't sleep. I just laid there staring at the ceiling with tears running down my face. I cried as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake him up.
What had I done? How did I let things get this bad?
I thought about when Raphael and I first got together. How happy I was. How I thought I finally had everything I ever wanted. A mate who loved me. A position of respect. A chance at a family.
But I ruined it all by lying. And now I was in so deep I couldn't see a way out.
If Raphael ever found out the truth he would never forgive me. He would reject me and exile me or worse. And I would deserve it.
I thought about Eclipse and how she seemed so okay with all of this. How she could lie and manipulate without feeling bad about it. I used to admire that about her. How strong she was. How nothing bothered her.
But now I realized it wasn't strength. It was something else. Something broken inside her that let her hurt people without caring.
And I was becoming just like her.
I looked at Raphael sleeping next to me and felt so guilty I thought I might throw up. This man loved me. He took care of me. He gave me everything I asked for. And I repaid him by cheating on him and lying about whose baby I might be carrying.
"I'm sorry," I whispered even though he couldn't hear me. "I'm so sorry."
The tears kept coming and I couldn't stop them. I cried for what felt like hours until finally I was too exhausted to cry anymore.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up to Raphael shaking me gently.
"Medea? Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep," Raphael said.
"I'm fine. Just a bad dream," I said.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Raphael asked.
"No. It's okay. I don't even remember what it was about," I lied.
Raphael pulled me closer and kissed my forehead.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Raphael said softly, his thumb brushing my cheek. “If something is bothering you, I want to help.” His eyes searched mine, open and sincere, offering comfort instead of judgment. That made it harder than anything else—to look at someone who trusted me so completely, knowing how much I was still keeping hidden behind silence and half‑truths.
"I know. Thank you," I said.
But I couldn’t tell him anything. If I told him the truth, it would destroy everything we’d built and unravel what little stability remained. So I had to keep lying. I had to keep pretending everything was fine, wearing a careful smile and measured words, even as the cracks spread beneath the surface. On the outside, our life looked intact, controlled. On the inside, everything was already falling apart, piece by fragile piece.
"I need to go check on some pack business. Will you be okay here?" Raphael asked.
"Yes. I'm just going to rest," I said.
After Raphael left I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and barely recognized the person looking back at me.
My eyes were red and puffy from crying. My face was pale. I looked like someone who was keeping terrible secrets and I guess that's exactly what I was.
I splashed water on my face and tried to pull myself together. I had to keep it together for just a little longer. Just until the blessing ceremony. Just until we knew if I was actually pregnant.
And then what? Then I would have to live with this lie for the rest of my life. I would have to look at my child every day and know that Raphael wasn't really the father. I would have to pretend everything was perfect when really it was all based on lies.
I heard my phone buzz and saw a text from Eclipse.
"Did you do it?" the text said.
"Yes" I texted back.
"Good. Now we wait and see if it worked. If you get your period next week we do it again."