Chapter 6 THE DEVIL I ONCED LOVED
Celestia's POV
"Leader there is someone who wants to see you," I heard from my most trusted subordinate as he slipped into my tent. I roused from sleep brushing my fingers into my mangled locks of hair.
"Is it the leader of another rogue group?" I asked still between consciousness and subconsciousness.
Crane paused for a considerable time before responding to my question.
"He refuses to introduce himself, but…" Crane goes ahead to describe the man who had come to see me, each new detail making my muscles tense and every speck of slumber to be shredded out of my eyes.
"Are you really sure that's what he looks like?"
I already opened my feet and grabbed a jacket to throw over the tank top I was wearing. Both fabrics were worn out and past their prime. I remember, long ago, I wouldn't even be caught dead in this kind of clothes, and yet now these were among my best, and I wore them casually without a second thought.
I breezed past Crane, "Let's go he sounds familiar but I won't be sure unless I see him personally myself, where is he?"
"In the pit leader, we kept him there so that you could question him without stressing yourself honestly he was a real pain but he went in without any arguments I guess you really want to talk to you even though he doesn't want to tell us who he is I think…."
Crane kept talking but honestly, I was zoning out right now.
The descriptions he had given me matched only one man I had known in the past, the man who took everything from me my heart my body, and even the pup that came from me. He drained me down to my last drop and tossed me aside when he saw no more use for me.
It had already been 5 years.
And those were the longest 5 years of my life.
After my parade of shame, I was thrown off the border into no man's land.
For days I lived like an animal, with no roof above my head and scavenging for my food every day. Most of my meals were hunted for and eaten in my wolf form, it came to a point that I hardly ever transformed back to my other state.
My wolf, Shade, warned me of the dangers of this.
"The more time you spend in your wolf form the deeper our connection becomes,"
"Isn't that a good thing?" I said ignoring the elephant in the room when she brought it up to me one rainy day as I hid in a cave.
I could feel her agitatedly moving around in the interior of my consciousness.
"You know it's not a good thing, you've heard of rogues who lose all their humanity merged so perfectly with their primal instinct that everything else is thrown out the window. When that happens there is a person who knows a wolf just a dividend of bad and poor decisions we must remain separate to coexist perfectly or else we will end up destroying each other,"
It was good that I had such a strong-willed wolf.
She grieved over the loss of our mate and our pup but yet remained a pillar for me she refused to let me fall into complete darkness.
Sometimes I was grateful for her.
Then there way times that I was not so grateful.
Moments where I wished that she would just let me pull the plug.
"What are we even living for?" I would ask battling from day to day, every day I was attacked by a rogue who still smelt a lingering pack scent on me, it was incredibly inconvenient but at the same time, it gave me an absurd sense of relief.
One night on a full moon I came across two rogues, I was already sinking my baring my fangs and digging my pose into the ground as I pushed myself into a battle stance they just gave me a strange look and walked by.
A wail broke out from inside me, a howl of pure pain.
My scent was no longer that of a pack wolf, the one foolish string I desperately held onto had been snapped and now I carried the aura of a rejected one.
After that night nothing shade said moved me. I had already prepared a day, mapped out everything I was going to do, and in my heart I gave my dear Ash a goodbye letter, which was one that was written not with a pen on paper but my tears sinking into the soil.
I hoped in some way it would reach him.
But of course I wasn't counting on it, that would be silly.
There was a cliff I planned to head to, where I would end it all.
I have been holding onto hope that I would see my pup one day but I didn't want to deceive and touch on myself anymore.
But before I could reach the cliff I noticed that some rogues were intentionally avoiding it, I asked around and found out that a certain rogue who had gone completely berserk and lost his mind had made the cliffside his 'spot'
Nobody dared to go close unless they wanted to be ripped apart like confetti.
But I went ahead anyway.
I had lost all will to fight, if this was going to put an end to all my misery then so be it.
The berserker noticed me the moment I had one toe in his reserved spot and came out to me full speed, I closed my eyes and instead of the darkness I hoped to see there was a vivid picture of my son's face.
In that deciding moment, I knew I couldn't quit.
Not until I held Asher in my hand again.
So I fought.
Until I was torn, bloodied, and finally victorious.
The berserk transformed back his sanity returning to him after a good beating.
He was a muscular man with a full beard and perhaps in his early 30s.
I asked for his name.
He looked at me with a bewildered expression but still responded; "Crane my name is Crane,"