The Shadow of Guilt

The Shadow of Guilt
DASTAN

“You let them take her.” The words leave me before I can stop them.

Even speaking sends a pain through my chest. My ribs protest as I force myself upright, one hand immediately pressing against the fresh bandages wrapped around my torso.

Hours have passed since I watched Kaan take Elysia away. 

Candlelight flickers against stone walls untouched by smoke. Whoever carried me here chose one of the few chambers the fire hadn’t reached. 

The room tilts as my brain swims through my skull. I shut my eyes and draw in a slow breath through my nose, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

When I look up again, Jakko is still standing exactly where he was.

He doesn’t answer, his jaw is tight enough that I can see the muscles jumping beneath his skin.

“You let her go,” I repeat, quieter this time.

James shoves away from the wall. “You just handed her to him?”

Jakko’s gaze shifts between us. “It was the only way.”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “The only way?”

“They would’ve killed every one of us, and they still would’ve taken her.” His voice remains level, though exhaustion weighs every word down. 

Part of me knows he’s right. But that doesn’t matter. She is still gone.

I force myself farther upright. The movement tears at the wound in my chest, warm blood soaking through the clean linen beneath the bandages.

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave me for dead out there.”

Jakko studies me for a long moment. “I can’t bring her back alone.”

My eyes go to James, who also looks confused at that declaration. 

Jakko’s eyes drift toward the floor. “I need your help.”

I scoff.

“You need me, too,” he says. “Whether you like it or not.”

Before I can answer, the chamber doors slam open. Zumir stumbles inside. A guard follows close enough to shove him farther into the room before retreating and shutting the door.

The second Zumir sees Jakko, he crosses the room in three strides. His fist cracks across Jakko’s jaw.

Jakko’s head snaps sideways and he slowly turns it back. Blood beads along the inside of his lip, but he doesn’t lift a hand. He doesn’t even snarl.

“You deserve worse,” Zumir growls.

James looks ready to join him.

I watch Jakko carefully, waiting for the king to remind us whose palace we’re standing in. One command is all it would take. Guards would flood the room, and we’d be dead before we ever reached the door.

But he does nothing. He simply stands there, shoulders heavy, blood on his mouth, looking more exhausted than angry.

It unsettles me. None of this makes sense. He kidnapped Elysia ,chained her and tore her away from me. Yet now he’s letting the men he captured strike him without consequence.

If this is an act, it’s a convincing one. If it isn’t, then I have no idea what game he’s playing. He says he needs us to save Elysia, but how can I trust him when she needed saving from him first. 

“Enough,” I growl, my voice rough. “We don’t have time.”

Zumir frowns. “You trust him?”

I eye Jakko and shake my head. “We can kill each other after we get her back.”

James stares at me as though I’ve lost my mind. “You cannot be serious.”

I meet his eyes. “If killing him would bring Elysia back, I’d already have his head. But she’s with Kaan.”

My gaze shifts to Jakko. His shoulders stiffen almost imperceptibly. One of the candles burning on the table suddenly flares, the flame stretching twice its height before settling again.

“You took her,” I say. “You lied to her. You terrified her. You don’t deserve to stand in the same room as her.”

Jakko accepts every word without argument. His eyes never leave the floor. “I know.”

Something inside me snaps. Cold races beneath my skin, frost creeping across the wooden floor at my feet. It climbs the legs of the chair before brittle ice begins to spread over the stone beneath Jakko’s boots.

Jakko just watches it, not an ounce of fear, not an inch of shock on his face. When he lifts his head to look at me, I snarl. 

“Don’t stand there looking like you’re the one who lost something.”

The air drops several degrees. James takes an unconscious step away from me while Zumir watches the frost crawl farther across the floor.

“She is the victim in all of this, not you.”

Another crack of ice splinters across the stone. I force myself to my feet despite the pain tearing through my ribs.

“So don’t tell me you know.”

Ice climbs the legs of the bed I was sitting on, coating the wood in white.

“You don’t get to look sorry.”

Ice bursts from beneath my feet, racing across the floor until it grips Jakko’s boots. He looks down at the frost trapping his feet, then lifts his eyes to mine.

“You can hate me for the rest of your life,” he says quietly. “You can argue with me all you want, but that won’t bring her back.”

My jaw clenches. “You met with Kaan. You brought him here.”

His jaw flexes.

“Why?”

Jakko rubs both hands across his face. “I knew he was searching for the last Raven.”

Zumir frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. “You were using him.”

Jakko’s voice sharpens. “I let him believe we wanted the same thing.”

I stare at him. “You’re telling me you spent years pretending to help the man hunt her?”

He inhales, chest rising as his hands tighten into fists. “Yes, to get to her first. To protect her.”

I laugh, a harsh, humorless sound. “You’ve got a twisted definition of protection.”

“So do you.”

My jaw locks. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Yet the words dig beneath my skin, anyway. There was a time when I would have sacrificed Elysia without hesitation. For my people. For the throne.

Jakko doesn’t let up. “You taught her to reach for fear every time she needed her magic.”

My jaw tightens. “Because that’s how it works.”

“No,” he says. “That’s how you taught her it works. She is much more powerful than that.”

I force my breathing to steady.

Jakko’s expression remains unreadable. “She shouldn’t need fear to become who she is.”

I don’t have an answer for him or a retort. I know she’s powerful. I know what she is capable of. Morturorum needs her. The Veil needs her. My people need her.

I need her.