There Is No Us

There Is No Us
Jakko’s eyes never leave me as he forces me to feed him bite after bite. Every second of it feels like a punishment.

My hands are trembling by the time lunch is over.

The moment Mek releases Em, she bolts from the dining room. Her soft sobs echo through the hallways even long after she’s gone. I stare down at my hands in my lap. My skin pink where Jakko kept grabbing me.

I can’t help the guilt that holds onto me, the fact that Em wouldn’t have been brought into this if I would have just listened to begin with. 

I’m too in my head, and without warning, he yanks me from my chair. Pain shoots through my arm, but I stand. 

“Very obedient,” he says, leaning close. “Maybe I should threaten Em every time I need something from you.”

Before I can stop myself, I grab a cup from the table and throw it at him. Water splashes across his chest, his eyes snapping closed in reaction. 

For a moment, neither of us moves. It’s quiet, absolutely silent, the tips of my fingers turning to ice. I can hear my heartbeat right in my ear. 

His nostrils flare, his chest rising with a long, hard breath. 

When he opens his eyes again, the anger in them is worse. 

He catches my wrists before I can step away. I struggle, but it doesn’t matter. He drags me against him, one hand locking around my jaw.

Panic crashes through me, this time turning my exhales into cold, bated breath. I twist away from him, fighting for space, but he only tightens his grip.

Pulling me in, he slams his lips against mine. I can feel the bruises forming on my lips as he presses himself harder onto me and pulls me closer. He wraps his other arm around my waist and picks me up as he stands to his full height. 

I scream against his touch I kick and thrash, but nothing changes, his steps don’t falter. He carries me toward the palace as though I weigh nothing at all.

“Why do you make everything so difficult?” he asks through clenched teeth.

I look away. I refuse to answer. It should be obvious, and it’s infuriating that he has to ask. The tears burning behind my eyes should be answer enough.

He takes me back to his room, back to the bed. I watch in disbelief as he secures the cuffs to the metal headboard.

“What are you doing?” I ask. 

He doesn’t answer me, pulling on the chains to make sure they’re set correctly. 

“Are you just going to leave me chained here?”

“You are a real pain in the ass, Elysia,” he says, walking away and heading toward the bathroom. 

I tug on the chain, attempting to pull the metal from my wrists. 

He stops at the threshold, watching me. When I stop, he smirks. “When I can’t watch you, you’ll stay chained. When you learn to obey without forcing my hand, maybe that will change.”

The door closes behind him and silence settles over the room. I curl onto my side and pull my knees to my chest. As soon as the adrenaline begins to fade, my body hurts. My head begins to pulse at the temples, aching. 

My heart seems to slow down to a deathly crawl. I think about Dastan, about the few months we had together. The little life we managed to build. The peace I convinced myself would last and the happiness that I had held onto. 

But then my thoughts betray me, and guilt is close behind. James takes over like a parasite, imagining the kiss we shared. It makes me feel terrible, like maybe this is all something that I deserved. 

I don’t know how much time passes before the bathroom door opens. Jakko emerges, wearing nothing but a thin fabric wrapped around his waist. My cheeks heat, and I immediately wipe at my face, refusing to let him see me cry again. 

His frown deepens as he reaches for a robe, setting it over his shoulders and tying it at his waist. He crosses the room, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. 

He grabs my arms, pulling me closer so that he can study my face. “Are you okay?”

I stare at him, blinking. Why is he asking?

“Are you hurt?”

The concern in his voice makes something bitter rise in my chest. I pull back with a scowl. “Why would you care?”

He lets go and rubs a hand over his face. “I know I was an ass today.”

I look away.

“Elysia.”

I don’t answer.

“I’m sorry.” His voice softens. “You drive me crazy sometimes. I can’t help it.”

His hand cups my cheek. I force myself to look at him as he moves my face to his direction. I search his expression for something human, for anything that will hopefully be worth understanding. 

And yet, I find nothing. 

“I just want to go home,” I whisper. “With Dastan.”

His expression hardens immediately. His jaw clenches and any warmth from my body drains completely. He looks so scary sometimes, so forceful. My fingers turn cold and he stands. 

“If you say his name again, I’ll hold you down and make you watch Em die.”

The room spins, my breath catching. “You can’t do that.”

He swallows, his throat working. His eyes are almost black, but they shudder, looking hesitant. With a shake of his head, he whispers. “We won’t work if you refuse to give us a chance.”

I flinch back. “Give us a chance?”

He looks me over, a softness I’m not used to seeing in him as he studies my expression. “That’s all I ask.”

I shake my head, scooting back. I find more comfort with the chains than I do with him. “There is no us.”

He looks away, but I see the anger flashing in his eyes. I see the muscles tense in his arms. “I’ll bring you some water.”

My mouth parts but no other words leave me as he walks out of the room and shuts the door behind him. The sound echoes through the room, and the last of my strength leaves me.

I sink back against the pillows and stare at the ceiling, trying not to think about Dastan. Trying not to think about Em. Trying not to think about tomorrow.