Chapter 33 Back in the Saddle
“You kind of have to go with your instincts, Alex,” Laura told her. “You have to be comfortable with the horses and the people that you will be working with. You want to look for a stable that is clean and doesn’t have stuff lying around that can be a hazard to you or the animals. That will tell you that they are on top of things and looking out for their clients and their animals. It looks like both of these are pretty good, so I would just go with your gut.”
“Thanks so much,” she said. “I knew you would be helpful. I can always trust you. I really do miss you.”
“Well, maybe I can come out for a visit,” Laura replied.
“Oh my god,” Alexandra shouted. “That would be soooo awesome!”
“Don’t get too excited,” Laura replied. “It might be a while. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” Alexandra replied. She was certain that it would be about her relationship with Cameron or about Evan, and she braced herself for it.
“Are you planning on working?” she asked.
“What?” Alexandra said automatically. It wasn’t the question that she expected. “I was thinking about it. Why?” She was truly confused.
“Well,” Laura began. “I think you need to be able to take care of your own stuff. I just have a gut feeling, that's all.”
“You sound like my mom,” Alexandra chuckled uncomfortably. Laura was getting a little close to home again.
“But you know what?” Laura said. “You’ll probably be fine for a little while. Enjoy yourself. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m so glad that you want to ride, Alex. I’ve been wanting this for you.”
“I really do love it, Lars,” she replied. “No problem. You’re right, I do need to think about working. I just kind of want to experience new things for a while. You know?”
“Yes, I know,” Laura answered. “I’m so happy for you. Be careful and call me later, K?”
“I will,” she said. “Especially if I need you to help me decide. Thanks.”
“Not a problem. Take care of yourself,” she said.
“Thanks. I will. Love ya bunches.”
“Love you too. Ciao bella.”
“Ciao daaaaling.”
The smooth, rocking rhythm beneath her was an incredible sensation. As the horse moved, Alexandra slipped into a quiet heaven, the same unbridled freedom she had first tasted on that dusty Colorado trail with Evan. The wind had not been slapping her face, nor had she been chasing elk, but the sensation was enough to pull her back to the moment she and Evan had ridden off together, laughing at the world rushing past.
When the horse’s gait steadied, all that filled her mind was Evan’s grin. For a while, she had felt a sting of guilt, fearing that the memory was a betrayal of her engagement. Then she realized that a memory, no matter how vivid, could not be cheating. Fantasies linger in everyone’s mind, like a song playing in the background; they only become betrayals when acted upon. The past could sit beside the present, each respecting its own place.
The flash of that Colorado sunrise resurfaced as she recalled watching Evan work a gelding in a round pen. The simple act of guiding the animal opened her eyes, igniting a fresh love for life that she had never known. The scent of hay, the grit of dust lifted by hooves, even the faint taste of sun‑baked earth, all of it returned to her in the arena, reminding her that freedom could be felt anywhere a horse moved beneath her.
“Looks like you’ve got a natural feel for this,” her instructor said, riding up beside her.
Alexandra smiled, grateful but restless. She longed for the open range, for speed and wind, not the measured patterns of the indoor arena.
“Thanks,” she replied. “I’ve ridden before; I’m just sharpening my skills.”
She felt a surge of pride remembering how she’d managed the complex western saddle on Evan’s ranch. That saddle, with three straps and a breast collar, had been a far cry from the simple English-style one she was using with only a single cinch keeping everything in place. Curiosity nudged her.
“The saddles here are much simpler than what I’m used to,” she ventured. “My old one had three straps; this one just has one.”
“That sounds like a ranch saddle,” her instructor noted. “Probably a breast collar and back cinch for roping and working cattle. We don’t need those in the arena. Did you do any roping?”
“No,” Alexandra answered, the memory of the chase flashing across her face. “We chased elk.”
“Chased elk?” the instructor repeated, eyebrows rising. “Why?”
“Because we could,” Alexandra said, a grin spreading. “Riding through the sagebrush, wind in my hair, it felt like I was barely touching the ground. I want that again.”
“You already ride well,” the instructor observed. “So why the lessons?”
“Because it’s the only way I can be on a horse right now,” Alexandra answered. “I need that motion, that sense of freedom.”
The instructor considered her for a moment. “I teach the basics here, but if you truly want the open‑range experience, I can arrange for you to work with a rancher I know.”
“Really?” Alexandra’s eyes widened.
“Sure. I’ll ask him. Your next lesson is on Friday, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll have an answer by then.”
“Will I get to ride my own horse? Can I bring Ruger?” she asked, referring to the steady bay mare she’d been using for class.
“You’ll have a horse,” the instructor said, smiling at her excitement. “It may not be a wind‑runner, but it’ll be a good match for you.”
“Thank you,” Alexandra said, blushing at the childlike enthusiasm in her voice. “I’d gladly pay for the favor.”
“No need.” The instructor warned, “If you go out to a ranch, you’ll be working hard, long days, lots of sweat. But you’ll also get the space you crave.”
“It’s worth it,” Alexandra affirmed. “I just want to gallop, even a little.”
“After the class clears out, I’ll give you a few extra minutes to practice on your own,” the instructor offered. “Just watch the turns, Ruger likes to cut them short.”
“Got it,” Alexandra replied, already feeling a surge of anticipation.
The generosity of the people out West struck her anew. Unlike the tight‑lipped transactions in Pittsburgh, people here offered help without expecting a price. A stranger would lend a hand, and favors were given freely, not as something reserved only for friends or family. It was a cultural shift she was learning to appreciate.
She waited patiently as the other students, mostly children, finished their drills. When the arena finally emptied, the instructor gave a nod.
“It’s yours now,” she said. “Be careful on the turns.”
Ruger, ever eager, surged ahead as they entered the first bend. The horse’s sudden pivot threw Alexandra toward the edge of the saddle, and for a heartbeat, she feared she’d be thrown. Reflex and grit kept her clinging, her legs digging into the stirrups as she steadied herself. The wind rushed past, but it lacked the raw exhilaration of the mountain chase. The arena’s confines, though safe, could not completely replicate the untamed feeling she craved.
Still, she smiled, grateful for the moment. The ride reminded her that freedom could be found in many forms, whether on a dusty Colorado trail, in the open prairie, or even within the measured circles of an indoor arena. Each experience added a new layer to her love of horses, and, with the promise of a future ranch ride on the horizon, the horizon itself seemed a little wider.
It was still a thrill to run, and her eyes watered from the joy that she experienced when she finally stopped and rode out of the arena. “Thank you so much for that,” Alexandra said. Her face was radiant, and her instructor could not help but reflect that very same joy right back at her.
“It was a thrill to watch you,” she said. “I truly love it when a person finds their passion on the back of a horse and lives it the way you do.”
Alexandra thanked her at least a dozen more times, as her instructor accompanied her to unsaddle and helped her give Ruger a rub down. She thanked her several more times as she was walking back out to her car. She could hardly believe that her instructor was going to call the rancher and allow her to ride out in the open. It was all that she could think about on her drive back home and all that she wanted to talk about when she walked into the apartment.