Fifty One. A True Friend Makes Sacrifices

My urgent need to be back at Jase’s side tonight met a serious road-block when I realized I don’t actually have any idea where Dr. Carson’s house is. I’ve never gone there, and I had zero reason to ask or investigate just where the place is. I also do not have the super werewolf ability to sniff out the trail of a loved one, so I find myself biding my time just lurking awkwardly outside Jase’s bedroom window instead, waiting for Ravenna to finally take her leave of the place so I can head inside and ask Nick for his father’s address.

The witch should leave back to her own family as soon as she thinks me gone. I expect her to make her exit by opening a portal or flying off as a shadow again, but maybe she’s too tired for that after all her major mojo costing miracles today, because she takes a broom out from under Jase’s bed instead. She climbs out onto the fire escape, mounts the thing like a no-handlebars bicycle and goes flying off across the night skies.

It’s the most bizarre and hilarious thing I have ever seen, and I wish Jase were here to see it too. We could laugh together at prim and proper latte witch soaring through the black skies in nothing but her silk nightie, getting her loose hair all tangled and squinting at the air ripping past her face.

It really makes me question why I was so very afraid of her in the first place…

Maybe it was never Ravenna whose presence I dreaded, closing in, hunting me. Maybe it was always Proteus.

My good mood dies at that thought, and I head back inside to pick up Jase’s trail.

I solidify right outside the door to Nick’s loft as trendily dressed Cassi Banks and raise my hand to knock. I considered just snooping through his things and searching for info on his father’s address while in invisible shadow form, but decided that would take too long and possibly produce zero results. After all, I can’t unlock a phone screen or any kind of computer without human fingers and password knowledge. Better to just come right out and ask for the intel.

It takes several minutes of knocking to get Nick to finally come and open the door. The first was just a polite little rap. Then I waited, tapping my foot. Then I knock again, harder, since this living space attached to a veterinary clinic does not have a doorbell.

My final series of knocks is just full on banging on the door with the flat of my hand, until finally Nick yanks it open. “No key...?” He trails off, as he notices it is not Jase standing out in the stairwell. “Um…”

“Cassi. I’m Cassi. Hi. Don’t know if you remember me. I guess we never really had a formal introduction. I’m Jase’s girlfriend.”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

“Not ex,” I insist. “That’s just… a misunderstanding. We had a bit of a fight, but we were working through it, and I was supposed to go meet him. He’s at his boss’s house apparently. But I read the text ‘At Carson’s’ and I just thought he meant the clinic,” I lie. “But now I’ve gone and dropped my phone down the gutter. Total klutz, I know. So anyway, I can’t call him back and ask for directions to this house. But Dr. Carson is your dad, right? So if you could just give me his address—”

“How did you even get in here?” Nick demands, and that is a valid question. There’s no way to get inside this loft without entering through one of the locked doors of the clinic, no way in for an ordinary girl at least.

“Jase gave me the key,” I lie. “We’re close like that--”

“Which is weird, because he like, just met you. And since he dumped you, you should probably give back that key, if there is one--”

“He did not dump me. We are great together, and I did not kill his cat!” I snap. “I can’t even believe he told you that lie--”

“How did you know he told me?” Nick demands, and my teeth click shut.

“I, uh, just kind of assumed, because… I mean… You are being really hostile.”

“I wasn’t being hostile, but now I’m feeling a bit antagonistic, because now I’m questioning just how long you’ve been spying on us.”

I blush. “I wasn’t spying. But I guess it is weird, me bringing up that cat killing thing if it was all a lie. But it is!” I insist, sounding like an absolute spaz. “I am not a cat killer--”

“I know. You are that cat,” Nick fills in dryly.

I stare at him, stunned.

“What? I’m not stupid. Mysterious cat shows up, then Jase starts treating said cat like a person and calling it Cassi, even feeding it human food and taking it into the shower with him. Then I come home to Jase having sex with some mysterious girl, someone he trusts enough to take home to his psychotic, supernatural family, and he also calls you Cassi… I can put two and two together, bruh.”

I swallow. “That is one wild theory...”

“Save the denials. I know about shape shifters and magic and all that kind of crap. But how long have you been following Jase around anyway, psycho? How long were you eavesdropping today, and just what exactly can you turn into besides hot chick and disarmingly cute kitten?”

I fall right into a puddle, my usual response to shame and judgment.

Nick stares down at that glistening surface of water and gives a little grunt. “Neat trick. Guess I can’t stop you from coming inside.”

He leaves the door hanging open and wanders over to the kitchen. I take that as a clear invitation, rise back up into flesh, and walk right inside, easing the door shut behind me. “About that address…”

“You’re not getting it,” Nick insists, keeping his back to me and flicking on the kettle to start it boiling.

“I need to talk to Jase.”

“Then you can just chill here and wait till he gets home,” Nick insists, gesturing toward the couch. “Sit. Have a tea.”

“How about a smoke?” I mutter, and Nick arches an eyebrow.

“What? You have no idea how stressful today has been.”

“Too bad. I don’t share my weed with people I don’t like, and you…” He shakes his head. “Well you’re a real piece of work.”

I flush. “I am sorry I did not tell you the truth about me sooner than this, alright?” I most charitably offer. “You are a good friend to Jase, and you had a right to know it was a human woman sharing your loft and not a cat. I guess that might have been upsetting to discover. I told Jase to keep it a secret because I was afraid of your father, and rightfully so!” He scoffs. “Laugh it off if you want, but we just found out today that your father was the one who drove Mike crazy in the first place by injecting him with untested drugs. That is probably what Jase went over there to confront him about tonight, and I am worried for him being caught in a room alone with the mad vet.”

“Do not insult my dad. He was just trying to help. Victor was like his best friend, and every experiment comes with certain risks…”

“He was being careless, using Mike, and now he’s using Jase,” I correct him coldly. “I can’t stomach that, and I bet you Jase isn’t going to believe his creepy justifications anymore either.”

“You are the danger to Jase, not my dad,” Nick mutters, pouring hot water into his mug. “But hey, you’re a guest here for now, so what kind of tea does a watery cat drink? Maybe you just want a glass of warm milk.”

“I like… most things. I don’t really care,” I murmur in response. “And I am not a danger to Jase. I am doing my best to protect him.”

“Oolong then? Yeah, you’re getting oolong. Milk and sugar?”

“Neither.”

“Black like your heart then. Good choice.”

I flush, accepting the cup regardless, because I am just that polite of a person. I also want us to get past this awkwardness of Nick thinking of me as Jase’s evil ex. We’re going to have to get along, all three of us, if I am going to be living here. And there is no reason human Cassi should not keep living here. I just have to deal with Ravenna somehow and get Jase to forgive me…

“Jase should come back before sunrise, right?” I prompt, looking nervously toward the clock. I didn’t realize it was already six in the morning. I spent so long drifting lost on the wind tonight that I guess I had no sense how late it actually was.

“Clinic opens at seven, so yeah. He’ll be back. Him and my dad.”

I turn cold, almost shrinking right back into a shadow again, but I don’t want to be trapped like that when the sun comes up. “Don’t tell him about me,” I plead. “I know you don’t like me very much, but--”

“You know, a part of me is worried my dad won’t be back here actually,” Nick cuts me off abruptly. “Because hell, maybe Jase lost his temper and just straight up killed him tonight.”

I stiffen. “Jase would never do that--”

“Course he would,” Nick denies, “and I couldn’t even blame him if he did.” I frown. “It’s a curse causing that uncontrollable temper after all, and no matter what Jase claims, no matter how hard he tries to focus and meditate and keep it under wraps, I know we’re only months away from him losing it completely, needing to be locked up at night, then maybe even during the daytime…”

I would never let that happen.

I almost say that out loud. Then I realize… I am letting it happen. Ravenna claims she is the only one that can cure the Blood Moon curse. She can cure it only with my death… But I’m running from her. I’m running from Jase, refusing to accept the fact that maybe that’s the truth, and if I really loved him, then I would make this sacrifice…

“Your tea’s getting cold,” Nick remarks, and I take a nervous sip.

“That’s really good actually. Thank you.” Lukewarm as it is now.

He gives no response, and we sit in awkward silence for an entire twenty minutes as I polish off that tea, staring at the doorway and agonizing over how long it will be until Jase gets back. Can I even face him when he does come home? He doesn’t want to see me, but I can’t just keep hiding and following him around. The sky outside is already starting to lighten anyhow, so my superpowers are just minutes from snuffing out, leaving me trapped as just your average human for the day.

“How are you even still awake right now?” I mutter to Nick. I was juiced up with new moon energy, so I felt zero need to sleep, but Nick looks like he’s been up all night, even while taking nothing but sedatives and tea.

He shrugs. “When you wake up at 4 PM you don’t really feel the need to sleep that night.” He checks his phone, glancing at the time, then looking to the lightening sky outside. “Feeling drowsy yourself yet?”

I shake my head. “You may not know this, but I’m kind of being hunted by these ancient evil forces, so I’m pretty much straight nerves and jitters at the moment. That tea was kind of the perfect thing to soothe my anxiety though.” Other than pot that is. I remember doing some in college, mostly brownies, helped a ton with my test anxiety. “I still wouldn’t mind a toke, before I talk to Jase though. Just one hit, and I can pay you back for it.”

“I don’t need your money, Cassi,” Nick rejects. “What I need is for you to do the right thing.”

‘And leave Jase alone, respect his decision and give him space.’ That’s what I expect him to say, and I am already dreading the words. I set down my empty tea cup, feeling suddenly exhausted, just as Nick guessed.

“No defenses from the accused?”

“You don’t know anything about this, Nick. It’s not my fault what happened. I know it hurt him, but he just doesn’t understand…”

“I understand.” I turn my head, locking eyes with him. “I understand you’re too selfish to give up your own life, even though it will save my friend along with his entire family. It will save my dad too. She promised it would.”

I’m finding it hard to focus on his words. Then the realization hits me like an avalanche. “Ravenna promised that? You spoke with her? You knew she was here earlier. You let her in?!”

“Yeah, I let her in. I called her in the first place when I spotted you guys out back today, pulling up in your truck. Deal was I hand over the rival witch that’s been stringing along my friend, and Ravenna heals my dad and me, cures us both completely.”

I want to stand up, run, but I don’t have the energy for it. My limbs just feel so heavy, my eyelids drooping. There was something in this tea, some sort of sedative… I need to shift my shape, fly away. My eyes fix on the graying sky and the first few rays of sunlight cresting the horizon.

Nick slips his arms around my back. “Come on now. We need to get you out of sight before Jase gets in. Ravenna will be back to collect you, as soon as he’s… Hey.”

Cassi has stopped breathing, because in my panicked rush to escape I didn’t change the shape of that confused mind whose consciousness was rapidly fading. I just pulled away from her entirely, leaving her dead on the couch as Nick puts an urgent hand to her wrist, checking for a pulse and finding none. “Oh shit. That wasn’t enough for an overdose. You shouldn’t be… Shit!”

I can still get away. Let Ravenna have Cassi’s soon to be rotting corpse. It will give her no power. There’s no essence inside that heart to consume, now that my spirit’s departed.

Even though, I can’t bear to be just a ghost again. I can’t bear to be apart from Jase, but…

I don’t have to be either, I realize. Jase and I have a strong enough bond after all these weeks that I can just slip inside his own skin, the second he gets here. I truly can stay with him forever and--

I can steal his life to save mine.

I am a monster for even considering that. I am exactly the selfish coward Ravenna made me out to be.

I snap right back inside Cassi in an instant, and I hear Nick give a heavy sigh of relief. “There’s the pulse. Okay. Just keep on breathing now. You’re gonna have a nice long nap, and by the time you wake, it will be the full moon. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much, whatever this ritual entails, but even if it does… You’re dying for a good cause, Cassi.”

I know. For the first time in centuries I am giving up my life willingly, not having it forcibly taken. I’m doing it to save Jase and his family, and hell even to save you, Nick. I hope Ravenna does keep her promise to you, and that she can cure you of this illness.

I hope some good can come of my sacrifice, but resigning yourself to a fate still does not make it any less painful. It does not make me any less afraid, because trapped in the dark now… I can feel Proteus, standing right there at my back. He’s waiting for me to die, waiting to have his powers returned to him…

I may have made a horrible mistake, not running from this ritual.