Chapter 7 — Still, I Am

Perplexed, Gonzalo and his associates trudged back home. Knowing that they could not all be confused about the call of a fellow wolf, Gonzalo was deeply worried that something was terribly wrong. Or is this punishment for my sins? Gonzalo thought wearily. Have we not been punished enough?

Despite the talks of Dez Alec and his council, Gonzalo couldn’t help but feel that they were hiding something. What it was, he did not know. But he was determined to find out. He could only hope that they would show him mercy and not visit his own sins on an innocent wolf.

Gonzalo and the council could not shake off the feeling that something was wrong. This feeling kept them so restless that they decided to check up on all the wolves in the pack. When they got back to their pack, Gonzalo quickly arranged a meeting. The council members consisting of Gastos, Vance, Corleon, Gavin, and Brandon convened at the meeting hall.

Gonzalo dived straight into it, having no time to waste. “Gentlemen, I believe we all know why we are here. Something is going on right under our noses, and it is not anything good. Who knows, they might have kidnapped one of us. I would not put it past them. They will do anything to get their revenge. This is not good at all. It is almost like we are at their mercy.” Gonzalo sighed deeply. “I really hope none of our kind is missing because I can’t come up with any reasonable explanation for this. Or does it mean we don’t know the voice of our kind?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Of course not!”

“Impossible!”

“They must think us fools if we don’t recognize our own!” Gastos spat.

Gonzalo continued, “Yes, Lowell. We are not stupid. They can try to deceive us all they want, but we can’t be fooled. We need to carry out a preliminary check first. We must carry out a headcount. Everyone needs to be accounted for just in case anyone is missing. Then we take up the case from there.”

They all agreed to this. “Yes, Alpha. We need to ensure that we are complete, so we don’t take hasty actions,” Ralph spoke up, glancing at Lowell. He knew that Lowell was itching for bloodshed, but not on his watch. They must follow due course.

“I will instruct every household to gather in the field for the headcount right away. If you will excuse me, Alpha.” Gonzalo nodded his permission, and Ralph went on his way.

Following Ralph’s instruction, all pack members gathered in the open field for the headcount. With their keen sight, Alpha Gonzalo and his council members carefully counted each pack member, taking mental notes for recollection. They took their time to avoid missing out on anyone.

To their greatest bewilderment, they discovered that all pack members were accounted for. Gonzalo looked around again to be sure. Alas! They made no mistake. There were no missing members. Dazed, they convened in the meeting hall again after dispersing the pack members.

Still in a daze, Gonzalo started the talk. “What exactly is going on? We are definitely not mistaken by the call of our own,” he started. Not even Ralph had anything to say. They were all quiet as they tried to make meaning of the situation.

Gavin then spoke up, “No matter how confusing this seems, we cannot afford to be complacent about this. There is something fishy going on here, and whatever it is, those vampires are involved.”

Brandon seemed to snap out of his daze. “Whatever we do, they know we are watching. We need to tread carefully, so we do not endanger the life of whoever it is. We can’t take that risk.”

As usual, the bloodthirsty Gastos thundered, “What nonsense! Are we going to sit here and fold our hands while our kin are going through who knows what?! Do we just sit here and do nothing knowing fully well they are holding one of us hostage and probably torturing him at this very moment?” he bellowed while looking each person in the face.

“Who knows what is going on in their sick twisted minds? They probably plan to send us his head as a gift. We cannot let those leeches get away with this, Alpha. I say we mobilize our forces and match in right now. Burn everything to the ground. This will teach them not to mess with us. We have been quiet for way too long, and they have taken our silence for weakness. No more, Alpha! Enough is enough!” Lowell concluded with a heaving chest.

They were all silent as they contemplated Lowell’s words and the next course of action. Gonzalo found himself between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, he did not want to start a war. On the other hand, he could not abandon a fellow wolf to a cruel fate with the vampires.

Corleon was uncharacteristically quiet. He pondered on the odds of going to war. Could they really win against the vampires? The vampires had the advantage of numbers, which they greatly lacked.

As if he read his mind, Brandon spoke, “Need I remind you, Gastos that we do not have the resources for war.” He looked pointedly at Gastos. “Besides, attacking the enemy is the last thing we should do if we want to get our kin back. Any perceived threat can be detrimental to the well-being of our kin. Whoever this wolf is, we may not know him. But we cannot pretend he does not exist. We can sense him. We can feel it in our bones. We cannot endanger his life no matter how tempting war seems. We have to get him back. But war is not the answer.”

Gonzalo weighed his options and could see no way out. Besides, Gavin the voice of reason, had spelled it out clearly. There was nothing he could do. He cleared his throat loudly.

“I agree with you both, Gastos and Gavin. We should not do anything hastily. A life is at stake here.” Gastos visibly scowled, unhappy with the Alpha’s decision. Gonzalo ignored him and continued.

“Let us just lay low for the moment and scout the area. They can try all they want to hide him, but we can’t be fooled. We know our kind. Something is bound to happen. The truth must surely come out. We will find him no matter how long it takes. But for now, we will be on the lookout. Everyone must be on alert at all times. Is that understood?” Gonzalo asked with his gaze fixed on Gastos, who was stewing on his seat.

They murmured in unison. “You are dismissed.” Gastos wasted no time in leaving the hall. Gonzalo shook his head; war was not the solution to every problem.

Back at his home, Gonzalo went in to check on his wife. He returned to the Daciana he left, happy, cheerful, and making food. She had gotten rid of the help and insisted on doing things herself. He couldn’t be any happier. His mind briefly drifted to the dark past; Daciana’s frail body, his sons’ misbehavior, and everything falling apart. He couldn’t help but think that if Daciana were alright, his boys would have turned out well. Maybe the unavailability of their mother made Farkas and Fiend turn out this way. He couldn’t be sure, but he had a strong feeling they would have fared better with both parents.

“Enough now!” He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. That was in the past. Daciana was definitely getting better, thanks to the help of the witch. He gazed at his wife lovingly and began to nurse the idea of her being whole again. His family would be whole again, and he looked forward to it. He was lost in the movement of her lips, not realizing that she had been speaking to him.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Hmm?” He snapped out of his daze. “Were you saying something?”

She smiled ruefully, amused at his behavior. He willed himself to concentrate. “My son is alive. My baby boy is not dead,” she rushed out in excitement. She was almost jumping in glee.

Gonzalo frowned and stepped back to really examine her. Was she alright? What was going on? Was her mind playing tricks on her? Had all these years of sickness finally taken their toll on her? Had she gone mad?

Maybe he had to call the witch back. She definitely did something wrong while treating his wife. But he did not want to hurt her feelings, so he asked carefully, “What do you mean, love? Our son has been dead for years.”

Daciana shook her head vigorously. “That is what I am saying. Our son is not dead. He is alive. I can feel it. I feel him. He is out there somewhere. Believe me, Gonzalo, our son is not dead.” She looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to believe her.

Gonzalo felt so weak and helpless. Just when he thought he had his wife back, she had to run mad because there was no other explanation for this madness. So, this is my punishment, he thought with despair. He looked at Daciana sadly. She looked a former shadow of herself, full of life and conviction. He did not want to snuff out the light in his wife’s eyes.

“Tell me you believe me,” Daciana whispered feverishly with his face in her hands. “Please.” Her voice was hardly a whisper as she looked him in the eyes.

Gonzalo smiled at her sadly as he took her hands in his palms. He had his wife back now, mad or sane. He would let nothing take her away from him again. A mad wife is better than a dying wife, he reasoned. He focused on her beautiful smile; committed every inch of her face to memory. How he longed to have this happy look on her face again. So, he willed himself to be stronger, took a deep breath, and gave her a dazzling smile.

“I believe you.”

On his way home from the meeting with the werewolves, Alarick ran into Grenada. Despite her fear, she still loved him deeply and cared for his well-being. Not knowing how he was faring was driving her crazy.

“How is Hausten doing?”

“He is looking good for now. There is nothing to worry about, dear.”

She sighed in relief. She did not know what she would do if anything happened to Hausten. “So, what are you going to do now?” she asked worriedly. “Sooner or later, everyone will know. This is not something you can hide.”

“I do not know yet. This is unfamiliar territory for us all, and I don’t know how to go about it. I don’t want to endanger my son’s life, but I really don’t know what to do.” Alarick sighed wearily, deep in thought. He looked at her pleadingly and continued, “I know this is too much to ask of you, but please, I need you to keep this to yourself until I figure this out. This is a delicate matter, and I need time to figure out what to do. As Dez Alec’s daughter especially, I know you are obliged to tell your father about this. But please, I beg of you, do not tell anyone yet. Please.”

“I won’t tell a soul about this. You have my word,” Grenada assured Alarick. “I care about him too much to put him at risk by telling anyone. You should know that.”

“Thank you,” Alarick whispered gratefully.

“Alright, I will be on my way now.”

Grenada turned to leave, but a thought struck her. Even though they were biding their time, they missed a vital point. Hausten could definitely not be turned anymore. That plan had been rendered useless with Hausten’s identity as a werewolf. What would happen now? This was very bad. She hurried towards Alarick, who was already on his way, and called out to him.

“Alarick! Alarick! Hold on!”

Alarick turned back to see Grenada running towards him. He wondered what was wrong.

“You forget something, Alarick. Hausten is to be turned in in the next two days. We know that is not going to be possible anymore. What is going to happen now? What are you going to say? What excuse will you give? How do we get out of this? I’m afraid anything you say or do will be suspicious,” she said worriedly.

Alarick was deep in thought. He had not considered that at all. This was just bad. What would he do now? How would he deflect Dez Alec and the council members? What believable excuse could he come up with? He had to think of something fast. This did not look good at all.

“Thank you, my dear. I had not thought about that. That will be difficult to maneuver. But I will come up with something. I will figure this out.”

“Alright. Do take care. My regards to Hausten.”

Alarick nodded, and they both went on their way.

Hausten’s situation troubled Alarick greatly. He pulled on his thoughts as he walked home, realizing that there was more to Hausten than seemed ordinary. The circumstances surrounding Hausten’s arrival were nothing ordinary. A werewolf ending up in vampire territory was not an everyday occurrence. He decided to ask Rue and Adolpha about Hausten. After all, they were the ones who found him. They were the keys to solving this mystery. With this resolve, he hurried back home. The faster they handle this case, the better for all of them.

Alarick got home and summoned his children immediately. “Rue. Adolpha.”

They both looked up to see their father approaching.

“Yes, Father,” they chorused.

“How is your brother?”

“He is alright, Father. He is asleep,” Adolpha answered.

“Good. Join me in my study, please. The both of you. Now.”

Rue and Adolpha looked at each other, wondering what was wrong.

“Rue, what is happening?”

“I have as much knowledge as you. But I bet it has something to do with Hausten.”

“I hope nothing goes wrong,” Adolpha glanced at her father’s hasty retreating figure and looked at Rue worriedly.

“Well, whatever it is, we are about to find out. Let’s go.”

They marched to Alarick’s study briskly and found their father pacing restlessly.

“You both know what we are facing, and we all know the odds are stacked against us. If Dez Alec finds out about this, who knows what he will do, let alone the werewolf community? This can lead to a full-blown war, and I am sure none of us want that. If we want to tackle this issue, we need to go back to the very beginning, when Hausten entered our lives. So, I ask you both, what happened the day you found Hausten?”

Rue and Adolpha glanced at each other to confirm what they already knew. Adolpha spoke first.

“We were hiding in the cave you left us at when a woman suddenly entered. We were surprised that she was able to enter because of the spell. I realize now that she could enter because she was harmless and needed help. We did not know who she was or what was happening because we were hiding as instructed. I remember hearing the woman crying and screaming. It seemed she was in a lot of pain. Her screams were so loud that we wanted to rush to her and see what we could do to help. But Rue reminded me of your instruction to stay in hiding until you came for us. So, I stayed put. I heard her leaving after a while.”

Rue continued, “Even when she left, we did not come out of hiding. The only reason we did was that we heard a baby cry. So, we came out to see if we heard correctly. It was Hausten crying. We wondered how he came to be there, but we guessed he had something to do with the woman. We could not leave him there all alone. So, we took him up and calmed him. We were expecting someone to come for him, or maybe the woman. But no one did. So, we held onto him until you arrived. You know the rest,” Rue concluded, looking at Adolpha, who nodded in confirmation.

Alarick was deep in thought. From the children’s tale, it was obvious Hausten came from a werewolf family, unbeknownst to him and his children. They had saved a baby from a lonely fate in the cave, thinking he was human, but it may not be understood this way. He was, after all, a werewolf.

“The woman in the cave, we do not know her. There is a chance that she may have returned and not found the cave as she was no longer in help. She probably thinks her son has disappeared. She must have given birth to him and left him in the cave to protect him from the war. We saw a helpless baby and decided to take him home and care for him as one of us. But I doubt the werewolves will see it this way. They may think we kidnapped a werewolf just to make him suffer. Our people may think we just wanted to flout the rules. This is not looking good from all angles at all.

To make matters worse, his people are beginning to sense him. A wolf’s call can never be mistaken. Hausten’s first turning alerted the werewolves to his existence. They can feel him. They sense him. They believe he is here. And they know the fate of any werewolf found on vampire territory.

We all know how relentless they can be, especially when they have cause to. Gonzalo felt his presence strongly at the council meeting, alerting Dez Alec to his existence. Dez may have ignored his ramblings as something out of madness, but we know that Gonzalo was right. There is a werewolf here. I do not doubt that they will be back. They won’t stop if they think one of their kind is in danger. I don’t know how to fix this,” Alarick concluded dejectedly.

They were quiet as they contemplated what to do. They did not want to start a war with the wolves or put Hausten’s life in danger. They thought long and hard when Rue thought of a solution.

“I just thought of something, Father. It’s a long shot, but I think it could work.”

“I’m listening.”

“The werewolves have heightened senses when they turn on a full moon. This is how they have that heightened bond and kinship. This is how they were able to sense Hausten. What I am proposing may seem a bit harsh, but it is the only thing I could come up with. I am saying that on every full moon, we make sure that Hausten does not turn in the forest as he did before. That is very risky. Let him turn in the dungeon instead.” Alpha opened her mouth to interrupt Rue, but he told her to see where he was coming from.

“Hold on, Adolpha. Let me explain. I am not saying we lock him up. Just every full moon, he turns in the dungeon rather than in the open. It is the perfect solution. The dungeon is underground. It is the perfect hiding place. No one will be able to see him, and the werewolves will not sense him. Think about it.”

They pondered on this. With no other possible solution, they eventually agreed.

“I don’t like the idea of my son in the dungeon. But I will do anything to keep him safe, even if it implies placing him in the dungeon. What do you think, Adolpha?”

“I don’t like the idea either, Father. But if it will keep him safe, then so be it. Besides, it’s not a permanent thing, right?”

“Oh, definitely not. I won’t put my son through that all his life. It’s just something for the time being until we come up with a better solution. This would have to work for now.”

“What about the council, Father? They are expecting you to turn Hausten now. How do we get out of this?” Rue asked.

“I have thought about this. I don’t want to appear suspicious, so I will just go back to my rule for turning. I will tell the council that I have decided to wait for his 18th birthday before I turn him. I will explain to them that I don’t feel uncomfortable breaking my rule for Hausten. I want him to enjoy his remaining years before I turn him. I just have to be very convincing to the council. There is nothing else I can do.”

He looked to his children, and they nodded in agreement.

“Let us just hope everything works out,” Adolpha said wistfully.

“Everything will be alright, I promise. I will not allow anything to happen to Hausten,” Rue vowed to his father and sister.

Back home, Grenada mourned what she saw to be the potential end of her relationship with Hausten. She was so devastated. It hurt so bad. The one person she fell in love with turned out to be a werewolf. How could this happen? Why was she so unlucky? She could not stop thinking about Hausten.

“Why me?! Why?! What did I do to deserve this?!” she cried hysterically. “What have I done?” she whispered dejectedly. Just when she thought she would have a good life with her betrothed, all her hopes had been dashed.

She was aware of the bitter war between the vampires and the werewolves, well, her people and his people, in this case. Apart from that, it was an abomination for a vampire to mix with a werewolf. It was unheard of. An unspeakable terror. And she and Hausten would definitely not be the first to break the rule. She broke down in tears again.

She could not help but think about her dashed hopes and dreams. Their betrothal was nothing but a sham from the very beginning without any of them knowing. She had never felt anything as intense as this, and he had the audacity to turn out to be a werewolf. How dare he?! Who did he think he was to toy with her emotions like this? She had not yet been turned because she was waiting for her 18th birthday as well. But what was the point now? All was lost. She was really looking forward to her 18th birthday, but that turned to dust.

She saw her life as one big black hole. There was no joy or happiness. She was no longer living. She was simply existing. She tried all she could, but she couldn’t hate Hausten. She just couldn’t bring herself to do that.

“Why are you doing this to me, Hausten? Why? What have I done to you? I love you and hurt me. I want to forget you, but you are always on my mind. Why Hausten? Why can’t you just let me go? Why?”

She cried herself to sleep.

Hausten walked around the house scared and confused. It had been a week since he turned, and he had not stepped out of the house. Adolpha had kept him company on the days it seemed like the confusion was beginning to take stronger roots. Hausten knew that he would have to come out at some point because people were beginning to ask of him. He did not want to see any of these people; only one person was on his mind, Grenada.

“What if she hates me, Adolpha?” he asked one day as they both trained outside.

Rue, who was listening in on their conversation, said, “You will find another woman, a fine werewolf woman.”

“Shut up, Rue. Tact has never been one of your strong suits, but I would assume that you would show a little kindness to our brother who is struggling.” Rue nodded. Adolpha was rude, but she was right. Hausten did not need his jokes today; he needed his support.

“I think you should try to talk to her,” Adolpha said

“I am scared that she will see me and try to run away,” Hausten said.

“If she does, do not chase after her. Let her go and try another day again. The last thing you want to be seen as is predatory,” Rue said

Adolpha and Hausten looked at him with surprise. Rue was known for a lot of things; sensible conversations were not one. Rue shrugged and said, “I do not chase after Cassie when she is mad. She needs to cool down, and I’ll talk to her later.”

“Good thing,” Adolpha said and looked at Hausten.

“I cannot go to her house,” Hausten said.

“Now you are just making excuses because you have never visited her at her home, the both of you have always met at the bloom fields.”

Hausten nodded. He was making excuses because he was afraid of the rejection that may follow. He missed Grenada terribly, but she was hurt and scared, and he did not want to do anything to make that worse.

He walked away from his siblings, went indoors, changed into something better, and started heading to the bloom fields. As he walked through the community, people who had not seen him in a while accosted him to ask him where he had been, and he simply replied that he was ill. It was not a lie; confusion and fear could be seen as an illness too.

Hausten got to the bloom fields, and right there on the bench, sat Grenada, alone.

Maybe she doesn’t hate me completely, he thought hopefully.

He plucked a flower and started walking into the fields.

“Grenada! Grenada!” he called. She turned to look at him and backed away. His next steps were met with some restrictions. The flowers had grown into a fence and blocked him from her.

“Witches,” he groaned.

“Grenada!” he yelled again and tried to get through the weaving. The flowers jumbled up into a ball-like structure, rolled at him, and threw him off the fields. Hausten landed on the floor, dust covering his face.

Grenada smiled.

“Let him in,” she said softly, and the field went from a violent fighter to a flower field again.

Hausten walked up to Grenada and tried to touch her. She ignored him and walked briskly.

“Grenada, please. Just hear me out, I beg you. Please.” Still, she ignored him.

“Grenada,” he growled. He was getting frustrated. He caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

“Let go of me, Hausten.” She looked him dead in the eye.

“No. Not until you hear what I have to say,” he glared back unflinchingly.

“You’re hurting me, Hausten.” She was beginning to get scared. Maybe he had truly changed.

Hausten immediately let go of her arm in shock. Rue had warned him. He tried to apologize, but he could see that she was afraid of him.

“No! Don’t come near me. Stay away from me.”

Hausten kept beating himself up. He was already walking on thin ice with her. Now he had made it worse, and she was scared of him. Could things get any worse?

“Grenada, I am really sorry. Please believe me. You know me. I would never hurt you. Please believe me. I am sorry. Please!” He was on the verge of tears. He could not imagine his life without Grenada. He could not stomach that thought. He begged until she relented. She knew deep down that he would not hurt her, and she forgave him.

“I would never hurt you. Even as a wolf, I can never hurt you. Please believe me.”

“You are a wolf, Hausten.”

“And I have spent the last few days confused and scared of what I am. I do not know what else to do, Grenada. You have to believe me.”

“I believe you.”

“So why are you running.”

“I do not know, Hausten. I am scared too.”

“Of me?” Hausten asked, his voice breaking.

Grenada could not bear to see the pain in his eyes; she walked closer to him. It had been a rough one week—a rougher one without him.

He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. She felt so exposed with his gaze on her like that. She felt like he was staring into her soul. He placed one arm on her waist and the other on her cheek and drew her closer. It lit a fire in him. Holding her like this after what felt like a lifetime felt like water in a desert. He knew he hadn’t lost her completely.

For the first time in weeks, she felt alive again. Standing in Hausten’s arms filled her with warmth and hope for the future. She belonged in Hausten’s arms, and she believed it to her very core.

“I have longed to hold you in my arms again, my love. Tell me I am not the only one. Tell me you still love me because I do. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I will never stop. Tell me you haven’t forgotten our love.”

She melted in his arms. She was defenseless against him. How could she resist him? If this was what abomination felt like, then so be it. She would die in it a thousand times over.

He bent over her and brought his lips down on hers; the flowers grew around them and formed a covering, for unless a betrothal had happened, intimacy was forbidden. They sat down on the bench together after a kiss that seemed like it was going to take an eternity. She put her head on his shoulder and hoped that she was doing the right thing.