THE REFUGE
SELLY ARQUENE
I take one last look at Charles, who is passed out on the bed, completely drained, all twisted. I imagine the reason that left him so tired he didn’t even go to dinner. I tiptoe near the door of our room, pulling back just a bit the curtain at the entrance, looking at Dior sitting by the door, holding a bottle, talking with Chester.
I know Chester is waiting for me, that he came to get me and take me to Spook’s trailer. I found out the second I got to the wagon door and saw him serious, staring at me beside Dior. Dior ordered me to change quickly, since Chester had been waiting for me for a long time. And as for me, he’ll keep waiting.
I close the curtain and go near my bed, kneeling down and crawling under it. I push the wooden hatch underneath, opening it carefully to avoid making noise. Then, I slide inside, until my hands press on the dirt, falling under the wagon. I sit, putting my head and arms back into the hole just to pull the lid and close it gently, making as little sound as possible.
I crawl, bent, under the wagon, coming out at the other end, and the moment I stand up, I run as fast as I can. My heart pounds, the cold wind hitting my face, and my braid unraveling because of the run. Still, I don’t stop; I only speed up, holding the hem of my dress and escaping behind the tents.
I smile mischievously, knowing there is only one place in this whole circus where I will be safe. My steps slow as I approach the cages, and I can already hear King Arthur’s roar, who certainly smelled me because of the strong wind passing by me.
I walk on tiptoes, bringing my fingers to the key inside my dress pocket, looking back to make sure no one saw me run away. King Arthur purrs, rubbing his body against the bars as soon as he sees me, and I laugh, putting my index finger in front of my face for him to be quiet.
I’m already holding the padlock in my hand to open it when the sound of something falling comes from a few meters ahead, followed by Belmonte’s loud cursing. Instantly, I drop the padlock, run to the side of the cage, and crouch, hiding.
“Wanna die, you son of a bitch?!” I see Belmonte slap a boy’s head, cursing him. “Move it, princesses, what are you waiting for, an invitation to work?!”
My chest tightens, and I curl up even more as more men march behind Belmonte, all carrying wooden boxes and stopping near the bear’s cage. I’m confused, not understanding, when I see Belmonte open it, stepping aside and pushing a water barrel.
“Move it, you can store this shit already!” he says, nodding and jumping out of the cage.
I walk slowly behind Arthur’s cage, hiding at the other end and watching what they do. The men enter the cage and carry the crates to what looks like a hole in the cage floor. The poor bear is injured from the beating Dior gave him, staying curled up in the corner, barely moving while men come in and out of his cage.
The baby elephant is agitated because of the commotion near his cage and his mother’s, raising his trunk and releasing a loud sound.
“Shit!” Belmonte growls. “Shut up, you stupid animal!”
He kicks the cage, frightening the baby even more, which makes its mother angry, her large body thrashing in the cage and making a louder noise echo.
“Shut the damn mouth of that cursed animal, Belmonte...” a man says angrily to him, dropping the box inside the bear’s cage, while the elephants get more agitated and loud sounds come out of their trunks.
“Shut up, damn it!” Belmonte kicks the cage again, but that only makes things worse.
I know Mimi; she’s nervous and scared, just wanting to protect her baby. And him kicking the cage will only make her baby more afraid, and she will become more protective, which will lead her to slam her body hard against the iron bars.
“Damn it, just do your fucking job and shut that damn animal’s mouth!” The man leaves the bear’s cage and goes up to Belmonte, staring at him. “Oh, shut them up, or I will...”
My body freezes when I see the gleam of the gun in his hand as he pulls it from his waist. The loud sound explodes as he pulls the trigger, aiming at Mimi’s head, between her eyes.
“LET ME GO...” My mother’s loud screams make both Maya and me turn, looking toward the house while remaining hidden in the bush. “Let me go...”
A man grabs my mother’s hair and drags her across the lawn. Behind him, another man with cold eyes brings my wounded father, his face hurt and bleeding, and pushes him against a tree near our room. His arm raises, and there is something strange in his hand, which he aims at my father’s head.
When it fires, a horrible sound makes my whole body freeze, and my eyes widen, fixing on my father’s body as it slips down the tree and falls to the ground, blood flowing from his head.
“VICTOORRR...” my mother screams, struggling.
Tears wash my face, and I freeze, the pain ripping through my chest as I recall my father lying on the grass after being shot in the head, while I watch Mimi collapse.
A quick tug at my waist startles me, and I struggle as I’m spun around and meet a pair of silver eyes fixed on me.
“It’s me, little bear...” He holds my face, making me look at him. “You’re safe...”
My body shakes, and my eyes close because of the sound of the second shot. My fingers clutch his arms, and I press my face against his chest, crying in pain.
Mom screams with so much pain, and at the same time, a light turns on, shining over her body as flames begin to consume her, after the cold-eyed man throws a match on her dress.
I can smell my mother’s flesh burning while the rope tightens around her neck, hanging her from the tree. I hear my sister’s screams as she struggles on the ground beneath a man on top of her. I can feel everything consuming me, and I cry, terrified, among the bushes. My mother’s gaze, amid the fire consuming her body, fixes one last time in the direction where I am.
“RUN, SELLY...” My mother’s last scream is loud, echoed with so much pain before she lets go of the rope around her neck.
I stand up immediately, turning as fast as I can, feeling tears stream down my face as I do what Mom asked.
I hear screams behind me, heavy breathing from the men chasing me, but I don’t stop. However, when something hits my leg and I feel a burning sensation, along with blood running down my ankle, I fall.
I roll, sliding through mud and dirt, having only darkness as my company when I stop at the slope below, near the road.
“Mom...” I whisper through tears, my eyelids opening, feeling so much pain in my body, as if a thousand needles were piercing me. The more I move, the deeper they dig into my skin. “Mom...” I call to her, wanting her with me, wanting her to take these needles out of my body, which have wrapped around me.
The pain grows, and crying is all I have left in this darkness. I remain still, too weak to move when a light shines on me. I only stay still, crying, curled up.
“I think she’s dead,” says a man’s voice from the top of the slope I rolled down.
“If the fall didn’t kill her, probably falling on the fence did. Look at the wires; they’re all wrapped around her.” The light goes out as another man speaks. “Come on, that one’s for the vultures.”
My eyes slowly close, and I feel the wires hurting me. A great pain takes over my entire body, cutting me. I don’t have Maya anymore, I don’t have Mom anymore, only darkness remains around me.
“Oh, my God, what did they do to you, my child...” The soft voice makes me open my eyes, and I look at the bright sunlight shining on a woman’s face. “You’re alive! Oh, my God, you’re alive!”
I cry with more pain as I recall every second etched into my mind from the worst night of my life, while the pain now consumes me and uncontrollable fear swallows me. I curl up, still letting my face bury in Mr. Clown’s chest, remembering Bel pulling me from that roadside, all tangled in barbed wire, unable to keep my eyes open. I summon the image of my mother’s body swinging in that tree as she was hanged, and I cry even more.
“It’s okay, it’s okay...” The hoarse voice above my head comes out softly, and his face rests beside my ear as he
holds me tightly in his arms. “You’re safe, I won’t let them hurt you, I won’t...”