Chapter 33 Because I said so
Ruel’s POV
I glance at Scarface's letter for the umpteenth time.
Great Alpha King Andre, I write in fear for my life. Presently commander Ruel has set his eyes on me with evil intent.
He speaks ill of the throne and is no longer worthy to lead Vahl's warriors. Please grant my request and I'll be able to update you more on this.
Loyally yours,
Scarface Nadh
With a sigh I proceed with pretending to work like I've been doing for the past two hours, but the truth is… I’m listening to Ira’s angry breathing by my door.
Surprisingly the sound keeps my own fury at bay.
She hasn’t moved from the entrance of my study.
Not one step.
She also hasn't said a word… not since I ordered her to follow me after the morning warm-up.
Ira has been standing there for two hours, clutching the stupid glass of water I ordered her to bring. I told her to stand there until I called her.
I haven't called her. The moment I do, she'll leave.
Krist stirs in my head, but I furiously keep him shoved down. He messed up big time. Made me look like a fool who can't control his dick.
I shuffle papers just to stop myself from glancing towards the door again. Shame burns under my skin every time I remember last night.
I wasn’t supposed to lose control. I wasn’t supposed to drag her into my room. I wasn’t supposed to scare her like that.
And yet I did. The effect her scent had on me was so instant I could barely think straight.
But she looked scared. And I would never do that to her. I will never hurt anyone like that. Yet knowing I almost did hurt her fills me with shame.
“Commander.” My chest tightens at the sound of her voice.
I glance up, my eyes meeting hers. “Yes Ira.”
Her face is stormy, her eyes sharp. The cup of water sits in her hand like a weapon. She's gripping it so hard I know she won't hesitate to smash it on my skull.
“You called me?” she snaps, unable to hide her frustration any longer. “I've been standing here for more than an hour.” She fumes.
“Then sit,” I say calmly, turning back to the file I'm working on.
“No.” Her tone slices the air. “Since you don’t need me, send me out.”
I lift my gaze again. “Sit.”
Whatever it is the nurses put in that brown powder seems to not be that effective after all. I have to deliberately tear my gaze away from those eyes so as not to get lost in them.
“Send me out.” She shifts the cup to her other hand, her fingers tightening around it. “I’m not comfortable alone with you.”
The words hit harder than I expect them to. And as though finally listening, I feel Krist flinch inside me.
I force myself to look stoic but on the inside the shame I’ve been holding down claws at my spine. I push it down harder. I won’t show weakness. Not in front of her.
Not in front of anyone.
“Well,” I say, harshly picking up my pen, “You’re not leaving. So stop complaining and sit down.”
She doesn’t move but stands there with her jaw clenched like she’s barely keeping the cup from flying across the room.
“You’re unbelievable,” she mutters. “You order me around then get offended when I speak.”
“I’m not offended.”
“Who cares if you are or not… pervert.” she mutters the bitter word under her breath.
I shift in my seat. “I said sit.”
“I said no.”
My jaw ticks but I control myself. “If you argue one more time…”
“You’ll what?” she challenges, stepping forward, the cup of water slamming down hard on the table.
Clear liquid splashes on some papers. “Lock me again? Threaten me? Try to force yourself on me?”
My pen snaps in half. Her eyes widen for a second, but she doesn’t back down.
I exhale slowly. “If you hate being here so much, then leave.”
Ira freezes, her mouth opens but not a word leaves.
I tap the table with an angry finger. “Go on, get out.”
She swallows.
“And once you do, our deal is off.” I say, leaning back.
Anger floods her eyes, her nostrils flare. And I know she wants to say something else but she just can't.
“Why do you even need me here?” She says instead. “You clearly don't need me to spy as you have several people reporting to you daily.”
I nod, impressed that she's noticed.
“You are to do as I say, no questions asked.”
“Even when you just make me stand around like an ugly decoration?” She adds.
I stare at her as the answer to her question sits heavy in my mouth.
But how do I tell her that her scent keeps me sane?
That her presence keeps my wolf from breaking loose?
That she calms me in ways nothing else can?
But those words would have to be ripped out of me with a silver knife before anyone ever hears them. So instead I lift the next file and sign it without looking at her.
“You’re here because I said so,” I say lazily. “That should be enough.”
Her breath shudders but she doesn't respond.
From my peripheral I see her pacing back to the door.
I flip the page, getting more work done.
A frustrated sigh slips from her lips but I silently get more work done.
Her pacing increases the angrier she gets. My eyes flick up without meaning to.
She’s beautiful when she’s furious.
Krist huffs, and I push him further down.
Minutes stretch and with it comes heavy silence. Even Ira stops pacing, leaning on the wall.
I'm not sure when but she does slide down to the floor, sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees.
She's not taking the chair simply because she doesn't trust me… she's scared of me and I can't blame her.
With a deep sigh I mutter, “I’m sorry,” The words leave my mouth without me lifting my gaze.
“For last night,” I add. The words leave my throat with a lot of effort. “I shouldn’t have touched you. I shouldn’t have…”
I cut myself off. I hate how raw… how weak… my voice is becoming. “I went too far.”
I wait silently for a response. When nothing comes, not even a scoff, I glance at her.
Her head is tilted to the side, her lips parted the smallest bit, her lashes resting peacefully on her cheeks.
And my stupid heart does that thing again… that strange burning pull.
I quietly rise up from my seat, walking over to her and squatting, shrinking the distance between us.
My hand moves before I can stop it and I touch her cheek. Soft and warmer… a feeling I'm getting addicted to.
I know my fingers are lingering a little too long but I don't pull away.
“She’s trouble,” I whisper to myself, my gaze dropping to her lips.
“And goddess I want her.”