Chapter 15 How did we get to this?
Ruel’s POV
"Mate."
Krist’s demanding voice claws at my eardrums.
Mate!
He barks again, the strength in his tone shaking the edges of my thoughts. I barely slept last night.
Determined to avoid the bond as much as I could, I'd also avoided going near the servants quarter. But that only made things worse.
Krist hasn't stopped echoing the same tormenting word over and over again. I grit my teeth and keep my back straight, refusing to let my frustration show.
Elric stands in front of me rambling about something. I pick out enough to know he's trying to get us to finalize a plan but then I can't remember the plan or the reason we're making it.
More like the loudest sound in my head is Krist’s insistent voice.
“Are we going to do as told, or we stall until the Alpha King listens to us?” Elric’s voice slips through the chaos in my mind,
How did we get to this?
Mate! She is close. Go to mate. Claim mate.
“Fucking shut up,” I hiss internally.
“Ruel?” Elric’s brows pull together. “What did you say?”
I blink up at him, realizing I must have said that out loud. Or maybe my face shifted?
Doesn’t matter.
With a deep inhale I force the unwavering commander that I am back onto the surface.
If I'm ever going to retain my sanity, I'll have to ignore my wolf.
“Huh?” I answer, pretending I didn’t catch Elric's question.
He takes a step closer to the chair I'm currently sitting in, searching my eyes. “Are you okay?”
No. Not even close.
But I nod with a brief cough. “I’m fine.”
“You keep spacing out,” Elric says softly. “You’ve been doing it all day. And earlier… when I came into the office…” He stops himself but the look he gives me is too knowing.
“Need to see mate,” Krist whispers, softer this time, like he’s pleading. Like it hurts to be separated from her.
But that's bullshit. Some days ago we didn't know she existed... And we were fine!
I clench my jaw. “I am fine. And no, I don’t need rest,” I cut in before Elric can continue. “We have work to do.”
He sighs but nods. “Alright. Then let’s talk about our next step with the Alpha King.” he says looking me in the eye. “No more spacing out.”
“If we outright refuse to fight the East, the Alpha King will view it as rebellion. We can’t risk that.” His voice is thoughtful. “But we can stall.”
“How?”
Elric shrugs lightly. “By being unresponsive. Or… vague. We send a letter but won't respond to his until he gives us a reasonable response. We won't push but we won’t obey either.”
I look down at the files in front of us. Mine has been sitting untouched on the table for a while. “You’re suggesting complete silence.”
“Yeah, I mean he needs us to fight this war.” he says.
Krist impatiently growls inside me with annoyance.
“Mate!”
I push him aside enough to focus, despite him aggressively clawing at my mind.
“And if he doesn’t answer the next letter either?”
“Then we wait more,” Elric answers bluntly. “Time benefits us, not him.”
“Does it really. What if he makes us wait a month… or more? What if we lose more people before his response. What if we are the ones to suffer the next food poisoning or poor healthcare?”
For a moment, Elric keeps quiet then he sighs.
“That doesn't mean your way isn't the best option right now." I continue. "Although cowardly, I believe it'll get the job done. That's if he doesn't completely cut off supplies, making life miserable for us.”
Elric nods then speaks again. “Lets say he confronts you instead of answering us. What do you do? Are you ready to go against him?”
He looks at me with the rare hint of fear. He is right to be scared. What I'm about to do is undeniable disrespect. Alpha King Andre can either listen or imprison me.
And so I don't answer. Because we both know the truth… I will never go against the Alpha King's command. But I can at least try to be stubborn enough to help my men at the base..
“Mate,”
I frown, pushing Krist further into the back of my mind. I usually don't risk this as it can result in Krist refusing to come to the surface when I need him but he's really frustrating me right now.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
My head jerks up to find Elric watching me closely.
I've found my mate.
There's barely any wolf smell on her so I feel like she's hiding something,
I feel sick when I've not inhaled her scent in a day.
My wolf is going crazy.
I don't know how to do this… how to have a mate.
I don't want her, yet I can't get her out of my mind.
I say none of it.
“No,” I mutter. “But I need to go for a run.”
Elric releases a breath as though he knew I'd say such. “Fine, don’t get lost in your head alright. And…”
I stop, looking behind me, one hand on the doorknob.
“When you do want to talk about it, I'll be here.” he says.
“Hm,” I murmur, striding out.
The cold night air hits my face and I exhale, making room for Krist in my mind.
“Mate is hurting. Mate misses us.”
Goddess he's never like this.
“She doesn’t even like us,” I curse under my breath, stepping onto the forest path.
“Mate wants us still.”
“You are acting dumb right now. Krist, we are not accepting this bond. I'll find a way to rightfully break this so we can both have peace.”
But Krist only snarls stubbornly. “NO!”
I march deeper into the woods, letting the scent of pine and soil fill my lungs instead of the mad craving for Ira’s scent.
Anything to drown out the memory of her pale face, her shaking hands, the hatred in her eyes…
The muscles under my jaw twitch, every instinct screaming at me to turn around, go back and find her.
“I’m not doing this,” I force out. “We must reject her.”
“Give me your form!” Krist commands and the alpha tone he always adopts bursts forth.
“No!” I grit out.
“Why?!” He sounds mad now.
“Krist stop! We spoke about this. You don't take control if I'm not comfortable with it!” I seethe, forcing my growing claws to retreat.
“Then lets go to mate. One sniff, that's all. Ruel!”
The sound of voices drift through the trees, making me stop.
I crouch down behind a tree as Krist grows still, our instinct taking over.
Stealthily I move closer, stopping when the voices get louder, their voices growing clearer.