Chapter 124 A broken heart 1
Ruel's POV
My tongue feels swollen, my thoughts slow and static. A sharp ache rakes its way through my skull when I suddenly become aware of the light shining through my closed lids.
The cold wall numbs my cheek and I try to move but the rattle of chains causes my eyes to snap open.
Hot metals bite into my wrists, burning my torn and swollen flesh whenever I move.
With my heavy eyes closed, I lie still, listening as the chains grow quiet again, listening as my rough breathing fills the dark.
Then I force my eyes open, bracing myself.
The sun rays don't feel as fierce anymore but the brightness of it does steal my attention for a second. That's until my gaze flickers to the opposite end of the small cell, my ears picking up a sound.
Elric sits directly in front of me, his knees slightly raised, his elbows on his knees, his free hands hanging loose, but there is nothing relaxed about him.
His shoulders are pinched tight, his jaw set into a hard line. I can tell he's barely holding himself back… And if that death glare means anything then it's obvious he feels like doing something terrible.
“I should punch you right back into unconsciousness,” he says, his voice thick with hate and hurt.
I swallow, grimacing when what feels like tiny stones scrape all the way down my throat.
“Did they get her?” I whisper, my heartbeat loud in my ears.
His nostrils flare and for a brief moment he stares at me like he cannot believe I just said what I said. Then he leans forward slowly, his eyes ablaze.
“I cannot believe you're still asking about that deceiver?!” He seethes. “She almost killed you, Ruel. She looked you in the eye and blasted you like some ragdoll. You coughed out so much blood I thought I was going to lose you.”
“I…”
“No! Your skull cracked open, Ruel. You could have died. I could have lost you. And your first thought is whether they caught her.”
Slowly, with a burning ache in my ribs, I push up onto one hand as the room tilts hard to the left and nausea rolls up my throat.
“Just…” I grit my teeth until the world steadies. “Just tell me.”
Elric exhales roughly. “No, they didn't. She ran into the forest with that imposter, Bukasvad. The alpha king’s trackers are still hunting, but they’ve found nothing yet.”
Relief hits me and before I can control it, I sigh weakly, shamelessly pleased. My eyes close on their own.
She is alive.
When I open them again, Elric is watching me with something close to disgust.
“You are unbelievable,” he says softly. “After everything, you still worry about her safety. I should have let Omar take your head in the hall. At least then you would not be sitting here breaking yourself over a sempyr.”
“Stop.” My voice, although firm, breaks on the word.
“You kept her secret from me.” Elric continues. “From all of us. You knew how deadly she is and you allowed her live with us. If you had told me from the beginning, I would have reminded you why sempyrs are feared. Why you don't keep a bond with such evil creatures!”
“Weren't you the one encouraging me to give in to the bond?” I mutter.
“With a stray, yes… not a damn sempyr. They are the most deceitful beings on earth. They do not love. They take everything until they are done and when they are, you'd be left a shadow of yourself.”
“Stop,” I say again, but my voice is weaker now. I can hear it myself. I'm not defiant anymore, I've got no strength for denial. I'm just… tired.
Because I know, beyond doubt, that Ira tried to kill me.
I wanted to save her from Bukasvad… how stupid of me to think she was unaware of her own powers. When she turned around, she didn’t look confused, she didn’t look scared. She looked furious, hateful, and that anger was directed at me.
That’s the part that won’t leave me alone.
How perfectly she'd deceived me. The kiss, the sex… I can only imagine how disgusted she truly was, plotting how she'd eventually escape.
My chest feels tight, like something is pressing down on it. Hell, I want to be angry.
Anger would make this simple. But I’m not. The hurt within me is just too great for me to register anything else. I'm so pained… and embarrassed. Because a part of me still wants to defend her, still wants someone to tell me there was a reason.
There probably was. But it doesn’t change what she did.
My throat burns, swallowing hurts my throat, my ribs ache every time I breathe, and it makes everything feel heavier.
I hate that this is what breaks me… not the wound, not almost dying… but the fact that it was her.
Why did she have to be the one?
I would have taken a blade for her without thinking. Yet what she did was like holding a sword to my neck.
My shoulders fall as it all hits me. At first I don't feel it but when I do I wipe the tear away fast, angry at myself. But that doesn't stop the agonizing rush of more tears.
Feeling way too ashamed to keep my head up, I let it drop as my shoulders shake in a quiet sob.
Silence falls and all I can hear are my sniffles. It barely lasts thirty seconds but long after I'm done crying, I still don't lift my head.
When I eventually do, confusion flickers across Elric's face.
He looks like he does not know what to do with this version of me, this broken thing in chains instead of the man who leads warriors to war.
I drag my fingers through my hair and grip hard at the roots, needing the excruciating pain to keep me from drowning in my thoughts.
“I’ve barely healed you completely, please stop.” Krist whispers, his voice just as broken as I feel. “Moreover, something doesn't add up.” He adds.
Elric frowns, sitting straighter now. “Ruel, you took a nasty blow to the back of your head. The healers said another hit like that could cause you brain damage. Pulling at your hair would probably tear open the stitc…”
“FUCKKKKK!” The shout tears out of me and echoes down the prison hall as I jump to my feet and slam my fist into the wall over and over, the chains cutting deeper into my skin while pain shoots up my arm and useless blood streaks across the stone.
“Calm down!” Elric rushes forward and grabs my wrist mid-swing, pulling hard enough that my shoulder shifts and bright spots flash across my vision.
I turn on him, the raw anger within me blurring everything. My free hand lifts to hit him but he doesn’t move.
“Don't do it, Ruel.” Krist growls. It's the first time he's protective of Elric and it makes me wonder just how messed up I must be.