Chapter 30 : The Dandelion On Your Shirt

With the enthusiasm left over from yesterday's deal, I woke up early today. So as to save myself from being hit by Gerard's big bag or being chased by his crazy horse. Err, I mean the one riding his crazy horse.

I saw that it was still dark outside and the large clock on the south side of the watchtower showed four minutes past ten. Even though it was almost an hour earlier than the usual training time, I didn't see Gerard in his bed. Though I knew he didn't have a patrol shift tonight. Without wasting any more time, I got ready with my shoes and sneaked out of the room, hoping to find Gerard on the field.

It was completely quiet outside. There were a few troops guarding the gates and a few others could be seen in the room at the top of the watchtower with the yellow lights on, exposing three people discussing something they thought was important. I didn't see any of my classmates at all and that fact made me nervous. Furthermore, I saw no sign of Gerard anywhere.

My attention went straight to the stables. I noticed that Gerard was very fond of his horses, so if he wasn't seen in the field, that meant he was with his horse. There was no way he was going to approach Mr. Wymond. He didn't look like the sort of son who, if he had trouble sleeping, would go to his father and spend the whole night together.

Unwilling to look like an intruder, I walked leisurely across the field, trying to convince myself that I was invisible. I passed halfway smoothly as no troops crossed paths with me even until I reached the end of the field. My presence was only realized when I had only taken a few steps away from the field, as if my invisibility ability could only activate when my feet stepped on the grass.

"Hey, there! Who are you? What are you doing at this hour?", someone asked while shining a dazzling flashlight beam at me.

The man's heavy, deep voice managed to make the hairs along my skin stand up and I felt my heart rise up to my throat.

I slowly turned around, facing the increasingly dazzling flashlight beam as it moved closer.

"Oh you're that girl!"

"Who?" the other asked, his voice cracking in my ears.

"You know, *Gerard's girl*. The one who has to run from Gerard on his horse every morning."

"Ah, yes. I know. Well then, keep up the good work!"

They just left, going back to the watchtower.

Wait, what did they call me? Gerard's girl? And what is this? Why was I suddenly feeling so nervous?

I shook my head a few times, dismissed the turmoil in my chest and continued on my way to the stables that looked so quiet. The stables are the most spacious enclosed place in The Vigilante Union. Naturally, because the number of horses here was roughly equal to the number of people here.

When I tried to open the stable door gate, it was locked. I tried pulling it several times, but the result was still the same. I took a few steps back as I gazed at the large wooden door in front of me, wondering where Gerard was at this moment, when my spirit was on fire. Rather than waste the fire that was already burning inside me, I decided to warm up on my own. Running around the field, which was many times the size of a soccer field, was enough to satisfy my burning desire this morning.

I completed one full lap and was already out of breath. I decide to pause at the point where I started. Near the stables. I can feel clearly as the cold dawn air enters through my nose and fills my lungs. It doesn't feel good. My nose seemed to be numb from the coldness of the air so I couldn't smell anything. There was only a cold sensation on my nose's palate. Don't ask how it felt inside my chest.

I breathed but didn't feel any oxygen coming in. This time I tried manual breathing, feeling and organizing each inhale and exhale that I did. The sound of the bushes near the horse training area caught my attention from my breathing. I gasped and stood up immediately when I saw who was now standing no more than six meters in front of me. It was Gerard. His presence should have made me happy that I didn't have to wait any longer for him or look for him all over the camp. But what arose in my mind was curiosity.

I'm sure I wasn't wrong to see Gerard coming out of the bushes and thorny fences that divide The Vigilante Union's training area from the forest. The few leaves from the bushes on Gerard's shirt and pants were proof enough to answer my doubts. My only question was, where was he?

I looked at him who seemed to be out of breath and was also looking at me a little surprised, then looked at the bushes and forest behind Gerard. Perhaps he had just come from the forest? But what for?

"You're early?", he scolded, managing to get my attention.

My eyes returned to him and I nodded hesitantly, "I just finished running a full lap."

Gerard looked calm. He even cleared the leaves of the bushes casually, as if convinced I wouldn't ask about it. And damn, he was right.

My tongue felt numb enough to utter a few words asking about it. It's like I've traumatized myself asking Gerard personal questions. The last time I asked him about his family relationship, it ended with me being chased by a horse.

I was invited to run one more lap on the pretext that he didn't believe I had run a full lap. Even though I showed him how breathless I was, he still insisted that he hadn't seen me run. If he had nine lives like a cat, I would have killed him eight times and left him with one.

Having completed the first lap, it didn't make the second lap any easier. Just halfway through, my footwork began to stagger, as if there was an iron ball tied to each of my legs. It seemed that the same thing was happening to Gerard who was running ahead of me. Even though I lowered my running speed, the distance between us wasn't much different. It even felt like we were getting closer. I could even see the movement of his shoulder blades which were covered by a moss green plain t-shirt.

To distract the fatigue in my legs, I hypnotized myself to keep staring at the regular movement of Gerard's shoulder blades. For a while I managed to maintain my focus on the up and down movement, until finally something furry caught my eye. It was on the corner of Gerard's shoulder. A dandelion. My eyes widened in surprise as a flash of my memories back home when my family was all intact appeared in my brain's projection.

As a graceful woman, my mother taught the beauty of nature to her only daughter, me. Unfortunately, her daughter was more interested in her father's activities. In her eyes, what her mother called beautiful was boring and unchallenging.

Yes, I regret that. It would have been nice if I had listened to my mother's words. Maybe, just maybe, I could have seen the world more beautifully. Because my mother always taught me to see the world in terms of beauty. No matter how bad things were, my mom always managed to see the beautiful side.

One time I was invited by my mother to make a door decoration out of dandelions. Since my father refused to let me help fix the kitchen, I was forced to go with my mother. Arriving at the field full of dandelions, I saw a frog with a bright green color and blue eyes. I screamed with excitement and immediately chased after it, ignoring my mother's call telling me not to chase it.

After successfully getting the frog, my hands began to burn and itch violently. Apparently the frog was poisonous and the mucus it produced made the skin on my hands blister like it was on fire. My mother began to treat me with her homemade concoctions and gave me her gentle advice.

To ease my upset, instead of cursing the poisonous frog, my mother asked me to see how beautiful the shape of my wound was. No matter how hard I tried, all I could see was the shape of my brother's vomit as a baby and it didn't look beautiful at all. But my mother insisted that it was beautiful.

If even a wound could be seen as beautiful, I wondered what kind of world my mother lived in. I wanted to live in it too.

Preoccupied with my daydreams about dandelions and my mother, I was slow to respond when Gerard suddenly turned his body to face me, so that I crashed right into his chest. Gerard, who wasn't expecting to be hit that close to me, lost his balance and fell backwards so that he fell on his back while I fell on top of him.

My head bobbed up and down as Gerard's chest bobbed up and down as he breathed. I could feel the heat from Gerard's body, it felt too hot for someone who was exercising.

I lifted my head and looked down at Gerard's face below me. As I looked into his eyes, my mind suddenly went blank as if hypnotized by him. I'm not sure how long we stayed in that position, but I started to regain myself when I realized something was protruding between his legs, pressing against my thighs.

"Get off top of me!" he whined, seemingly restraining himself from throwing me away.