Chapter 19 : Morning Confession

I had an uncle who was my mother's younger brother, known in the family for his insanity. We all called him uncle Sane. His real name was Dane, it was because of his craziness that we all decided to call him that and he did not mind. All the crazy things he did are still vividly remembered in my mind, never to be forgotten.

Napping in a bear cave, biting a snake after it had bitten him, and even going into the forest without clothes on because he wanted to feel what it was like to be a shirtless animal for the rest of his life. He died after being stung by a poisonous bee while trying out the lifestyle of a sun bear that he said had become his best friend in the forest.

After my uncle's death, who would have thought that I would meet another crazy person, who was no less crazy!

Gerard was really directing his horse to chase me. I had no choice but to keep running. The time I had was not enough if I used it to jump over the one and a half meter high iron fence. Even if I quickened my pace, there was only a fraction of a second until the horse managed to hit me. So there was nothing I could do but run on a random route. there were times when I turned right, then straight ahead, then ran left, around, and so on just to increase the distance between me and that crazy Gerard.

I've been yelling at him to stop but he just yells back to speed up his horse's pace. he seems to be out of his mind. I don't know what big thing happened last night with him losing his sanity like this.

My legs are starting to get tired and my breath is starting to get short because I keep yelling at him to stop. Occasionally I look back to see the distance between the horse and me but the distance is getting thinner and thinner. Once time, when I look behind me, I stumble and fall down on the slightly damp ground.

I hurriedly turned my body back and saw that the horse was already standing with its two legs right in front of me. I reflexively shielded my face. At least even though I died today from being stepped on by a horse, my face was still in one piece and looked pretty when I was buried.

Unlike what I expected, the horse planted its two front feet beside me. I could hear its feet as they touched the ground. the sound of it clearly heard in my ears showed how many tons it weighed.

I opened my hand and saw Gerard getting off his horse. he came over to me and held out his hand as if it was nothing, just a small thing like accidentally throwing a ball at your back and causing you to fall.

I was already upset, brushed off his hand and got up with my own, "So this is how you make amends after making me almost die?! You lower your hand to erase your mistakes before? excuse me, Sir! Does this world belong to you?!", I shouted.

He suddenly put his index finger to my mouth, signaling me to be quiet and not make any noise, "Your voice is so loud you'll wake all the horses." , His response was so calm as if he didn't care about my anger, "Don't think of me as evil. This is a good training for you."

I quickly swatted away his hand that was silencing my mouth with just one finger of his hand, " What the hell is training. What threatens my life do you call this a training?"

Gerard chuckled, "You're talking as if I just ran over you with a horse-drawn carriage."

" Didn't you?!"

" Did you get hurt?", asked Gerard leaning over me with his hands behind his back, "Let's see what kind of injury I made to you that threatened your life? Oh that knee and that arm, huh? I guess it was your own fault for not keeping your eyes forward while running."

I lost my words. Speechless. Now I understand why a lot of people respect him. I guess they just don't want to get into trouble with Gerard instead.

" Do you know how weak you are? Your skills, to be honest, are the lowest of all the troops here, don't you know? You can't even riding a horse. You have to try harder than the others to catch up unless you want to join and be a burden to everyone."

I opened my mouth when I heard Gerard's explanation about me being here. I thought I had tried very hard and qualified as a troop. apparently my efforts were not that hard, I was a bit disappointed with myself.

"Just for your information, all the troops who qualify already have some basics like riding or handling weapons. that's why in the first test they were all tested with that mad dog."

"What do you get out of a test like that? You're just putting fear into us!", I protested.

"Isn't life like that? for people who don't have power, they all live in fear and there are creatures out there who are already looking for their lives. isn't it natural that we all live in fear and uncertainty? There's no other way out but to get used to it.", Gerard explained when walking over to his horse to pet it, "and you," Gerard turned to me, deliberately pausing.

"You can't even ride a horse." , Well, he's right.

"I don't think you've even held a sword, have you?" , again, he was right.

"You can't control your emotions either." , he's absolutely right.

"Always in a hurry and feel like you have to do something." Yup, he's totally right.

"What's more? Your academic ability, I don't think we need to talk about it." Once again, he's absolutely right.

I remained rooted to my spot even though my little heart was already wounded, stabbed repeatedly with the bitter reality. The painful thing was that I couldn't avoid it because it was all true.

"besides the abilities I mentioned before, there is one important thing that all troopers must have and that is stamina. stamina is not like riding skills where you just practice a few times and then you can and forever you will have that skill. For stamina you need to practice as often as possible. I can see your stamina is pretty good enough, but since you can't even ride a horse we need to strengthen your legs. This is just the beginning, you are welcome to complain because I won't listen to it."

I was stunned not expecting Gerard to think about everything including me who even thought about him just to hate him all the time.

"The training for today is over. I just wanted to see what the limit. Was too bad you stopped because you tripped, not because you couldn't run anymore. Go back to your room before everyone else wakes up." , Gerard added.

Then he walked away from me, taking the horse with him to return to the stable. Heard all the explanations there were various thoughts raging in my brain. I felt like saying something, saying something, but my mouth seemed to be locked tight, it was difficult to open and make a sound, just to call out to him.

"Oh! I almost forgot," , Gerard turned around and took something out of his pants pocket, "This is yours," , he said, dangling my silver dagger in his hand in front of him, like he was baiting a dog with a bone, "here. Take it." , He commanded.

There was a hint of suspicion in the back of my mind but I chose to push it aside since Gerard was impatient. I stepped closer to him then raised my hand, trying to take my dagger.

He unexpectedly held the knife high on purpose so I couldn't reach it.

"Oh looks like you can play around like a kid too, huh?" I teased him.

Gerard smiled dismissively, "No. I just haven't finished talking yet," he said reasonably.

I stopped jumping and let out a long breath, "Yes?"

"Take it after you've managed to ride the horse." , he said and put my silver dagger back into his pants pocket, "So we'll meet again here tomorrow morning, and I won't hesitate to wake you up at any cost so you can get to practice on time." , he added with emphasis, then left the arena with his horse.

"Why do you want to teach me?!" , I shouted at him.

I saw his steps stop and he turned around, "Because you're the only one who hears the song!", he shouted as he put both hands in front of his mouth to form a loud mouthpiece.