Chapter 37 Part 37
Asher
He pulled his truck to a stop just after 8 p.m. The porch light was on, and he could make out his father’s form on the patio. Dakota jumped out as Asher climbed out, and when Asher slapped his thigh, the dog stood next to him instantly.
“Hey, Pops,” Asher said, as he climbed the porch steps.
“Good to have you back, Asher.”
“Why’s Melody here?” She was lying in Thomas’ arms, her sleeping form looking so serene and peaceful that, for a moment, Asher was jealous.
“Maggie went out with your brother,” Thomas said.
Asher gritted his teeth, but didn’t say anything. He walked over to the chair next to his father’s, and sat down. Dakota put his head on his thigh, and his hand went to the dog’s ears.
“You got a dog?”
“Dakota served with me in Afghanistan. He’s a war hero, Pops.” The dog’s tail had started wagging at the mention of his name. He gripped his father’s shoulder and looked at the dog. “Friend.” Dakota walked over to Thomas, sniffed the offered hand, and then promptly sniffed Melody as well. His tail never stopped wagging.
“A wise man once said that the companionship of a dog was the truest test of friendship that ever existed. You can’t ever be lonely when you have a dog.”
“Guess I’ll be heading home. Get Dakota settled,” Asher said, and stood up.
“You’re a damn fool, Asher, and I didn’t raise no fools in this house,” Thomas said.
“Pops—”
“No. I know that girl’s story. She told me every little, awful detail. She’s been through enough, and I know you’ve seen more blood and dead bodies than anyone should ever have to. I know your soul carries scars that you won’t ever talk about, but I will say one more thing. I ain’t ever seen you as happy or settled like you were with her by your side. Who cares about her past? Are you a saint? Have you never done anything you regretted? Don’t lose the best thing in your life, Asher. If I’d known then what I know now, when I met your momma, I still would’ve married her. I loved that woman more than I loved myself, and even knowing she’d die and leave me alone, it’s better than never having loved her at all.”
“Dad—”
“Go home, Asher. I’m fresh out of advice for the night. Damn fool.” Thomas stood up with Melody in his arms, walked past Asher into the house, and locked the door behind him.
Asher sighed, but he got Dakota back into his truck, and drove to his own house. It was dark, quiet, and so empty. When he’d seen Melody in his father’s arms, he’d wanted to scoop her up, and press her against his chest. He didn’t think he could love her more, even if she was his.
Asher parked his truck in front of his house and got out. Dakota was sniffing around everywhere before he lifted his leg against the bur oak tree. He unlocked the front door, and told Dakota to go explore. The dog sniffed his way through the house as Asher poured kibble into the dog bowl he’d bought. He placed it with a water bowl on the porch. The big pillow bed went on the living room floor, and Dakota had sniffed it thoroughly.
He sat down on one of the rocking chairs, and thought about his father’s words. Maggie was out with his brother. It could only be Blair. He wasn’t blind, and he wasn’t an idiot. Blair had sneaked looks at Maggie when he thought nobody was watching. Asher was always watching.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, and he could feel the darkness reaching out to him. He’d been thinking about Mark a lot. Imagining putting that pistol against his temple, and pulling the trigger; the dreams would stop, the nameless men would disappear, and he’d be free.
He shook his head, and stood up from the chair. It took him less than an hour to install the two electronic doggy doors that worked with the new collar around Dakota’s neck. He showed Dakota the door, pushed him through from either side, and he was satisfied that the dog could go out when he needed to, but also get back into the house.
Heavy raindrops had started to fall, but the storm was still raging inside him. He needed to clear his head, to get these dark thoughts out of his mind. He wasn’t suicidal, had never been, but the idea had a certain allure to it.
He was frustrated, angry with himself, but also with Maggie. He’d fallen for her, hook, line, and sinker, and now all he could see when he thought about her was that video. It would’ve been different if he’d never seen it.
Asher closed the front door behind him, but he heard the sound of an engine over the rain and stood in the living room and watched through the windows. When headlights appeared, he recognized Blair’s truck. His hands clenched into fists. He didn’t have the energy to talk to his brother right now.
Maggie climbed out of Blair’s truck, looking up at his house. The rain pelted down on her, but she didn’t move. She just stood there. Asher opened the front door, and walked out onto the porch. Her head was lowered now.
“Maggie! What are you doing?”
She looked up, but he couldn’t quite make out the look in her eyes. “You’re not perfect, Asher! I know everyone thinks you are, but you’re not!”
Asher walked into the rain, the drops running down his face. “I never said I was perfect!”
“You act like you’ve never made a mistake! I’m not perfect, I know that, but I never lied to you. I just didn’t tell you about my past because I was ashamed of it. I turned my life around, and I ran to keep my daughter safe! If you can’t handle that, then it’s not my problem!”
“It’s not your problem? Because you’re in love with Blair?”
Maggie threw her hands into the air and looked at him. “Blair? What the hell are you talking about? Why would you think I’m in love with Blair?”
“You went on a date with him tonight!”
Maggie started to laugh, and the irritation flared in Asher. “We went out as a group. Why do you care anyway? You left me! You left Melody! You wrestled your way into my life, and at the first hurdle, you bailed, Asher Fitzgerald!”
She spun on her heel and got back into Blair’s truck. Asher took a step forward, but she was already turning the truck around, and driving away. Dakota gave a soft bark and left Asher standing in the rain.