Chapter 146 Part 146
Emerson
Asher ended up staying for the weekend, but his schedule was too demanding. He’d stop by after his morning chores, feed Henri, and then return in the evenings so he could help her to bathe him, and put him to bed. It had been their routine now for a whole month.
Asher had just left when someone knocked on her front door. She opened it, and almost swallowed her tongue.
“I come in peace,” Lorelei said. “I promise.”
“Okay.”
“I brought pie and a gift,” she said, and walked past Emerson into her house.
She frowned, but closed the front door, and followed Lorelei to the kitchen. “Coffee?” She was at a loss for words, and coffee seemed like an ice breaker.
“That would be nice, thank you.” Lorelei stood in the middle of the kitchen, and looked around. “I heard Asher did all the remodelling himself.”
“Yeah,” Emerson said. She had no idea why Lorelei was there.
“It’s very nice.”
Emerson finished with their coffee, and placed the sugar and cream on the table. She sat down at the table, and Lorelei sat down opposite her. She added sugar to her cup but no cream.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” Lorelei said. She was smiling, nervously.
“Well, yeah. It’s not like we’re friends.”
Lorelei chuckled, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “That’s why I’m here. I went to see Asher a few months ago. I had to try one last time, because it’s not easy to just let go of him.”
Emerson smiled sadly. “No, it’s not.”
“He told me he wasn’t over you, and I could see it. So…I’m here to make amends. I don’t know why I acted the way I did, but I was so insanely jealous of you. I never thought I’d lose Asher, because he’s such a good guy, you know.”
“Eden once told me that women fall in love with him very easily.”
Lorelei grinned, and nodded her head. “That’s true. Anyway, I really am sorry for everything I did and said. It’s like I lost my mind there for a while.”
“I’m sorry I hit you,” Emerson said.
“I deserved it. I’ve had time to really reflect on my life choices, and maybe a small part of me will always love him, but I know he doesn’t love me. I still want him to be happy, and I can see that he’s not.”
Emerson frowned. “Things are complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be. You have a son with him, and that means he’ll never move on to someone else. That little boy will always be the most important person in his life, and you are part of that package.”
“I don’t think it’ll work out between us,” Emerson said.
“Well, I hope it does, because he was really happy being with you. That’s why I was so jealous, because he never looked at me the way he looked at you, and I hated it.”
“Lorelei—”
“I met someone, and I think it has the potential to really go somewhere, so I’m taking my own leap of faith here. You should do the same. Asher can be stubborn as all hell, and most men are idiots. But, if you really do love him like I think you do, then you have to fight for it. Asher accepts things as black and white, and they’re not always that way. He’ll live his whole life punishing himself, and just accepting it. It’s up to you to show him the colors.”
Lorelei got to her feet, gave Emerson a smile, and walked out of her house. She sat at the kitchen table and finished her coffee, still a bit shocked by everything Lorelei had said.
Footsteps on the wooden floors had her looking up sharply, and she visibly relaxed when she saw Blair. She was still wary of him, because he always seemed angry.
“I thought it was time you and I had a heart to heart, Emerson.”
She nodded her head and got to her feet. “This feels more like a Whiskey conversation, but coffee will have to do.”
Blair almost smiled, and he pulled out the same chair Lorelei had vacated earlier. The irony wasn’t lost on her, but she decided not to say anything. The woman had apologized.
“What brings you by, Blair?” They both had a fresh cup of coffee, and Emerson was now sitting across from him.
“I’m worried about Asher,” he said.
“Why?”
“Why did you read that journal?”
Emerson sighed. “I don’t know if he ever told you how he nearly choked me to death one night. I know he told Thomas. Your father and I talked about it.”
“Choked you how?”
“He was having a dream and I touched his arm. In his dreamstate, he thought he was being attacked. It was scary as hell, but I knew what was happening.”
“He never told me,” Blair said.
“I was looking for something to read, and the journal was just there. I kept reading because I wanted to understand his PTSD better. I thought that if I knew what had happened to him, I could help him to avoid triggers, and I’d understand what he went through.”
Blair shifted in the chair and looked intently at her. “And you still love him, even after reading that book?”
“Yes. He’s damaged, but he’s not broken, Blair. He’s just a man that went through something none of us will ever really understand. He’s not evil.”
“I’m not so sure he’s not broken. His eyes look like they did when he just came home, before he…before he tried to kill himself.”
Emerson looked at Blair for a long time before she spoke. “How did he try?”
“He rode his horse up to the cliff. I found him up there, pistol in his hand, just looking out over the horizon. I kept watching him, and when he lifted the pistol, I nearly knocked us both off that edge.”
“You think he’s suicidal?”
Blair nodded his head. “He wants you to hate him, Emerson. He wants you to hate him on Rowena’s behalf. He’s got it all twisted up inside, thinks he needs to be hated for what happened to her.”
“I can understand why he feels that way. I was there, too. I felt so guilty for being a part of Grover’s life. He killed a man in front of me, and I didn’t do a thing, I didn’t even scream. I just watched. There are still days that I dream about that man.”
“I can’t lose my brother, Emerson.”