Chapter 139 Part 139
Asher
Cassidy warmed up his food for him while he sat at the table. A glass of sweet tea stood in front of him, and he could feel the weight of depression on his shoulders. His whole body felt heavy.
“Eat,” Cassidy said, as she placed the plate in front of him.
He ate in silence, Cassidy watching his every move. Neither of them said a word. His appetite was non-existent, but he knew he had to eat. Today had been grueling, and his body needed the nutrients.
“Mark brought Emerson to the ranch. She was a material witness in a murder trial. She was going to testify against her boyfriend but he escaped, and the location of their safehouse had been leaked.”
“So he brought her to you,” Cassidy said.
Asher nodded his head. “She was funny and sarcastic, but she was a fighter. Her relationship with the guy was abusive, but I could see how hard she was trying.”
“And then you fell in love?” she asked.
“It happened gradually. I knew I was falling and that I shouldn’t. I knew she wasn’t going to stay here forever, but I fell anyway.”
“What happened? Did Mark catch him?”
“No, she swiped her card buying me a Christmas gift, and they found us. Three men working for her boyfriend barged in and we were both taken to a cabin in the middle of nowhere. The boyfriend was there, he cut her clothes off, and they took me outside to kill me.”
“Which they obviously didn’t.”
Asher’s lip twitched, and he almost smiled. “I killed the two men outside, then went back for Emerson. I killed her boyfriend, and called Mark to clean up the bodies, or whatever it is that they do.”
“So what happened then?”
“Before those men came for us, I found Emerson reading my therapy journal. I wrote everything in there, every single thing that happened to me in that cell.”
Cassidy’s intake of breath was sharp, and for a moment she looked like a deer caught in headlights. He was sure that her heart was beating erratically. Remembering trauma did that.
“I didn’t write about you. I wrote about Rowena, and the other guys. I only mentioned that one woman left with us the day we were saved.”
She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Thank you. I don’t want anyone to ever know what happened to me in there.”
“When I got her back to the ranch, I asked Mark to take her with him when he left. She was heartbroken, but I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t want to see the hate and disgust in her eyes.”
Cassidy took his hand in hers, and squeezed it. “We survived. Everything we did was so we could survive.”
“You get it because you were there, she wasn’t.”
Her smile was sad, and she squeezed his hand again. “Tell me the rest of it.”
“I tried to call her on Christmas Day when I found my gift from her, but she changed her number, and I had no idea where she was. I finally tracked her down in Minneapolis at a book signing she was doing there. My plan was to tell her that I was getting help, that I wasn’t the person she read about in that journal, and that I wasn’t mad at her for reading it.”
“Clearly that backfired as well,” she said, and Asher grinned.
“I saw her through the window, her hand on her pregnant stomach, and some man kissing her cheek. I couldn’t go in and talk to her. She looked so happy, I didn’t want to ruin it by dredging up the past. The next day she was here, living in the house I renovated.”
“She told you that the baby’s yours,” Cassidy said, softly.
“Yeah, and then she told me that she still loved me.”
Cassidy nodded her head. “I get it. You’re scared of hurting her, scared of your own demons, and you hate yourself so much that you need someone to hate you, too. You don’t think you deserve happiness or love. I get it, Asher.”
“When did it happen for you?”
“A week before I came here. My parents died in a car crash, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to die. Some nights, I dream about putting my gun to my head and just ending it. I knew you’d be pissed if I killed myself, so I came here instead.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“You said three of his men took you, but you only killed two, and then the boyfriend. What happened to the third man?”
“I grew up with Joey here, when I realized he was working for that man, it broke my heart. When I got Emerson to safety, I went to his house, and killed him. They never did solve that murder,” Asher said.
“Good.” The look in Cassidy’s eyes spoke of understanding, and she squeezed his hand again. “You know you’re wrong though, right?”
“Wrong about what?”
She smiled again, and let go of his hand. “She still loves you, and the way you talk about her…you still love her, too.”
“I do, but she doesn’t need all the baggage I drag around with me. She deserves better.”
Cassidy shook her head, but didn’t say anything else. She stood up from the table and started washing their dinner plates. Asher wasn’t sure what to do or say to her.
“Do you remember that pact we made?”
“That we’d survive? That pact?”
Cassidy nodded her head. “I want to amend that pact.”
“To what?” Asher asked her.
“If I stay here and heal, if I fight to survive, and try to find happiness, then you have to do it, too.”
“Who says I’m not happy?”
“You spent weeks covering my naked body with yours. You killed that guard when he tried to touch me. I know you better than you think. Most days, you were in a daze, your eyes looked dead, but we talked. You kept me safe, Asher, you made sure I survived. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, strong and safe. You deserve to let go of it all and be happy.”