Chapter 190 Goodnight Shannon
Shannon's P.O.V.
"I'm sorry, I can't see a woman cry and not comfort her. Your mom was wrong. You are a beautiful woman. You're taking everything quite well, considering what you've been through today. Quincy is gone and will never hurt you or anyone else again. When I saw what he did to you, I wanted to kill him right then and there." I look up at Benny. He's a handsome man with thick black hair and kind hazel eyes. Not to mention his enormous size.
"Thank you. My mom's the reason I went to school for child psychology. She abused me my entire life. Quincy said if I didn't suck him, he would torture me until I begged him to kill me. It brought flashbacks of my mom, so I did what he said. Is there something about me that makes people want to hurt me? Am I not good enough to just live my life?" My tears fall again, and I feel like an idiot. I just met this man, and now I'm pouring out my life story and crying all over him. Benny turns and tries to wrap both arms around me, but it's too awkward. He then lifts me and sets me across his lap so my head rests on his chest. He puts both arms around me, and I feel like I'm in a cocoon of safety and warmth.
"I'm sorry I couldn't hug you like I wanted. Is this okay?" he asks nervously.
"It shouldn't be, but yes, it's fine. Your girlfriend or wife is lucky to have a big man like you." Benny rubs his hand over my back.
"I don't have either. I've always felt like a big dummy when it comes to women. I never know what to do or say." I look up into his eyes.
"You seem like you're doing pretty well to me. How old are you, Benny?" Can I just stay in his arms forever? He makes me feel beautiful, like he said I was, even though I'm dressed in clothes that are way too big, and my hair is a mess.
"Thirty-two. I'm sure that's a lot older than you." I shake my head and smile.
"I'm twenty-two. Thirty-two isn't old. I think it's a perfect age." Am I really flirting? I never flirt, but his big arms and the things he said are making me forget the bad day I was having. Benny looks into my eyes.
"You had a lot of bad things happen within a few hours. I don't want to take advantage of your vulnerability, but do you think you would like to go to dinner with me sometime?" He stumbles over his words, and I think it's cute. I place my hand on his cheek.
"I've had lots of bad things happen to me my whole life. You're not one of them. I shouldn't do this, but for once, I'm going to ignore my common sense." I place my lips against his and close my eyes. Please don't let him push me away. His arms tighten around me, and he puts a hand into my hair to hold my mouth against his as he moves his lips. His tongue slides into my mouth, and I feel like I'm melting. This is how a kiss should feel. Kyle never kissed me like this. When Benny pulls away, I lay my head on his chest again.
"I'm sorry," I tell him, even though I'm not sorry at all.
"Don't apologize. I've wanted to kiss you from the minute I saw you sitting out here. I thought it was wrong after what happened with your boyfriend and Quincy. I didn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you." I lean up and kiss his cheek.
"I kissed you because you're the one man who didn't hurt me today. You're the only person I've ever met who makes me feel safe and good about myself. I'm not on the rebound or doing this to make myself feel better. I don't sleep around or anything. Kyle was the first and only man I've been with. I was never in love with him, though. Benny, do you believe some people are brought into each other's lives when they need them the most?" He rubs his thumb over my lips.
"I'm beginning to. Not just with us, but I've seen several couples inside that house who weren't looking for anyone but found them anyway. I've never been in a serious relationship." Everything in my head is telling me to slow down, but my heart is telling me this is what I have always been looking for.
"Do you live here?" Benny nods.
"I officially work for the Buccheri family, but their house burned down, so we've been staying with Dakota. She and Ari Buccheri are engaged." Should I ask him? What if he says no? I don't want sex right now, but I would really like to sleep in his arms. I just want to feel safe.
"I know it's not fair to ask you this, but will you sleep with me tonight? I'm not talking about sex. The only thing I want tonight is to feel safe, and you make me feel safe." My voice cracks, and Benny kisses my forehead.
"I will hold you tonight." He stands and puts me on my feet. He looks like a giant standing next to me.
We go upstairs, and he takes me to my bedroom. I don't have anything to wear besides what I have on, so I climb into bed while Benny goes to his room and takes a shower. When he returns, he hands me an even bigger T-shirt than the one I have on and a pair of shorts.
"Put these on. I don't want you in Quincy's clothes." I pull the shirt and sweatpants off in the middle of the room and put his clothes on. He saw me naked and tied up; I think it's safe to say I have nothing to hide.
"Is that better?" I ask him. He smiles, lifts me into his arms, and lays me back in the bed.
"Much better. You can wear my clothes anytime." He lies on his back, and I lay my head on his chest.
"Goodnight, Benny." He kisses my head and wraps his arms around me.
"Goodnight, Shannon."