Chapter 39 The Gardener’s Ire
“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?” he snapped, loud enough for me to flinch but quiet enough where the other knights inside the tavern couldn’t hear us.
“Captain—I don’t understand what—” I stammered.
“You’re defending the enemy! The ENEMY!” he snarled. “Do you want to die?!”
I gaped, quickly shaking my head. “No! That wasn’t my intention! I just—I was just—”
“Just what? Trying to understand their mindset? Trying to relate to them?”
I hesitated, looking away from him.
Jackson leaned closer. “When you show the enemy mercy, you let your guard down,” he muttered. “Do you know how many comrades I’ve lost because they let their guard down? How many friends I’ve watched die because they thought ‘it was okay’?!”
“N—no…” I whispered.
“Too many, Robin! Too fucking many!” he spat, leaning off me. “And you’ll be put in the ground, just like them, if you keep that same mindset.”
My hands balled into fists. My breath shook, but I couldn’t stop the next words I blurted, “It’s not about the mindset, Captain. It’s about the human heart! A heart is all colors, not just one! No stone is unbreakable. No ice can’t be melted.” I murmured my next words, “No fire can’t be smoldered. Not when it comes to the heart.”
Jackson grimaced and turned his back to me. “…You’re a child if you truly believe that.”
“Captain,” I murmured, taking a step closer. “Would you take innocent lives of the weak, children, and elderly if you were ordered to? Would you disobey orders if you knew it was the right thing to do? To save those who need a hero?”
Jackson remained silent. I thought he was ignoring me until he muttered, “I’ll kill anyone and obey every order given to me. No matter how young, old, or innocent. Even if I’m ordered to sacrifice a village, so be it. No matter how bloodied my hands become… or how far my soul be damned.”
I flinched and shook my head, my breath quivering. “No… no. You don’t mean that. That’s not the Jackson I know. That’s not what a knight is supposed to be…!”
Jackson huffed, his back still facing me. “You don’t know a damn thing about me. Believe it or not, knights aren’t always the heroes. Sometimes they have to be the villains too.”
My chest ached, tears burning my eyes. Being told my childhood dream was nothing but a facade brought my world crumbling down around me.
“I never wanted…” My voice cracked. I swallowed and forced it to sound stronger. “Princess Liliana would’ve disapproved of this—”
Jackson whirled around, and I gasped, stumbling backward until my back slammed against the wall again. “Don’t you EVER speak for her again!” he snarled through his teeth. “Relative or not, you have no right!”
My anger overpowered my fear, and I lifted my chin with defiance. The fire in my eyes challenged his as I growled, “I apparently know her better than you ever did.”
Jackson flinched, glancing away. We stood in silence as the heated tension between us cooled off in the chilly wind. He eventually muttered, “…Get back inside, dame.”
Without a word, I scurried past him, wiping my eyes before entering the tavern. The cold gust was replaced by warmth. Unfortunately, that included the stench of alcohol and sweaty men. By now, the musky scent didn’t bother me. If anything, it made me feel at home.
“Robin!” Cedric called, waving me over.
I smiled and hurried over. “Hey. Doin’ okay?”
“Better,” he said and winced when a fellow knight wrapping his wounds pulled a little too tight. “Goddamn, watch it!”
“Sorry,” he chuckled. The brunette with green eyes turned to me and smiled. “You’re becoming quite popular here,” he said and held out his hand. “The name’s Russel. I was hoping to get more familiar with you.”
“Nice to meet you, Russel,” I said with a sweet smile, shaking his hand.
Russel’s smile slightly faded as his cheeks reddened. Cedric mumbled, “I hope you mean closer as ‘friends’. She already has Erik barking up her leg.”
I gaped. “What?! We’re just friends!”
Russel snorted. “Ha, no, no ulterior motives here. Something tells me that Captain Jackson would scalp me.”
“So I’m not the only one, eh?” Cedric chuckled.
As they talked, I glanced toward the door. Jackson finally came inside and walked up to one of his knights, speaking to him in a hushed tone. The knight gave a determined “Yes, sir!” and rushed out of the tavern.
My shoulders sagged in disappointment. I figured he’d choose a different scout after our argument. Part of me thought that Jackson would never speak to me again.
“Robin,” Cedric called, grabbing my attention.
“Yup? Yes?”
“Are you alright?”
“Um…” My brows furrowed, but I kept my smile. “Of course. What do you mean?”
“Your eyes look a little puffy,” he murmured, looking me over. “As if you’ve been crying.”
“Oh…” I put on my practiced pretty smile this time. “The smell is a little strong in here. It’s stinging my eyes.”
“She’s got a point,” Russel grunted, waving his nose. “Those bandits are disgusting! I wouldn’t be surprised if they were drinkin’ horse piss!”
I snorted and covered my mouth before I could cackle.
Cedric rolled his eyes, grumbling, “You’re the one who’s disgusting. Oh—” His blue eyes rested on my cheek. “That’s a pretty deep cut. Better tend to it now before it scars.”
Russel’s eyebrows raised. “Hold on, is that the only place you were injured?!”
“Well, I was also kicked in the stomach pretty hard,” I said and grunted in pain when I touched my torso. “Other than that, yeah.”
“I’ll be damned. Aren’t you a nimble minx. I wish I were that agile.” Russel grinned, flexing his muscular arms. “But there’s no hiding these babies.”
I laughed, meanwhile Cedric curled his lip and mumbled, “Shut up, Russel. I swear, sometimes you’re more annoying than Erik.” Cedric turned to me, grabbing some ointment. He cleaned my cut with water from his flask and gently rubbed the ointment across the wound. I winced, and he murmured, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Thank you, Cedric.” I smiled gratefully until I felt someone’s eyes staring me down, making my skin crawl. My gaze snapped in that direction, and to my surprise, it was Jackson.
The captain leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. His hazel gaze was narrowed, but not with disapproval; this time it was something else. His brows furrowed as his jaw clenched. A look I wasn’t familiar with. After years of growing up with Maribel and her colorful personality, the closest thing I could describe it as was jealousy.
I spun away when our eyes locked. My heart immediately pounded as my cheeks burned. My frustration grew with my fluster.
Cedric tapped my shoulder. “The scout may be a while. Why don’t you rest? You can lay on my lap.”
“Oh. Well, if you insist. Thank you,” I murmured, laying down and resting my head on his lap. A wave of exhaustion hit me as my eyes closed.
Darkness. An eternal night. The void.
In the dark realm, footsteps approached behind me.