Chapter 12

Anwen looked around the room as she stood by the wall. She had just finished supper and was happily awaiting the dancing to start. She wasn’t sure who she would dance with first, but she trusted someone would ask her. She was surprised at least Prince Rillian had not already done so. At least he knew he was safe from any attentions from her. They both seemed to understand each other, and Anwen was quickly growing fond of him as her friend. She wouldn’t mind opening the dance with him.

The musicians took their place and people gathered around her in couples. She began to think no one would ask her, and she thought to go find a place to sit when the king appeared by her side.

“You will dance with me, won’t you princess?” asked Maddoc as he looked down at her.

“This isn’t our usual dance, my king,” replied Anwen. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until much later.”

“This will become our usual dance, Anwen, as well as the last. When you are my queen, you will be expected to open all balls with me, and I will insist we close them together as well.” He held out his hand, and she took it, letting him lead her out on the dance floor. “Of course, if it were up to me, I would dance every dance with you.”

She laughed a little as he put his hand on her waist and took her hand. He pulled her close, probably too close, but she did not ask him to pull away. The music started, and she danced with her king. It was one of her favorite things to do. She loved the way she felt in his arms. His gaze made her feel warm. To her, they seemed to move as though they were meant to dance together. Though there was such a difference in their sizes, they were perfectly in sync. He was the one she fit perfectly with, and she would not love another. She had to marry him because without him she would face a future alone.

“What are you thinking, Anwen,” he asked quietly.

“How I can’t imagine my life without you. I have no doubts about us, Maddoc. I am more than ready to marry you.”

“Soon, my love. I will announce it tonight if you wish.”

She shook her head. “Today has been perfect, and as much I shall be happy to hear you tell everyone you want me to be your wife, I do not wish to deal with the inevitable consequences. I will not ask you to wait much longer. I do not think I can.”

“What matters is I know you are mine, and you know I belong to no other than you. We both know there will be difficulties, but I am sure it is nothing we can’t handle. I feel like I could do anything with you by my side.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“As much as I hate to say it, I do hope this dance ends soon, or you shall have to announce our engagement. I may not be able to stop myself from kissing you.”

“I hope the dance goes on forever then.” Maddoc’s hand moved against her side.

The dance did end, and they were forced to part. Anwen found herself busy for every dance she wished. She avoided Lachlan which pleased her. He didn’t look much in the mood for dancing, and besides dancing once with Gwendolyn and once with Anwen’s aunt, he spent the night sitting in the corner at a table. Anwen was not lucky enough to avoid Prince Korben. He spent their dance being much too comfortable with his words and touches for Anwen’s liking. He seemed to want to please her, but all he did was make her more wary of him.

As the night grew long, her leg ached, and her head hurt slightly. Her mother went to bed saying she was much too tired to stay up as late as the young people. She was escorted out by King Brone who was happy to attend to her. Anwen sat at a table, drinking a glass of wine, trying to keep her eyes open when Elias came and sat by her.

“You should go on up to bed, your highness. You look done in.”

“It would be rude to leave since this dance was meant for me. I can stand to stay downstairs a while longer.” She put down her wine glass.

“If it is your party, and you may leave whenever you like. You will not upset our king. I will let him know where you have gone.”

Anwen was tempted to agree with him, and she was about to when she saw Matthias walk through the room and stop by Maddoc. He handed the king a message, and Maddoc opened it directly. He read it and looked up at Matthias who nodded at him. Maddoc shook his head and looked angry before saying something to Matthias who bowed and left.

Maddoc looked over their way. “What do you think that is all about, Elias?” asked Anwen.

“I am not sure, but I will go find out. Wait here.”

She watched as Elias went to speak with Maddoc. They talked for a few moments before Elias looked over at Anwen. He turned back to Maddoc and nodded before walking back to her.

“You are to go to bed, now, my princess. I shall escort you out of the room,” said Elias.

“What is going on?”

“The king has to leave for the south of the kingdom tonight. He wishes to see you before he goes.”

“He has to leave tonight?” she whispered urgently. “Things must be awful.”

“They do not sound good, but I am sure he will tell you. You need to get to your room because he wishes to see you quickly.”

She stood and took his arm as they walked from the ballroom to the entry hall. When they got to the stairs Elias turned to her. “Do you need help up the stairs, your highness?”

“No, I can make it. Go back and try to keep everyone distracted. I would not like certain people coming to look for the king.”

“I will see to Princess Meira. I will have Alys help. Now go on, your king will be with you shortly.”

She leaned up and kissed Elias’s cheek. “You are a dear. I hope you know it.”

“I am a snobbish lord who has no time for anything but his self-interest. It is only you who brings out my softer side.”

“No, you are very good-hearted Elias. I would not trust someone as sweet as Lady Alys to a bad man. You wear your snobbery like a shield, but deep down we both know you are as good as they come.”

“Go on to bed, princess. You are so tired you are delusional.”

“Good night, my lord.”

“Sleep well, princess.” He said as she left him to climb the stairs.

She made it to her rooms to find them empty. She supposed Mrs. Owens was still making sure all ran smoothly downstairs. Anwen walked into the bedroom and reached up to take off the tiara she wore. She wished she could go ahead and slip out of her gown, but she could not reach her ties. She sat down and took off her shoes just as the wall opened up.

Maddoc walked in and grabbed her hand, pulling her up to him. He kissed her before resting his forehead against hers. “How shall I leave you, my love. Even if it is just for a short time. It shall be agony.”

“You really must go?” she asked pitifully.

He sighed, straightening up, and kissed her hand. “There are a couple of lords who will not do as they are asked. They have thrown out the lords I sent and are refusing to obey the commands I made. I will have to go and make sure they know who their king really is. It should not take long. I plan to be back in four days. We will still have over a week of the festival by the time I return.”

“I will miss you, but I know you must do as is necessary. You are the king, and you have a duty.”

“Come with me for a while, Anwen. We have some time. Not as much as I might wish, but I need to be with you before I leave. Let me have some wonderful memory as I ride out on this cold night.”

She leaned up and kissed him. “I will give you whatever you want, my king, if you have time.”

He picked her up. “I never have enough time with you, my love, but I will do as much as I can with the time I have. He didn’t even bother with a candle. He walked through the dark passageway by memory, opening the wall on the other side. He laid her down on the bed, moving over her as he kissed her. One of his hands went immediately under her dress as the other moved behind her head.

“It won’t be dangerous, will it?” she asked quietly as he kissed a line down her throat.

He looked up at her. “No, not at all. I will just need to remind a couple of the southern lords that they keep their land on my watch. I’m afraid you will be in much more danger than me here amongst some of these vile people.” He stopped kissing her and sat up, taking her hand and bringing her up with him. “Promise me, you will be careful. Do not be alone when you are out of your room. I will have a guard watching your door at night, but you must not put yourself in a situation where you could be harmed.”

“I will be fine, Maddoc. There are so many people about. I don’t know what you think might happen.”

“I can imagine so many terrible things, Anwen. There are too many places someone could corner you. I don’t trust Lachlan, and even know I don’t want to think it, I can’t say my uncle might not try something. Who knows how low the princess will go to try to get what she wants? I have asked Elias to watch over you, but I know he is distracted of late. Stay with your mother, Brennan, Lord Aidan, and even Prince Rillian if you must, but do not be alone.”

He was so adamant and sincere that all she could do was touch his face and give him a promise. “I will be careful, Maddoc. I promise you.”

He leaned down and kissed her, starting to lower her down back to the bed. He suddenly stopped. “Wait, I have something for you.” He got up and walked over to a dressing table where he opened a drawer and took out a box.

“Maddoc, you didn’t need to get me anything. You already gave me a lovely day.”

“I had something made for you, and I thought to give it to you when we became betrothed, but I would rather give it to you now.”

He handed her the box, and she opened it. I inside was a lovely golden broach. It was a large tree that was often used as a symbol for her kingdom. Wrapped around the tree in rubies was a fox. It was surrounded by a gold circle. “It is lovely,” she said as she touched it.

“I wanted something that symbolizes the joining of our two kingdoms and families. I will not expect you to forget who you are, Anwen. I will be joining your family as much as you will be joining mine. I also wanted to give you something that was yours. You will receive handfuls of royal jewelry that is passed down queen to queen, but this has only ever belonged to you.”

She looked at the broach in the box one more time before she closed it and set it on a table by the bed. She stared up at Maddoc with tears in her eyes. “You are too much, my king. Your thoughtfulness astounds me.”

“I will never be enough to deserve you, but I will always endeavor to try.” He said as he put his hand up to her face to caress her cheek.

“Will you love me before you have to leave?” she asked as she put her hand on his wrist.

“Yes, my love. I will love you now and count the days until I get to be with you again.” He captured her mouth with his own, laying her back down on the bed.

Though their love was more rushed than it normally was, it was just as passionate if not more so. Anwen tried to make him feel how much she loved him. She wanted him to know how much she would miss him while he was away. She knew she would feel somewhat incomplete and off without seeing him every day. She wasn’t sure how she would sleep at night.

He seemed desperate to touch as much of her as he could. His kisses showed her he was a man who could not get enough of her. She felt much pleasure in all his attentions, and they were over far too quickly. He lay next to her, her dress askew and her hair a tangled mess.

“You are more beautiful than anything I could ever imagine, Anwen. I don’t know how I shall bear these next few days without seeing you.”

“I shall miss you more than I thought possible, Maddoc, but it will not be long. When you come back, perhaps enough will be made right for us to announce our betrothal.”

“No matter what happens, I will not be able to hide who you are to me much longer. Not that I have done a very good job at it, especially recently.”

She turned a little so she could look at him. “I do love you, my king. I said I will always return to you and hope you will always return to me.”

“Nothing could keep me away from you, Anwen. I will accomplish what I must for my kingdom, but also so I can secure my life with you. Never doubt the love I have for you.”

She kissed him, and he brought her close, moving his hands in a way she knew meant he thought to love her again. Before he could get too far there was a knock at the door. Maddoc groaned against her lips as Anwen put her hands on his.

“You need to get ready to go, and I must go prepare for bed. How I will sleep, I do not know.”

“You will rest secure in my love for you and in the knowledge I shall be back soon.”

She kissed him quickly before he helped her up. He fixed her dress in the back as she ran her fingers through her hair. They walked to the wall together as another knock sounded from the door.

“Please be safe, my king,” she said as he held her hand.

“You as well, my love. I will see you soon.”

He kissed her one more time before he opened the wall. She picked up a nearby candle and lit it with her finger. Before she walked into the passageway, she looked at him one more time. She felt a tear fall down her cheek as she tried to smile at him.

“It will not be long, Anwen. I promise.”

She nodded and turned to walk down the passageway as he closed the wall. She did not sleep well that night. She did not have long to wait for Mrs. Owens once she was in her room. The old woman helped her to undress and put on her nightgown. Mrs. Owens didn’t say much as she sensed Anwen’s mood. Before she left, she took Anwen’s hand and squeezed it.

Anwen spent the night tossing and turning in her bed. She was tempted to go to Maddoc’s bed and try to sleep but thought perhaps it would be too hard to lie there without him holding her. She finally fell into a light slumber sometime early in the morning. She was woken up by Mrs. Owens. Anwen dressed and prepared for her day like any other, but she was dreading it. All she wanted to do was hurry everything along so she could see Maddoc again.

She spent her days as merry as she could. There were many around that she enjoyed. She laughed with Brennan and Roxanna. She spent time sitting by Lord Aidan. She rode out the second morning Maddoc was gone with her mother. Neither said much, but it was nice to just be in her company. She continued to further her friendship with Prince Rillian. They walked together in the courtyard speaking over almost every topic except each other’s most important one. She did not speak to him of Maddoc, and he did not talk about any troubles with the one he was obviously pining for.

Elias and Lady Alys were often with Anwen. If they were not speaking with her, then Elias was at least within her sight. There were also more guards about than usual. She saw a couple that always seemed to be around her, many times with their eyes on her. She thought it must have been Maddoc and Matthias's command that those two guards in particular stay close to her.

It was nice to have company and be kept constantly busy. Three days passed more quickly and pleasantly than she thought they would. At night, it was hard for her to fall asleep, but she did find some rest. She would think of her king and hope he was thinking of her. She would comfort herself that he would be back soon, and then perhaps it would only be occasionally they had to be away from one another.

The fourth day brought a new worry for Anwen as the first snow of winter finally fell. It started before she woke up and did not let up for most of the day. Forced to stay within the palace, she moved from room to room, worried how the snow would delay Maddoc. She had hoped he might be back sometime that night. He had said four days, but with the amount of snow falling, she doubted he could make it.

She tried to sit in the main parlor as those around her played games. She didn’t feel like joining in. She sat down with a book, occasionally trying to read, and often looking up to watch others enjoy themselves. It was after lunch when Princess Meira plopped down in a chair next to Anwen. She picked up a book on the table there and flipped through it before sighing and putting it down.

“I do hope the king is back before long,” said Princess Meira. “This place is dreadfully boring without him.”

“You appeared to be enjoying yourself in the games earlier,” pointed out Anwen. “There were several young men you seem to enjoy speaking to.”

Princess Meira laughed a little. “I always enjoy speaking with handsome young men and doing other things with them as well. I am sure you understand the appeal. You seem to enjoy spending time with multiple men during the festival.”

Anwen put down her book and looked at Princess Meira. “I am not sure what you are alluding to, but I do not believe my public behavior has led to any need for censure. I am sure if it did, my mother would speak to me.”

“Oh, come now, Princess Anwen. I am not getting on to you like some old governess. I am merely stating you enjoy the attentions of young men. I do not blame you. I have seen how you flirt with Lord Elias. He is very handsome, and he watches you often. I wonder that you did not try to secure him before he settled on Lady Alys, but perhaps you got your pleasure from him and moved on.”

“Elias and I are friends and that is all. I would not have you believe or talk of us being anything more.”

“I do not talk about it, but there are others that do. They also speak of you and Prince Rillian. Many think you will make a match with him, but I have my doubts. He is very handsome, but you do not seem all that impressed with his company. Has he not satisfied you as you thought he would? You did seem very cozy in the courtyard that day. Perhaps you got a taste of him and decided he was not for you.”

Anwen shook her head. “Are you trying to shock me with your accusations, Princess Meira?”

“No, I am trying to tell you I understand you. Men are allowed to bed whomever they like and speak of it openly. We, as women, must take our pleasure in secret and act chaste and proper in public. I do not look down on you for having your needs met by a few men, even the king. He does appear to enjoy whatever you give him as well.”

Anwen said nothing. She only looked at Princes Meira.

“Of course, soon he and I will be married, and I am sure you will make your own match.” She looked over to where Lachlan and Gwendolyn sat together. “I would not say this to your cousin as she has become a dear friend, but I believe you may have Lachlan whenever you wish. He would leave her in a second if you give him even a hint you want him. I think Gwendolyn knows it, though she won’t admit it.”

“I would never try to take my cousin’s intended. He made her a promise in front of our kingdom, and he will stand by it.”

Princess Meira waved this away. “You shall be queen, Anwen. No one will bat an eye at him going back to you. But if he isn’t to your taste, perhaps you should pursue a relationship with Prince Korben. He seems very interested in you, and I know you are clever. It would be nice to have another intelligent woman around.” She laughed. “Who knows, I may even share the king with you after a time. Once I have his heir, I suppose we will both find pleasure wherever we like.”

Anwen stood up. “I will not converse anymore with you about this. I will not tell you how to live your life, but I will leave you with no misunderstanding about mine. I will only find pleasure, as you put it, with the man that I love. I think we both know who that is and that I have his love in return. You should look elsewhere for your happiness, princess. I hope you do find it.”

Anwen moved over closer to where games were being played. She sat down by Brennan who smiled at her. She tried to focus on the happiness in front of her and not the weather or Princess Meira’s words. She didn’t know if the princess was just trying to unnerve her, or if people really did talk about Anwen as if she was a promiscuous woman. It did not matter to her. She knew the truth, and when she was officially betrothed to Maddoc, no one would second guess her intentions.

After supper, her mother excused herself for another early knight. Anwen was growing concerned that perhaps your mother was falling ill, but she assured Anwen it was nothing. Many amongst them were not feeling well. One of them was Lady Alys. It seemed the lady was developing a cold, judging by her runny nose and cough. Before long, Elias insisted he take her home.

As the night grew later, Anwen had to admit to herself that Maddoc would not make it back to the palace for at least another day. She looked around the room to find only a few people still in the parlor. Brennan and Roxanna had disappeared, and even Prince Rillian was not around. She got up to go to her room when she was detained by Prince Korben.

“Princess, are you going to bed so early? I hope you are not unwell. Many have complained of colds,” he said as he came up to her.

She moved closer to the fireplace to put some distance between them. “I am very well, and it is not very early. I plan to go up and get comfortable so I can read a bit in bed. I am tired of company at the moment.” She hoped he would take the hint, but he moved close to her making it hard for her to leave.

“The festival does make one wish for more intimate gatherings, but it is only once a year. It is almost over. Just a week and a half left. I hope you have enjoyed at least some of it.”

She nodded. “I have enjoyed most of it. Though I might be tired of a crowd tonight, I have met many interesting people. I have liked getting to know your village better as well.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I have a great wish that you should like Quinlan. I would like it if you were happy here.”

He took another step towards her. She looked around to find no one near them. There were a few couples in the back of the room, but they were paying them no mind. The prince took her hand before she could react. “I think you know my fondness for you, Princess Anwen. It has only grown as I have gotten to know you. I have not met a woman as intelligent as you, and I find you very lovely. You are a little idealistic, but I know with age and maturity that will change. I think you and I would do very well together. You could lift my bad moods, and I could educate you further in the ways of the world.”

She tried to take her hand from his, but he would not let go. “Prince Korben, I believe I have been very open with you in that I do not see you in that way. I hope to remain friends with you as you know where my heart lies. I would not like to come between you and your nephew. I hope in the end we can all live here peacefully.”

“I hope that as well, princess. I know you still have hopes for the king, and I am willing to be patient for those hopes to die out. Soon, when you realize you cannot have King Maddoc, I hope you will not dismiss me.” He pulled her close and looked down at her. “I can do much for your kingdom. I can lift you up into a place of power even greater than the one you think you are destined to.” He brought his free hand up and touched her cheek. “I also know how to please a woman. I believe you are a very passionate lady, and I think you will find I can satisfy all your desires.”

She took a shuddering breath, feeling sick to her stomach. What he was suggesting could never be. She shook her head, and he took his hand off her cheek. “I wish to go to bed, Prince Korben. Please let me go.”

“Of course, my princess. I want to find a way to make you happy. I hope you know it.” He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it slowly before letting it go.

She pushed past him towards the doorway of the room. As she walked into the hall, she wiped her hand on her skirt. She wished Maddoc was there, and she could run to him. She would be satisfied now to just find the safety of her room. She should have paid more attention as she walked down the hall because as she passed an open door, a hand reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her through the doorway.

She blinked and found herself in a cold, dark room. Only one candle burned on a nearby table. The door to the room shut, and she turned to look. Lachlan gave her a small smile as he walked towards her.

“Finally, I have you alone, my love.” He came up to her and tried to grab her hand.

She stepped back. “How dare you drag me in here. I will go at once.” She walked towards the door, but he stepped in front of her and grabbed her arms. “Let me go, Lachlan.”

“No. Not until you listen to me. I want to tell you what happened this past year. You must understand that I never stopped loving you.”

“I have no interest in hearing anything you say. You have made a choice and given my cousin your promise in front of the entire court. You will marry her, and you will love her as you should.”

“No, Anwen, hang the court and Gwendolyn. I cannot spend my life with her. You are all that I see. Please, listen to me.” He gripped her arms tighter as she tried to break free.

She took a deep breath. “Fine, I will hear you, but you will let me go this instant. You will say what you have to say, and then you will let me leave.”

He looked at her and nodded. “Would you like to sit down?”

“No. I will stand as this better not take long.”

He stepped back from her towards the door. He appeared to be gathering his thoughts as Anwen crossed her arms in front of her. Prince Korben and Princess Meira had already thrown her off with their conversations and actions. Being in a room alone with Lachlan caused a small spark of fear to run through her. She pushed it down. She had known him her whole life. She was close to his family. He would do nothing to hurt her.

“Anwen, I know I have messed things up. I have been stupid, and I have made worse and worse decisions as I have gone on. I should have come to you first thing and confessed all. I was scared of losing you. I was scared of finding you disappointed in me. You have always been so good.”

“What were you scared of confessing to me? That your affections had changed to Gwendolyn? I became quite aware of that when you promised yourself to her without one word of warning to me.”

“No. That was a consequence of my first actions.” He ran his hand through his hair and looked at her. “I sometimes do not think things through. I believe you know this about me.”

“I do. I think I am even more aware of it now that you have dragged me in here. You cannot think this is wise.”

“It is the best decision I have made in a while. I have to tell you how I feel, Anwen. Now, two summers ago you know I went to visit my cousin in the south of the kingdom. He is a young lord who had just come into his inheritance as his father had died the winter before. I went to cheer him up and see how he was doing. I didn’t know I was traveling to a house party with depraved individuals.”

“If you found yourself so, why didn’t you leave immediately? You should have come back to Awbrey.”

“I tried to. I planned to stay one night and leave the next morning. I wanted to stay in my room, but my cousin was very persistent. He made me come to supper. He had me stay up and play card games with the other visitors. By the end of the night, I found myself quite intoxicated and very in debt.”

She shrugged. “So why did you not leave as you planned?”

“I told myself it was because I wish to win my money back. I knew father would be furious at the amount I lost, but to be honest I wanted to experience more of the activities from the night before. I knew soon I would be married to you, and I wanted to marry you. Not as bad as I do now, but I knew I loved you. I thought I would have a few nights of fun, and then travel back to become officially betrothed to you.”

“You mean you wanted to bed a few women before you had to settle with me?” She shook her head. “If this is what you have to tell me, I wish to leave now.”

“I was stupid, Anwen. I know this. I spent the next few nights drinking too much, and bedding women I can’t even remember now. At the moment, it seemed so exciting, but now it makes me feel so empty and wrong. I don’t know why I thought I needed to be with anyone but you.

“Towards the end of the week, I was starting to see how wrong I had been. I missed home, and most of all I missed you. I told my cousin I would leave the next day for sure this time, but that night, Princess Gwendolyn showed up at the house. She said she had planned to come for weeks, but I believe her Gift showed her what was going on.

“She has always had some fixation with me. She has flirted with me and tried to attract me, but I have never had any interest in her. She is beautiful, but she is so cold. She is nothing like you. You are everything warm and good. How could I ever want to be with her after knowing someone like you?”

“But I’m guessing something did happen with her at your cousin’s house, or we wouldn’t be where we are now.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know how it happened. I drank, but I don’t believe it was an exorbitant amount. She stayed by my side. I think she might have drugged me somehow. I gambled again. She kept touching me, whispering in my ear. I guess at some point we went to bed together because I woke up with her in my bed. Neither of us had any clothes on.

“She told me she knew everything I had done that week. When she told me how much I owed, I almost threw up. It was almost a fourth of the value of my father’s holdings. How could I tell him what I had done? How could I face you? Gwendolyn said she would have her mother pay all my debts. She would keep secret all I did if I agreed to marry her instead of you.

“I refused at first. I could not abandon you. I knew my heart belonged to you. At that moment, after I had ruined everything, I realized just what I fool I was. I had the love of the most impressive, loveliest woman in not just my kingdom but the whole land, and I had thrown it away for a week of fleeting pleasure.

“Gwendolyn said she would give me time to think over it. I returned home, wanting to tell you everything. All I wanted to do was confess to you what I had done and beg for forgiveness at your feet.”

“Why didn’t you?” asked Anwen. “As much as I shudder to think of it, I think I would have forgiven you. I would have found a way to help you with your father. The gods help me I still would have married you, naïve, stupid girl that I was.”

“I could not disappoint you in that way. I couldn’t face life knowing every day you would look at me and see a man who did you so wrong. I felt undeserving of your love. So, I pulled away from you as Gwendolyn pressured me. By spring, I agreed to her terms and fully betrayed you. It has broken my heart to do what I did. Every day all I have wanted is to run to you and tell you all.”

She turned from him and looked at the empty fireplace. All of this was why he had thrown her over. She had thought many nights about what could be wrong with her that he didn’t love her. She had blamed herself and found faults with who she was. She had doubted if love was real because of the worthless man behind her. It was him all along. He was not even remotely the man she thought he was. She laughed bitterly, thinking she should leave when she felt his arms go around her waist.

“My love, please forgive me,” he said as he bent down close to her face.

She could smell the strong scent of wine on his breath as he kissed her cheek, and the small spark of fear inside her grew. “You have been drinking too much.”

“Not enough to forget how much I love you. You remember your love for me, don’t you, Anwen? We were so right together.” He bent down and kissed her neck.

Anwen pushed as hard as she could and wiggled out of his embrace. “I remember the love I felt for you, Lachlan, but it died a long time ago. I want nothing to do with you. If it wasn’t for your family, I would make it so I never had to see you again. I will go now before you say or do anything else. I wish you much happiness with my cousin.”

She walked around him to the door. She opened it and stepped out in the hall, hoping he would not follow. Her hopes were dashed when he ran up behind her and grabbed her. He turned her around and pushed her up against the cold stone wall of the hall.

“You do love me, Anwen. You just need to be reminded of it.” He pinned her arms to the wall as he kissed her. She tried to turn her head, but he caught her lips forcefully. He took his hand off of one of her arms and pressed himself up against her as he grabbed her face. “You remember, don’t you. I love you, Anwen. Say you love me.”

She shook her head and tried to push him away. “Stop, please. Someone will see us.”

“It doesn’t matter to me if they do. I will marry you, dearest. It will all be as it should.” He kissed her again as he let go of her face, his hand moving to her side.

She thought she heard someone in the hall. She thought maybe they would help her. Surely, they wouldn’t just pass by seeing her try to push the man away. If someone was there, they did not intervene. She heard some shuffling and that was it. She was alone with him. There would be no one to stop him.

She could taste the wine he had drunk on his tongue as he forced it into her mouth. It made her want to wretch. His hand moved up her side, and she knew she could not stand his touch. Once she believed she craved his touch. She had responded with desire. Now, all it did was make her feel dirty. He had caused her so much pain, and she would not let him do anything else to her. He would not get what he wanted. Something within her snapped. He would not get away with this.

She gathered all the strength she had as one of his hands cupped her breast, and the other started gathering up her skirt. She put her hands on his chest, and taking a deep breath, she pushed with everything she had. As she did, she heard someone calling her name. Before she turned to the source, she brought up her leg and hit Lachlan somewhere that caused him to drop to his knees.

She looked up to see Prince Rillian running to her. He skidded to a stop before her as she adjusted her dress, taking deep breaths.

“Princess, are you alright?” he asked as he looked at her.

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and looked down at Lachlan. “I am, and I am very ready for bed. Would you mind walking with me?”

Prince Rillian looked down at Lachlan and then back to Anwen. He held out his arm to her. “Of course, princess. Let me escort you.”

She took his arm, and they walked around Lachlan, leaving him where he was. “Please Anwen,” Lachlan said from the ground. “I do love you. I do not want to hurt you.”

She didn’t even acknowledge he had spoken. She kept her head up and straight as she walked with Prince Rillian to the stairs. They walked up silently together, Anwen trying to still her breath. She was trying not to dwell on what had just happened as bile rose in her throat. They came to the second floor and turned towards her room. When they got to the door, she let go of his arm.

Prince Rillian carefully took her hand. “Princess Anwen, are you sure you are well?” He hesitated for a moment. “I saw what he was trying to do, and I know you did not want it.”

“No, I did not, but in the end, he did not get what he wanted.”

“You will have to tell someone. Your mother and your king should know.”

She glanced up. “My king?”

The prince chuckled a little. “Yes, your king. I think he is due back sometime soon. He will want to know about this. That man should be held accountable for what he has done. I will face him for you if I have to.”

She shook her head. “No, I want no fighting on account of me. I want to forget it happened.”

“But no man should get away with what he just tried.”

“I think many men get away with much more than he did, Prince Rillian. He is betrothed to my cousin, and the brother to my dearest friend. His grandfather is like a father to me. I cannot cause such pain to my family and friends. I will avoid him completely, but I cannot put such a burden on those I love.”

“Do you not remember what I told you? You are not meant to carry your burdens alone. Those that love you would not want you to hide this. Please, think about it, at least.”

She nodded. “I will, but now I just wish to rest. I thank you for helping me.”

“I’m not sure how much I helped. It looked as though you had it well under control. He will feel the effects for a little while, I think.” The prince grinned a little. “Are you sure you will be alright alone?”

“I am sure. I just need to rest. Good night, Prince Rillian.”

Prince Rillian patted her hand. “Good night, princess. If you do need me for anything at any time, I hope you know you can ask.”

“I do. Thank you.” She smiled at him the best she could before she opened her door and stepped in.

The room was empty, but a fire burned brightly. Mrs. Owens must still have been downstairs tending to something. Anwen moved to her bedroom. Her head was full of awful images. She could still taste the wine on Lachlan's lips. She could feel his touch on her. Her back was sore from where he had shoved her against the wall, and she wouldn’t be surprised if bruises would form on her arms where he held her.

Above all, she felt unclean and vulnerable. She hated the feeling. She always prided herself on being a strong woman, but standing in her bedroom, she felt small, lost, and filthy. Perhaps a bath might help a little, but what she really wanted was Maddoc. It was silly to think just him holding her would make things better, but she wasn’t sure how straight her thinking was at the moment. All she knew was what she wanted most was him.

She paced around her bedroom, not sure what to do. Tears started falling from her eyes, and she didn’t try to stop them. She let them flow down her cheeks. Though she tried and tried to still her breath, it just became heavier and faster. Her heart beat so fast, she thought it might leap out of her chest. Before she realized what she was doing, she opened the wall in her room. She grabbed a candle and lit it, walking quickly through the passageway.

She opened the wall and entered Maddoc’s bedroom to find it empty and dark. She put down her candle and walked over to his bed, falling on it. Kicking off her slippers, she moved to the center of the large bed, curling up and closing her eyes. She took deep breaths as she sobbed. Eventually with the memory of being love and held by Maddoc in her head, and his scent that came from his bed enveloping her, Anwen cried herself to sleep.