The were-witch was the one that got away. He healed me and made me fall for him.
A long time ago, I didn't mind that he didn't see me aside from his sexual partner until I couldn't then I left him.
After Gerold, I've learned to love my king and I've failed to be loved in return once again. Maybe it has always been me. Maybe I am unlovable.
*****
"I don't know... will the curse actually breaks? what if it gets worse, well maybe death is coming. Um... I don't think I mind anymore."
There was sadness in Savaric's eyes, though his words were spoken without any hesitation. I looked at him then at Gerold. Finding my way back to the were-witch was easy. He still lives in his secluded cottage, the man looked older, but it only made him more irresistible, making me give in easily the second he cornered and kissed me.
"I am a very powerful witch, I know I'm better than the witch who cursed you down to hell. He or she will be dead by now, so it'll be easy enough for me to break the spell. Unless you don't want me to?" Gerold stroked Savaric's hair soothingly.
And there it was the familiar tug of jealousy. I shook my head and left the room. I hate this, I hate having the feeling of never enough, not for Armand, not for Gerold. Stepping outside of his cottage, I try to find comfort in the serene surrounding. The sky was dark, the moon was out and the air was cooler. There was a striking difference between this realm and the hellish terrain, that had been home for so long.
I didn't know where I'd go once Savaric was healed. Maybe I'll jump between realms and spend the rest of my life, licking my wound there.
The first time I accidentally threw my injured body through the portal and found myself in the backyard of Gerold's home, I sagged in relief. None of the demons that were hunting me managed to find me, but when my eyes locked into Gerold's I have a gut feeling that he was going to be my savior. I was not wrong and falling in love with him was easy, but leaving him was way harder than I expected. But I did it and decades later, I was back and he was still at his cottage, looking more handsome than the first time I met him.
I thought I love Armand, maybe I did, but seeing Gerold was like jumping my heart back to life. The familiar smell, surroundings, and his gentle touches, all made the feelings I had hidden come rushing back onto the surface.
"So, Savaric decided to stay and let me break the spell for him."
"Good, maybe you'll be happy with him. I need to go back anyway."
I didn't. I actually wouldn't know where I'd go if I decided to go back to hell. But I was not going to let him know that. The ache squeezes my chest and I clenched my jaw trying to get rid of the feeling. Gerold didn't love me then, he wouldn't love me now.
"You know I was young and stupid when I let you go, right?" his voice was smooth and the tightness in my chest broke a little.
"You don't have to say such things because we fucked while I'm here." I spat the words, maybe a bit too harsh, but I was not trying to get him back. I know he didn't think of me that way.
"Magnus," he stepped closer and put his hand on my chest, trailing higher to the back of my neck and kissed me then whispered, "I'm sorry, It was stupid, I loved you and I panicked,"
His latest confession made me pull back and still, trying to catch what he was implying. We never talked about his reasons, I just assumed it was me.
"Why?"
"As I said, I was young, I just found my coven. I just felt like I belonged. And I was afraid that they would find out about you. Beings like you are magical, special," his words were soft as he put his palm on my cheek and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, which made him smile beautifully.
"I didn't want them to find you and used you to their advantage."
"So you break my heart and let me go, rather than explain it to me. You didn't think I can't handle your coven?"
"I told you I'm sorry and it's not like I can walk into hell to come and find you, you didn't exactly come back and give us a second chance." He looked at me accusingly.
"So, what do you want to do with us now?" I brave myself to ask the question. I wanted him, and I still do. I didn't dare to put myself to love him again, but I did lust for him since I was back at his place. Repeatedly.
"I want you to stay, I want things to work out between us, and hope that someday you will love me again."
"I did love you," I said softly while kissing the top of his head, breathing in his earthly scent that I couldn't get enough of.
"I still do, I've never loved anyone else after you. I tried, but I couldn't." There was truth in his voice and I let him close our distance until there wasn't any.
Gerold hugged me, wrapped his arms around my body, and rested his head on my shoulder and I hugged him tighter, my wings wrapped around him knowing that he loves the feeling. I smiled when I felt his body relaxes in my embrace.
"Tell me something... you kept on flirting with Savaric, do you like him?" I tried not to get jealous, I really did. But the thought of him loving others and leaving me loveless didn't sit well in my mind.
"I like him," he shrugged, "but I love you, and I like it that you're jealous because of him. Call me selfish but I like the thought that I can still make you feel jealous. Because that means you still have feelings for me." He pressed his lips and we get lost in our kiss for the longest time. "And I'll take whatever emotion I can get from you."
"So what, you see us having threesomes in our future?" I arched my brow and then squinted my eyes trying to read the truth from his facial expression.
"Any future you're offering. I'll take it, just don't leave?" his hand was trailed upward, his slim fingers curled around and started caressing my neck.
"What if I want Savaric gone?"
"I will find him a safe place to go, but tell me honestly, do you want him gone?"
I growled knowing the stupid ex-gargoyle was growing on me. I may not lust for him, but I didn't wish to send him away to face his doom. Maybe I was just being nice, but I certainly didn't want him gone.
"No."
"I thought so too," Gerold smiled smugly at me.
"Now, would you please kiss me and hold my ass like you mean it?"
I growled to his demand and did exactly that. The man opened his mouth and let me taste him, the walls inside me threatened to break but I was holding them up. I didn't want to fall for him, not yet... not until I know he loves me with all his heart. Not when Savaric was there gaining his attention.
Wanting his lust was different from needing his love. I can survive with lust.
"We should go inside. He's waiting for me."
I groaned and walked by his side when he certainly wasn't letting me go to wait outside. Maybe he needed my energy, I know witches sometimes absorb energy from other beings for their strength.
Whatever he needed me to do, I will be there for as long as he wants me to. I care about the were-witch, I could be there for him. Supporting him when needed.