69. Another Oddity

I just stared silently at my mother's grave for a few seconds before I finally exhaled loudly and closed my eyes for a moment. There was nothing I could say if I came here, and I could only feel sad. Rion followed me silently beside me as he also stared at my mother's grave.

"How does it feel to wait in uncertainty?" asked Rion, breaking the silence between us.

"It's tiring, but I always think there's hope. Did I go through something stupid all this time?"

It was my turn to ask, but Rion was silent. He exhaled loudly and said, "You didn't lose hope back then. Unlike some people who may have gone through more difficult things, hope for them is a myth. It's not easy being a positive person like you."

I agree with that. Even on several occasions, I had thought of just giving up on my mother's situation. However, again, I didn't want to give up because the hope inside me, although small, still wanted to believe. The wind blew away the fallen leaves, making some parts of this place covered with dry leaves again, even though someone had cleaned this place before.

"It feels so heavy that I have to leave this city after marrying you, and again, I feel scared of the royal throne seat that I never imagined before," I admitted with mixed feelings, but I was more afraid.

"Your life will be better in Cardinia, I promise."

Rion's words were confident, but I was uncertain about myself. I thought I was not destined to be the queen of a country. I smiled sadly and grabbed Rion's hand, which wasn't wearing a shirt. Even though the weather was cold now, his hand was still warm.

I stared at Rion's hand as I noticed every detail. His fingers were neither too big nor slender, but he was very good at cooking.

"If you had to choose to lose one of your limbs, what would you sacrifice?"

It's a random question, but I wanted to know how much Rion thought about himself.

"I will sacrifice my eyes. You can be my eye, and in the future, I will look for a donor to replace my missing eye."

I laughed at Rion's reasonable answer; it amused me.

"Not a bad answer," I said, still with the residual humor I felt.

"Come on, let's go home. It's cold, and you'll catch a cold," Rion invited, to which I nodded in response. I chatted with him again in the car on returning to my apartment.

"How about you hand over the throne to another family member? Would you be willing to do that?"

"You have nothing to be afraid of, Amelia," interrupted Rion, who I felt was getting a little annoyed and stressed by my questions. I turned my face out the window and stared blankly at the cars and people passing by.

"I don't think I can accept this, whereas Varia, who is obsessed with you in my position, might be able to."

"So you want me to marry Varia, and you'll see me sitting with her on the throne, leading the kingdom and having offspring? Is that it?"

Rion's question was like a needle piercing my heart. Just imagining it was already painful, let alone if it happened. However, I wondered about my ability to keep up with Rion when he sat on the throne as his queen.

"I'm not your equal, Rion."

"Enough of this silly talk, Amelia; you can talk but not on this subject again," demanded Rion, who I could see was depressed as I turned to him for a moment. I smiled with the bitterness I felt in my mouth and tongue due to our reality. I had to find a way to feel equal to him. We were silent until we reached my apartment. I had no intention of saying anything else; I just wanted to think things through with a clear mind and without the intervention of others.

"You should take care of your resignation letter to Miracle Law because next week, this city will become a memory for you; you will move to Cardinia starting next week."

"What about the event my father wants to hold here?"

"We'll come back here after our wedding in Cardinia is over. You and I just came here for the occasion," Rion explained, which made me nod. Rion cupped my face with both hands and looked at me seriously.

"Don't have any more bad thoughts; you won't suffer anymore when you're with me in Cardinia, do you understand?"

"I'm used to suffering. It seems strange that I can be happy just because I married a man; do I deserve this luck?"

Rion exhaled and kissed me. I need him to calm me down tonight. Today, I missed work because I was tired, my body ached, and my calves were sore. Ever since I got pregnant, I have felt tired easily, even though I've been eating nutritious food, taking vitamins, and such.

"I have to go back to the office; there are documents I need to check as soon as possible." Rion ended our kiss and intimate position.

"Can you stay here tonight? I need to calm down before our wedding day."

When Rion smiled at my request, I felt a little better. Rion nodded and walked out of my apartment. I ignored the messages on my cell phone until a strange number called me. At first, I debated whether to answer it, but I answered out of curiosity.

"So you're ditching me now?"

I recognize this voice, Karina. I smile, put the potato chips into my mouth, and chew them. The crunchy sound made when I chew these chips amuses me.

"I'm sorry, your contact information with my old number was thrown away," I replied, admitting my unintentional mistake. Karina snorted out a reprimanding sound.

"So, where are you now? How are you doing? Are you back with Rion?"

All of Karina's questions sounded like difficult school exam questions to me.

"I'm still in Loxen and working at Miracle Law. I'm doing fine and well; I'm back again with Rio; I'm moving to Cardinia next week."

Karina gave a long whistle on the other side, which sounded mocking; I smiled wryly.

"You're going to seem far away to me. I didn't expect you to become the queen of a country. Amelia, who was once known only to me, will soon be known to everyone, maybe even the world."

Karina's comment made me a little uneasy. It sounded scary; I'd have to meet a lot of people, and right now, I wasn't done with my confidence issues.

"You make it sound scary to me," I scolded as I was still busy finishing my chips and occasionally focusing on the television drama I watched.

"I did it on purpose so that you wouldn't go and leave me. Ah, you're so bad; you go far away once you leave. I don't like dealing with complicated bureaucracy to say Hi to you and ask how you're doing."

Karina's scolding added to the amusement I needed to take my mind off my confidence issues and worries about my life after marrying Rion.

"You know, I asked Rion to hand over his throne to another family member."

I looked at my nails, which I felt needed maintenance. The pale pink polish had started to flake off.

"Gosh, Amelia, you think he would do that for you? Rion is an ambitious man who is, unfortunately, responsible. He has to fulfill his responsibilities as the sole heir, and his ambition supports him."

Hearing Karina state the facts, I fell silent and felt even worse.

Was I wrong again?

The question made me giddy.

"Hi, M, are you still there?"

Karina's voice calling out to me distracted me from my messy thoughts.

"Yeah, I decided to accept Rion back, right? Is it better for me to live alone and raise this child alone?"

"Whether it's fate or coincidence, you chose to deal with Rion from the beginning. Even when you tried to avoid him, he found you. Can that be called a coincidence? All I know is that there are no coincidences in this world."

"I'll come this Wednesday to see you. Give me your address, and I'll be a good listener when you want to speak out about all your troubles. I have to go; I stole some time between my work hours to call you, so we have to meet on Wednesday, okay?"

"Alright, Wednesday," I replied as I nodded even though Karina didn't see it. After ending my call with Karina, I got ready to go to the doctor and check on my pregnancy. I was thinking of seeing how my baby was doing after the trip to the mountain and the fishing.

When I arrived at the doctor's office and started the ultrasound, I saw confusion on the female doctor's face. I looked over at the screen displaying the state of my fetus, but I couldn't understand what was wrong with it.

"Did something happen to my fetus?" I asked, not knowing where the fault lay.

"I think it's broken; the fetus isn't showing on the screen," the doctor replied, causing me to look back at the screen that would typically display what the ultrasound was capturing.

"Really? Oh, that's too bad; I wanted to know how the fetus was doing after going for a mountain walk and fishing yesterday."

The doctor smiled and said, "He's fine; you don't have any complaints other than being tired?"

I nodded in response to the doctor.

"The device will be fixed soon, and you can return in the next two days." The doctor told me, to which I nodded again. But as I left the doctor's office, I felt something was wrong with this situation.

"Why is the device suddenly broken?" I grumbled and wondered at the same time. It had never happened before. I returned to the apartment with my mind still wandering.

Maybe I was the one worrying too much.

That assumption stopped me for a moment from thinking about the state of my fetus that I couldn't know today.