Chapter 14: No Hatred

Chapter 14: No Hatred
The morning sun streamed through the blinds, casting long stripes across the room. The air was thick with remnants of last night... lingering alcohol and distant memories of a crazy experience.

Capri groaned as she stirred, her head pounding like a drum. She forced her eyes open squinting against the light. The soft, unfamiliar bedding beneath her felt too nice and different which made her mind race to catch up with her senses. She lifted her hand to her forehead and winced at the wave of nausea that followed. What happened?

Her eyes darted around the room, registering for the first time that she wasn't in her own bed. Slowly, the memory started coming back. The club. Getting wasted. The confusion. Then Chyler. The warm comfort of her arms around her when she had gotten there.

Capri sighed, rolling to her side. Her stomach churned but this time, it was the feeling of dread, guilt, and vulnerability creeping over her like a wave. The room was empty with no signs that Chyler had slept there. She forced herself to sit up slowly, rubbing her eyes. She had no recollection of how she had gotten there or what exactly had happened. It all felt like an overwhelming blur.

Then the bedroom door opened and Chyler walked in carrying a glass of some greenish substance.

"You are awake." Chyler smiled from the doorway. "Morning."

Capri blinked trying to gather herself. "Morning," she managed but wasn't sure how to proceed.

Chyler stepped closer, setting the glass on the nightstand next to her. "Drink this. It will be a good idea if you don't smell it."

"What is it?" Capri asked, eyeing the glass warily.

"Ask after you have drunk it," Chyler said. "Also, chug it." Capri hesitated for a second before she grabbed the glass and chugged half its contents. She set the rest away, making a face that elicited a laugh from Chyler. "Blended spinach, celery, lemon, and some beet juice."

"Oh God!" Capri muttered and rubbed her temples. "How do people do it everyday? I certainly don't want to be in this situation ever again."

Chyler smiled softly, sitting down at the edge of the bed. Her eyes softened as she studied her. "Last night was quite rough."

"Yeah," Capri sighed, cringing on the statement. Her shoulders slumped. Everything was coming back to her slowly now that she was awake and kind of sober. "I didn't plan on going to the club. It just sort of... happened." She paused yo choose her words carefully. "I just felt like I needed to feel free for once. To not be perfect or controlled. To not be the person everyone expects me to be." She shook her head. Her voice was bitter and defeated. "I'm tired, Chy. I'm tired of pretending."

Chyler watched her for a moment, her gaze steady. "I get that," she said quietly. "But you scared me last night. I had no idea what was going on and I didn't know if you were okay."

Capri smiled, even though weakly. Something about Chyler's expression as she said that, even though she knew it wasn't fair, made her feel good. She held her gaze. "I never intended to worry you, I swear. I just wanted to let loose for a little while after keeping everything bottled up for years."

Chyler nodded in understanding. Then, "Caden came looking for you at your parents' then here. He made a whole fuss about it, accusing me of things... that's how I knew you were missing."

Her face faltered at the mention of Caden. "I'm so sorry about that. He doesn't get it... He has been trying to keep me on a leash and I needed to get away from all that. So I lied to him." She shook her head. "My parents are not home and they are not going to be for months. If he knew that he wouldn't have let me go."

"I'd say that's sane especially at this time with a killer on the loose."

"Yeah, it's not about that for him," she chuckled weakly. "He is just scared that he is losing control and realizing the truth we have both known for years." Their gazes held for a tense moment. "I didn't marry him out of love."

Chyler's expression softened and Capri felt the slightest touch of her hand on hers. She looked down, taking in the contact, familiarizing herself with how good it felt to be that close to her.

"You shouldn't have to live like that, Capri." She paused for a long beat, searching her eyes. The edge of concern didn't leave her voice. "Right now, it's running away and being reckless in a nightclub, drinking yourself into oblivion. But is that the only way to escape?" Her eyes flickered with a familiar warmth but there was something else under the surface. "Be honest with me. What were you really running away from last night?"

Capri's chest tightened. It wasn't the question she had expected. Chyler wasn't scolding her for being reckless. She was just concerned and it made her feel too exposed.

"I— I don't know," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I feel like I'm losing control of everything. I don't know how to keep it together anymore, Chyler. It's scary because it's what I'm used to. And I don't trust myself enough to know that if all that crashes down, I'm going to be okay. Who will I be without it?"

She looked up, her eyes filled with so many unsaid things. She felt a wave of emotion threaten to spill over but she kept it in check. She wasn't ready to fall apart or admit that maybe she had no idea who she was anymore or where she was headed.

Chyler gave her a reassuring smile and a hand squeeze. "Let's start with today, okay? I'm here whenever you need me. I'm not going anywhere."

Capri chuckled softly, more than relieved. She leaned closer, resting her head on Chyler's shoulder, letting herself be a little vulnerable. The air between them shifted in the proximity. "I thought you hated me, you know?" she whispered.

"What? Why?"

Capri bit her lower lip, her voice soft with emotion. "Back in highschool when I hurt you, I thought you could never forgive me for that. And now, with everything that has happened... me kissing you and the confusion. I thought you hated me for all of it. That's why you kept avoiding me."

Chyler's heart clenched at the words. She draped an arm around her, holding her closer. "There has never been hatred on my part about any of it. I could never hate you even if I tried." She paused then turned. Capri looked up and met her gaze. "I don't hate you, Capri. If anything, I hate myself for never moving on from you," she chuckled.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Capri's eyes softened as she leaned into Chyler's touch, feeling the warmth she longed for— that had been lacking in years. "I miss you. I really do."

The words lingered in the air between them. Fragile but deep. Chyler's heart skipped several beats. Her mouth went dry as her gaze shifted between Capri's eyes and lips. She parted her lips to say something but before she could, the sound of small footsteps running across the room interrupted them.

"Aunt Chy!" Major called out followed by his giggles.

They pushed away quickly at the same time. An involuntary smile crossed her face as Major launched himself at her. She caught him in her arms laughing. "What's up, little man?"

Major giggled, squirming in her arms. "I want breakfast!"

Chyler laughed and gave Capri an apologetic look. "Looks like we will have to finish this conversation later."

"That's alright. Go feed the little monster first," she smiled.

She watched Chyler go, her heart a mixture of emotions. Happy, grateful, conflicted... There were things to figure out between them but at that moment, she was just happy Chyler was keeping her, not at arm's length.

Maybe there was a way they could get through this after all. She smiled and followed them to the kitchen.