36. All I knew was wrong.

36. All I knew was wrong.
My head aches slightly as I come back to my senses. But, at least through the dull throbbing I feel like I can breathe once more. I am back in bed it seems, tucked in and mercifully alone. At least I believe it to be a mercy, I cannot decide, because there is a strange bereft feeling to my circumstances. I know he is not here with me before I have even opened my eyes, and the knowledge leaves me with an uncomfortable sense of longing rooted deep within my chest. I dislike it immensely; but if it is the sensation or his absence I mourning I am honestly unsure.I  open my eyes to the same room as before, my eyes locked upon the screen like wall where the bathing pool resides, I cannot help the tears which flow, dripping to the pillow below as I feel so overwhelmed with everything going on. How is this possible and why is it happening to me? It is my gentle sobs which must bring the attention of the other person in the room with me. A person who I was not aware of until the moment their voice startles me from my indulgent display of self pity.

"Oh Catherine, please do not cry." The soft feminine voice reaches me. 

A kind face with familiar grey eyes look over me as I take in the young woman with dark hair before me in shock.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to frighten you. My name is Mira. Caspian is my brother, he asked me to stay with you until he returned." She says kindly, handing me a hankerchief to wipe my eyes. "You have had quite the time of it, and men can be so full on in their expectations. They forget to give us time to just be, and process our grief."

I look at her with an accidental frown, I can feel her concern but I do not know her, and I am so tired from all that has occurred since I first met Caspian upon the beach. How I long to have not gone fishing that morning. Although, then I would also likely be deceased along with my parents. The thought brings another melancholy wave over me as I think about the loss Lord Sorrell never let me dwell upon.

Caspian, how does saying his name so informally come so naturally to my mind, yet with Edward I had to train myself to speak with him on the level of familiarity he beseeched me for, and even now I still slip into the habits of formality. I am at such a loss over it all. But, Mira sldoes seem genuine, and I cannot help but crave the kindness she wishes to bestow.

"Can I get you some water to drink?" She asks me.

I can only nod in response, my throat too parched to form words even though before I could form a mental response, she passed me a mother of pearl goblet with soft edges to protect my lips from the shell's sharpness. I drink deeply, feeling better instantly; not whole, and only slightly better but better none the less. I manage to clear my choked throat now, and finally find my voice.

"Thank you." I say, smiling politely and am awarded a beautiful smile in return that lights up this young woman's face entirely. But like most women I have met, I can still sense the hints of sadness lurking behind her bright grey eyes.

"It is my pleasure," she smirks, moving to sit beside me in a most delicate manner; either from respect or so as to not scare me, though which like most things I am unsure. "However, I do think we have some pressing matters to attend to." She adds, "Before my brother returns and chases his good sense in more circles, completely forgetting the obvious in his desperation to see you well."

I cannot help but allow the smallest titter of laughter to slip past my lips at her familial words over Caspian. 

"I am going to spirit you away for some food, Catherine. Would you like to escape this room with me?" She asks conspiratorally. 

"Am I allowed to leave?" I ask unsure, hesitation lacing my every thought.

Mira only laughs. 

Finally after enough time that I am even more uncomfortable she looks back to me and answers, "You are not a prisoner. Despite Caspian's blundering attempts to see you safe.  Besides, it will be good for him if you shake up his countenance a little, and I was asked to watch over you, not keep you locked up. You need food, and I believe you could also use a tour. So, would you like to join me on a walk to one of our smaller banquet rooms and I shall answer some of your questions, and you can get some food and a better understanding of where you are and what is going on?"

My own face is matching her smile now. For the first time in months, someone has given me a choice and I cannot help but feel ridiculously indebted to this woman because of that. Before I know it, Mira has helped me to redress, aided me in tidying my hair and cleaning up my face, and we are mercifully, soon on our way out of these rooms.  We walk gently down the impressive halls and now that I am moving slower I am able to take more in of my surroundings. 

It is uniquely breath taking.

"The walls are a polished pearl that was gifted to out people by Llyr when he created us. We are his children, made from his blood and gifted with the diluted ability to manipulate water." Mira's words penetrate my thoughts and gain my attention from the irridescent hallways about us.

"Llyr?" I ask unsure.

She smiles warmly, before replying, "He is also known as Poseidon, or Neptune, Tangaroa, or Suijin. There are too many names to list them all, but he is our creator and for a time your people knew us. You see, because of our gifts, Llyr worried that we would become too powerful. In some, like my brother, their control of the water is so complete it could challenge a god if desired. Not, that Caspian ever would, he has only ever cared for two things. His people, and you."

"Me? But why? I am just a farmer's daughter." I ask incredulous, it seems all I have ever believed is false.

"You are his mate. Your origins have no bearing on the matter, only your soul." Mira smiled, reaching across to squeeze my arm affectionately.

"His mate?" I ask, feeling almost more confused.

"Yes, because of Llyr's fear, he made it that we could only mate and reproduce with one human partner, our soul mate. We become tethered to them and in doing so, transfer some of ourselves so they can survive in our world. When we are twelve cycles old, we have a sort of coming of age ceremony. It is called the sealg anam. Then when we return with our mates we are raised together, because the lifestyle changes are easier to become accustomed to from a young age."

I stop dead in the hallway.

"Caspain tried to take me when I was a child. When I was only eight. He was how I ended up so far out to sea. My leg..." I frown looking down at my now painless leg.

"Yes, his ceremony was interrupted by our Uncle, there were fishing nets, and he cut your tether to save my brother. Until earlier this year we all believed you were dead. The severing of an incomplete sealg anam transition is so unspeakably dangerous, and you would have been at high risk of drowning or even other predators of the deep. It was always my brother's greatest shame. He spent so much time out at sea, then years later he found you. We could scarcely believe it." She explained making me frown. "The nets must have been what saved you, was the fisherman close by?"

"I... I awoke on the boat, I cannot tell you more." 

This is so much information.

"Wait, you said we. Who else was..." I ask confused at the lack of people around.

"Our people, Caspian is our future King, and you, our Queen, Catherine. Without you, he would not have been able to ascend the throne, and after my own mate's death," her voice wobbles. "The throne would have been passed to our cousin."

I can only look at her and tilt my head. Her pain is so obvious, and it guts me. Before I know why, my instincts compel me to wrap her in my arms, wishing to offer her comfort, even if I cannot remove her pain.

"Thank you," She whispers as she leans into me before pulling back, "But come, we must feed you."

I smile in return as she proceeds to lead me further through the maze that this underwater palace is.

"I fear I could easily get lost here," I mutter under my breath, causing Mira to giggle.

"Caspian would never allow such a thing. You will get used to it, the palace may be vast but It is safe, and your connection means you will always be able to find one another." Mira responds in an attempt to comfort me.

But the sentiment falls somewhat short. How can I find comfort in the thought of never being able to escape him. The man who forced me here. I force a smile, ignoring Mira's puzzlement when it does not reach my eyes.

"Now, here we are." Mira states, leading me into a small dining chamber. "Come, sit." She insists, leading me to a small table while she moves to the table made of the same strange furniture in Caspian's chambers.

Mira brings back a small tray with more mother of pearl plates and on the plates are a different selection of foods which I am surprised to recognise.

"Sweet bread? Jam? But we are underwater?" I ask in all astonishment. "How?"

Mira laughs playfully, "We are half human, Catherine, and we were not always taken as children."

"Yes, but the wheat and the fruit. How does it grow?" I ask next, taking a bite of the bread with a moan. I did not realise just how hungry I was.

"We have islands where we grow our supplies before bring them below. It is not all that complicated." Mira interjects at my abject wonder.

"Not all that complicated? Forgive me, but I can barely understand how there is so much light down here, never mind jam?!" I laugh, feeling wonderfully at ease in the company of another woman.

"Oh, the spires allow for that." Mira states, a dark look crossing her features before she continues. "They are lined with mirrored walls and connect down throughout the palace from the surface. Then the extend above us in hidden channels that can be opened or closed depending on the level of light required. The at night, we have luminescent creatures in sections of the walls that light our way in return for sanctuary and food. Simple."

I just shake my head, "I am not even going to pretend with you that I understand a word of what you just said. Luminescent?"

"They make the water of their homes glow, thus providing light." She simplifies for me. "Caspian will show you if you ask."

"Is it magic?" I ask, ignoring once again how she talks sweetly of her brother to me.

"Only in the way that we are all one form of magic or another, to them I am sure it is magical to hear you sing." Mira answers just as I get a strange tugging sensation within my gut that makes me frown."Are you well?" She enquires, reaching across to me.

"I... I am unsure. I think so?" I reply just as we hear footsteps making their way towards us. "It feels..."

"Lady Mira?" Comes a strangely formal voice. "Who do we have here?"