Chapter 38 — Tteokbokki

“Were… you the one?” I softly inquired, just the thought of raising my voice would inflict the fear in me that the whole world would find out. “Were you the one who wanted the divorce?”

“No. If it wasn’t made obvious by your mother, which I’m sure she didn’t hold back on her opinions on me, she was the first one to suggest it.”

The kettle behind us wasn’t singing yet, its bottom just fresh on the fire. Sitting across each other, our gazes never meeting, we remained silent for a few moments. My mind taking it all in then once it was finally finished comprehending, I asked another question.

“Do you miss her?”

“I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t.” He chuckled, playing with his fingers. “There are days when I stop and think… if we weren’t divorced, I would have watched you grow up right in front of my eyes. I missed out on a lot of birthdays and other important events in your life that I wished I should’ve stopped Bernadette from leaving. But sometimes, your ego gets wounded. Especially when the person who’s leaving is the same one you vowed to never let go.”

“So you regret it… letting her go?”

“I do. Every single day of my life, I regret letting you and your mother walk out of this house. Bernadette may not have shown it, but she longed for freedom. To be in her own land. She didn’t feel like South Korea was her home. She just saw it as a place to visit, not to stay. And she did exactly that.”

“And that is one of the reasons she wanted a divorce?”

“Barely the surface of it,” he mumbled. “When we got married, I felt like the marriage was only for show. Your mother at that time was quite the curious one. I was even quite surprised when I found out the reason why she came here to South Korea.”

“Which is?”

An uncomfortable smile spread across his face as if what he was about to say would only embarrass me. I urged him to go on, curious as well.

“Well… she was interested in the culture here, obviously. Said that when her classmates invited her to their house for a slumber party, they watched Korean dramas. Long story short, she got sucked into that hole. Bernadette came into my life while I was in my third year in university as an exchange student. She was pushy at times, foreign women often scare me and she was no exception to that. However, we continued to meet up and fell in love. But who would’ve known that her interest would be short-lived?”

Observing my father’s expression, one wouldn’t be able to understand what he’s going through right now unless you know him inside out. Even as his daughter, I couldn’t read what was going on inside his mind and know the emotion bubbling within him. Still, he was human and the only logical thing I could say is that he was angry at her.

Was.

“One last question,” I whispered. “If you regret letting her go, how would you have convinced her to remain here?”

“Now that’s simple…” he grinned lightly, rubbing his chin to appear cool and intelligent like those men in detective movies aimed for children. “If I were given the chance again, I would’ve groveled on my feet and begged her to stay. I know it’s not a great image, but I would show her that I just couldn’t live without her.”

“If you do that, it will just motivate her to leave even more. Don’t you think that’s even the greatest revenge you could give? Knowing that person would die without you, yet you still walked out on them?”

Pointing out the obvious made Dad sigh in defeat and sheepishly scratching his head. “She won’t stay, especially with that kind of act, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Well, when it comes down to it, I’ll do my very best… which I should’ve done all those years ago.” Reaching his hand out, he rubbed my head gently. “I’m sure you have suffered a lot without me by your side.”

“Um, not really…”

“Oh.”

“But it would’ve been nice to have a father right by my side while growing up.”

“I’ll talk to Bernadette. It’s about time for us to have a long chat.”

» — ✣ — «

Spicy. If it weren’t for the cheese mixed into it, I was sure my nose would be runny with just a whiff of this dish Grandma decided to make. It was supposed to be some sort of snack, however, Aurelius wasn’t hungry that afternoon so she opted to make it as some sort of appetizer for tonight’s dinner. Tasked with helping her in the kitchen despite not knowing many recipes, all I could do was chop vegetables and any other needed ingredients for whatever she was about to cook. And doing so wasn’t going to let me escape from her mouth that resembled a machine gun that was relentless on asking me questions.

“Where did you meet this man?”

“Is he really a millionaire? Your father mentioned it to me a while ago. Is he filthy rich?”

“He’s British right? Has he met the Queen of England?”

Trying my best not to bite my tongue, I turned to face her and sighed. “Grandma, for the last time, yes he is a millionaire and no he hasn’t met the queen. And I met him through my friend, now will you let me chop these peppers—Ow! Why did you do that?” Narrowing my eyes in annoyance at my grandmother who pinched my side, I gritted my teeth.

What’s wrong with her? She wasn’t this aggressive back then!

She shook her head, wagging a finger at me. “That’s not how you talk to your elders, Seo-Yoon! Didn’t your mother teach you that? Honestly, young people nowadays are so rude…” Grandma continued to ramble non-stop while stirring the soup in the pot, throwing in some spices while at it. It just goes to show how she was already used to cooking these dishes every day. Something my own mother lacked, we usually just did take-outs or have her friends come over to cook for us.

“Put this at the dining table, it’s finished.”

Taking the bowl of tteokbokki, I went straight to the dining room. English words said hesitantly and Aurelius’ thick British accent is audible in the living room. Peeking to see what they were up to, I almost dropped the bowl I was holding when I saw Dad pointing at a picture of a baby that I was all too familiar with. He and Mom had the same picture. Hurriedly putting the bowl away, I rushed to the scene and took the photo away from him. The two men, eyes wide, gazed at me in surprise.

“A-Alex, is there something wrong?”

Paying Aurelius no heed, I felt all the hairs of my body stand as I addressed my father. “Appa! Why are you showing him my pictures?”

“What’s wrong with that? Isn’t he your boyfriend—I mean, your future boyfriend?”

“Dad, there is literally no difference with what you just said.” I deadpanned and received a round of laughter. Aurelius looked confused as ever. “Aurelius, don’t mind my father, he’s just quite lonely that’s why he’s picking on me.”

“O-oh.” Aurelius chuckled, standing up from his seat to take the picture from my hand. “If it makes you happy, you were quite cute back then and to this day.”

Father cleared his throat, making Aurelius and I distance ourselves from each other. “All right, let’s flirt later and eat dinner first, shall we?” As we watch him walk away, the two of us burst out in our own little laughter. Despite it being a bit awkward between us at times, I could never have this sense of comfort whenever I’m around my own mother. If that display of affection was done right in front of her, she would definitely have scolded me. And not just scold me in the normal way, but public humiliation.

Aurelius doesn’t need to see that.

Dinner went along smoothly, with my grandmother entertaining and feeding Aurelius to her heart’s content. Dad and I could only watch in pity as Aurelius struggled to chew and swallow as quickly as the spoon meets his mouth. The old lady has no mercy on the man and his fragile stomach that probably hasn’t eaten spicy dishes as much as what he ate today.

“Boy, where would you sleep tonight?” Grandma questioned sweetly, still scooping up rice. “You can sleep here if you like.”

“T-that’s very kind of you, Mrs. Han… but I’ve booked a hotel room and I don’t want to impose on you—” His words were instantly cut off by Grandma putting a spoonful of tteokbokki into his mouth, forcing him to chew.

“Don’t be shy!” she giggled, gesturing to our surroundings. “There is plenty of room in my house. And did you remember what I told you earlier, boy? I’ll do it if you sleep here!”

Earlier?

Aurelius must have sensed that if he didn’t accept her offer, he would choke on a utensil. After swallowing, he sighed and nodded with a smile. “All right. Let me just go cancel my booking, okay?”

The night came and I was seriously considering booking a room at the nearest hotel myself when I found out what my grandmother was plotting all along, right under my nose.

“Tell me honestly…” I asked in the monotonous voice I could muster. “Did you know that we would be sleeping together if you agreed to stay here?”

That old hag! Is this how she sees me? She told me that I was shameless but she would go through lengths—even tell Aurelius that we would be sharing the same bed—just to have him to stay here. Is she mad?! And the thought of my own father agreeing…

This is all bullshit!

“It was your grandmother who gave me the choice. No matter how tempting it was, I refused a couple of times until your father agreed.” Aurelius then laughed, pointing to his own bed. “Besides, we won’t be sleeping on the same bed, just in the same room. And I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

“What changed your mind?”

“If I refuse her numerous times, she’ll probably never forget it. I don’t want her to see me as the kind of guy who wouldn’t spend time with my girl’s family, it’s just rude. I mean, if you want to marry someone, you have to get the family’s approval first.”

M-my girl? Hey, did he just—

Pride thrown out of the window, I pushed Aurelius down on the mattress and narrowed my eyes at him. He could only stare back at me in shock, not expecting to be shoved back and be placed in a defenseless position.

“Aurelius, what if I ask you to sleep with me, right here, right now… would you do it?”