Chapter 8

Ash stared at Burke, not caring that his parents sat a few feet away on the other side of the table. His mom had gasped, and she might have said something, but Ash couldn’t process it.

Burke blinked back at her, his expression as charged as her whole body. She really wished they could escape for a minute and talk.

This is your fault, a voice whispered. She’d brought up how they were serious, when Burke was trying to downplay the relationship. Maybe she’d lost her mind. Or maybe she was tired of pretending to be his girlfriend, all while pretending not to like him.

Both charades were exhausting.

She knew she didn’t like that he’d been about to say they weren’t that serious, and she’d blurted out some ridiculous thing about a phantom engagement conversation.

“I just need to get her a ring,” Burke said, his voice barely loud enough to reach Ash’s ears. He tore his gaze from hers and focused on his parents. “She’s been really busy with a dress for a wedding tomorrow. I think after that, we’ll have time to go over to the jeweler.”

Ash put a smile on her face. Burke sounded flawless, like everything that had happened in the last five minutes was true.

Five minutes.

How had so much changed in such a small amount of time?

Thankfully, the waiter arrived and took drink orders. The conversation moved to the barbecue and business, and Ash did her best to stay engaged, look interested, and participate. George kept looking at her with a sharpness in his eyes she didn’t like, but he never said anything. Didn’t question why they’d started dating when they’d been friends for so long.

Once, he said, “So, Ash,” and Heather had put her hand over his.

“How’s your mom?” she’d asked, clearly not the question George was going to use.

The meal went quickly, and before she knew it, George put down enough money for everyone’s dinner and said, “Sorry to cut things short. I have to be in the fields early.” He looked at Burke. “You too, right?”

“Right,” Burke said, but he stayed in his seat while his father and mother rose.

Ash stood and gave Heather a tiny hug and George a great big smile. Burke finally got up and said goodbye to his parents, and then he sank back into his seat as they walked away.

Ash sipped her soda, the carbonation sliding down her throat causing zings and pins to race over her skin. She waited until his parents left the restaurant completely, and then she hissed, “Engaged?”

Burke leaned closer to her, his eyes blazing. “You’re the one who said we were serious. I was going to tell them the truth!”

Ash couldn’t decide if he was upset or not. Okay, he was definitely upset, but she wasn’t sure if it was because the situation had worsened or because of what she’d said. It didn’t matter. What she’d said had made the situation worse.

“What were you thinking?” he asked next, some of the fight leaving his posture.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“We don’t lie to each other.” His bright blue eyes flashed with fire, and he picked up his cola.

I like you sounded inside her head. Could she just say it?

She’d already said it.

Desperation made her voice tight when she said, “Okay, so, maybe I just didn’t want….”

This to end.

“…You to have to deal with him alone.” That sounded like a bestie thing to say.

“I can deal with him.”

“You don’t want to lose Petals and Leis, do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then we’re serious and you better find me a ring to wear in the next week or so.” She drained the last of her soda and started to stand.

Burke put his hand on her arm, making her pause and sit down again. “Ash.” He said her name with so much emotion in his voice she couldn’t identify all the pieces of it.

She looked at him and he looked at her, and he finally said, “Thank you.” He tipped forward like he might kiss her, and Ash’s hopes went wild. Her eyes drifted partway closed, and everything went silent.

His breath wafted across her cheek, her chin, and just when she thought she should check and make sure he wasn’t teasing her, his lips touched hers.

Ash expected all the fantasies she’d been having the past few months to suddenly pale in comparison to what actually kissing Burke was like.

But it was just a touch. His lips felt hot against hers and while her heart was thrumming like hummingbird wings, and she wanted to kiss him, he ended up pulling away without really kissing her.

It had just been a touching of lips. Not a kiss.

Embarrassment raced through her, especially when Burke stood up and said, “We should go.” Since the bill had already been paid, he simply stood, tossed his napkin on the table, and turned toward the exit.

Ash sat at the table for a minute, dumbfounded. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought kissing Burke would be bad.

But that definitely hadn’t been good.

She launched to her feet, determined to try again before he drove away from her cottage. Maybe he was just out of practice. After all, he hadn’t dated anyone in six years. She caught up to him, and the drive back to her cottage happened with the low strains of the radio filling the silence between them.

When he didn’t get out of the car to walk her to the door, panic wedged itself in between Ash’s heartbeats.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Tonight was a disaster,” he said, staring straight ahead.

A squeak came out of Ash’s mouth, and she felt like he’d just punched the air from her lungs. She couldn’t imagine walking inside and letting him drive away with things as they were between them. She’d never be able to fall asleep, and everything would be ten shades of awkward at the barbecue tomorrow.

Maybe they wouldn’t go to the barbecue tomorrow.

Sitting in Burke’s car, Ash felt more defeated than she ever had. Yes, she’d known she’d never leave the island from a very young age. She’d known she’d design and sew wedding dresses for a living.

She’d always enjoyed dating and having a boyfriend, but nothing had ever stuck.

The real question is, are you willing to sacrifice your friendship with Burke for a chance at something more? she thought.

Immediately, her voice of reason countered with, What if it doesn’t work out? Do you think you can just go back to being friends?

Ash honestly didn’t know the answer to either question, but she’d been trying to change how she did things. Try new opportunities. Get outside her circle of comfort.

She turned toward Burke and drew in a deep breath. “Burke, I want to try that kiss again.”

He swung his attention toward her, a storm making his handsome features dark and dangerous. Confusion swept through his eyes, and Ash reached over, completely unsure what she was doing it, but doing it anyway.

She cradled his face and said, “I like you, Burke. Like, I have this strange little crush on you, and I don’t know…maybe if you could see me as your girlfriend at all….” She trailed off, wishing he’d jump in and say something.

Anything.

“I mean, I know we’ve been friends for a long time and all that.” She cleared her throat and dropped her hand. The car was suddenly ten times too small. “But I’m tired of pretending.” She reached for the door handle. “I like you, and maybe sometime in the future, we can try that kiss again.”

She got out of the car as quickly as she could, slammed the door behind her, and almost ran to her front door. She half-expected Burke to call after her or come after her, but he did neither. She went inside the house and locked the door before pressing her back into the wood.

She breathed in. She breathed out.

“Nothing more to do now,” she muttered, refusing to peek out the window to see if Burke still sat in his car or not.

“What are you doing here?” Charlotte Dawson poked her head out of her office as Ash started to pass it. “I heard the door open, and I didn’t think anyone was coming in today.”

Ash wanted to rush right into Charlotte’s office and tell her everything. Instead she stood in the hall, anxiety attacking her on several levels. She liked Charlotte. She was one of the best new additions to Your Tidal Forever, and she’d brought Ash eleven new clients in the eighteen months she’d been on the island.

The scent of peaches and flowers filled the air here, one of the owner’s favorite scents. Hope had candles burning in every room when she was in the office, but today, it was just Charlotte.

Who was still watching her.

Ash sighed. “I was just going to go over the master calendar.” She did like looking at the huge wall that detailed everything going on at Your Tidal Forever. Hope was nothing if not detailed, and she had someone who managed the calendar full-time.

She stepped that way, unsurprised when Charlotte followed her. Today, Charlotte wore a simple pair of cutoffs and a purple tank top. “When’s the barbecue?”

“I don’t know. Noon, probably.”

“You don’t know?”

Ash turned a corner, and the calendar came into view. “Burke hasn’t texted me yet.”

“There’s something wrong,” Charlotte said, and Ash turned toward her.

“The calendar looks right to me.”

“With you,” Charlotte said, a gentle smile easing onto her face. “I’ve known you for a while, Ash. You’re always polished and put together. You know the calendar forward and backward, and you know exactly what time the barbecue starts.”

Ash felt shaky from head to toe, and she really wished her bottom lip would stop quaking. “How good are you at keeping secrets?”

“Oh, I’m the best,” she said, making an X over her heart. “In fact, I have something I’ve been keeping to myself for a few weeks now.”

Ash peered at her with interest. “What is it?”

“You first.” Charlotte settled her weight on her back foot and folded her arms. “You look…distressed.”

“It’s a very long story.”

“I came in to get a little peace and quiet,” she said. “I’ve got nothing but time.”

“Well, then let’s not stand in the hall. Is there any coffee here?”

“No, but I have chocolate in my office.”

Ash followed Charlotte back down the halls and into one of the larger offices at Your Tidal Forever. She pushed a bag of chocolate covered sea salt caramels toward Ash. “Take your time. Dawson’s flying today, and we have roofers at our place, so it’s noisy. I’m not really working. More like pushing paper around.”

Ash took a handful of the perfectly round caramels and put one in her mouth. Sweet and salty and chocolatly, she definitely needed to get some of these for herself.

“They make guava ones too,” Charlotte said. “The fruity caramel is divine with the chocolate.”

“These are fantastic.” Ash checked the bag and found the trademark Alvey’s A on it, which had an extra-long slash through the middle of the letter, with tropical flowers on the left end. Belinda Alvey was a couple of years older than Ash and another Getaway Bay native.

“I love their mint sandwich crèmes,” she said. “But I haven’t had these.”

“They have a new shop over on Market Street,” Charlotte said as if Ash had dropped by to chat about candy. “Belinda said these are new within the last month.”

Ash popped another one in her mouth, relishing the melty way every flavor played together. “Well, they’re great.”

Charlotte smiled and went back to a particularly large blueprint she was working on.

Ash finished her handful of chocolate and let out another sigh. “Have I told you about Burke?”

“Sure, Burke Lawson. Running partner. Best friend. Couch crasher.”

“I like him,” Ash blurted. “Like I want to be his girlfriend, and he told his dad I was his girlfriend, and we’ve been pretending, but I haven’t been pretending, but then he kissed me, and it was awful.”

She sucked at the air, misery rushing in where her nerves had been previously.

Charlotte stared at her. “What?”

Ash pushed her hair off her face and told the whole story, slower and in more complete sentences. “And I told him last night that I liked him, like for real, and wanted to kiss him again,” she finished. “And he hasn’t called or texted in almost fourteen hours.”

Her eyes grew hot, but she would not cry. Not over a bad kiss. Not over Burke ignoring her. She mentally went through her stock of buttons and notions until her emotions calmed and she could look at Charlotte.

“He’ll call,” she said.

“We’re supposed to go to the barbecue and pretend,” she said. “I don’t know how long he’ll want to keep it up. I know he doesn’t want to lose his farm.”

“Do you think his father would really do that?”

Ash thought of George’s stern expression from last night, the question he’d been about to ask. “You know what? I do. And Burke would be devastated.”

She couldn’t believe she’d told him to join an online dating site. She didn’t want him to do that. Didn’t want to sprint down the beach with him while he talked about how wonderful his real girlfriend was.

She also couldn’t see Kayla or Krista running Petals and Leis. His younger sisters were her age, and she knew they worked at the family flower farm. But running it? That had always been Burke. He’d gotten two degrees to do it. Worked from before dawn to dusk.

And Ash would do whatever he needed her to do to make sure he got his farm. The thought of him rejecting her and keeping up the ruse until he found someone else made her stomach twist. But she’d do it.

Her phone made a strange notification sound she didn’t recognize, and she looked at the screen. You have a new message from—

The message from Get Together, the dating app she’d used in the past cut off the name of the person. She cursed herself for activating her account again and setting herself as single and ready to mingle.

She didn’t want to get together with anyone except Burke. She wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship, as the Pacific Ocean was bigger than most men bargained for. Ash swiped open the message anyway to find someone who hadn’t even put a picture in their profile circle yet. So a green, empty head stared back at her while she studied the screen name.

Petals4Burke “Oh my heck,” she said, her words made mostly of air. “Burke just sent me a message through my dating app.” She glanced up at Charlotte, who grinned at her.

“Well, read it out loud,” she said.

Ash tapped on the message and read it quickly before giving it voice. “Hey, Ash. Thought we could connect on here, seeing as how you’re single and I’m single.”

She looked up and met Charlotte’s eye. “I don’t get it.”

“Message him back,” Charlotte said. “He obviously has something to say.”

“What do I even say?” Ash had never been more grateful to run into someone when she’d been hoping to be alone.

“Start with….”