Chapter 13

Burke didn’t want to go back to Petals & Leis, but somehow his truck took him up to the flower farm anyway. He sat in the air conditioning, unwilling to get out and go work in the fields. What he wanted to do was head home, pull on a wet suit, and go surfing.

But Ash’s meeting could last an hour or four, and he wanted to be able take her to lunch when she finished.

He made a quick decision and sent Ash a text. I’m going to go surfing. My regular spot. Rain check on lunch?

He’d put the truck in reverse to back out of the spot when a message came back. Sure. Call you later. Headed in to my meeting now.

Half an hour later, Burke stood in the sand, the heat of it almost burning his bare feet. He relished the feel of it, as it made him feel like he was exactly where he should be. The waves weren’t particularly impressive today, as it was nearly noon, and the tide came in much earlier.

He didn’t care. He’d left his surfboard at home, actually, and brought his body board instead. The waves came in and went out, and he finally found one he wanted to hit. Flipping the board out into the water, he ran after it and jumped on, riding the board out to the wave and cresting it.

He rode down the wave before finally stepping off in shallow water, the cooler water against his skin in direct contrast with the super-heated July sun. He’d left the wet suit at home, the water temperature definitely warm enough without it.

The waves soothed him, and he played with them for an hour before his stomach roared and demanded food. He could still lunch with Ash, he reasoned, so he ran up the beach to Manni’s, the best taco stand on the sand.

The line was always long, but mid-week, and an hour past lunchtime, he didn’t have to wait too long. He accepted his tacos from DJ, a guy about his age who’d taken the mobile home and converted it into a restaurant that put out the best fish tacos on the island.

“Saw you riding the waves,” he said, like he had time to talk. “Maybe tomorrow, we can go in the morning?” The similarly blond-haired, blue-eyed man looked at Burke expectantly.

“Yeah, sure,” Burke said. “Early? Like five-thirty.”

DJ grinned and collected another taco for the next customer. “See you out there.”

Burke wandered away from the taco stand, eating through his three shrimp tacos before even leaving the shade of the palm trees.

He sank into the sand on the cusp of where sun met shade and watched the people on the beach. This was the less busy side of the double half-moon bays, but there were still plenty of people. Families, couples, children, dogs.

Burke basked in the vibrant atmosphere of it all, the roar of the waves faint and in the distance, but still loud enough to soothe his soul. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel stuck.

Bridgette had cemented him in place, and he thought through the last six years and what he’d done. Not much. Got through each day. Pretended.

And he was really tired of pretending—which was why he did not want to go buy an engagement ring with Ash that night. Not if it wasn’t going to be real. She’d seemed surprised when he’d asked too, but he didn’t know how to satisfy his father and make Ash happy.

He picked up his board, dodged through the people and blankets and umbrellas, and went back to the shoreline to give his concerns to the ocean. It had always taken them from him before, and by the time he pulled himself out of the surf for the last time, Ash stood on the beach in her tight skirt and pale blue blouse.

She shielded her eyes with her hand and searched the water. Burke flipped his hair out of his face and stayed low in the water, watching her. Trying to figure out how he truly felt.

Ash was smart, driven, loyal, and kind. He’d never had a problem laughing with her, and they did talk about most things. All things, now that he’d told her about Bridgette. She hadn’t judged him or asked him why he’d kept proposing to a woman who clearly didn’t want him.

He stood and waved, calling, “Ash,” to get her attention. She found him and waved, a smile on her face. He slopped through the water to the wet sand, bending to pick up his body board as it rode the waves in and out.

“All done?” he asked as he approached.

Her eyes lingered on his torso before migrating to his. “Yeah, all done.”

“Feel like tacos or something that requires me to put on a shirt?”

“We can get a drink at The Straw and maybe head over to Sweet Breeze?” she asked. “I’m dying for some of their sliders, and my mom wants a ramen bowl from the restaurant on the fourth floor.”

“Sounds great.” He tucked his board under one arm and took her hand with his free one. “Tell me about the meeting.”

“You don’t really care,” she said as they stepped past the other groups on the beach.

“Sure I do.” Burke glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “I always ask you about your clients.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He took an extra-large step and moved in front of her. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just….” She sighed, and without her sunglasses to hide behind, he saw the indecision racing through her eyes.

“What, Ash?” He wanted to tip her head up to look into his eyes. Kiss her right there on the beach. But there were too many people watching, and he had some decency.

“I’m just hungry.” She started walking again, putting her hand squarely in his this time, and added, “The sisters are interesting. They’re from the ranch, and they’re marrying twins. They want wildly different things though. Different dresses, different cakes. Basically, all they’re doing together is the ceremony. Charlotte looked like she was going to blow a gasket.” Ash trilled out a laugh, and Burke squeezed her hand.

He once again thought about how this conversation would’ve been different a month ago. She probably would’ve said all the same things. Laughed the same way. But his heart rate wouldn’t have accelerated and he, of course, wouldn’t have been holding her hand.

“Ash,” he said as they got in line at The Straw. “I was feeling bad about asking you for this favor, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m glad I did.”

“Oh, yeah?” She lifted her eyebrows in challenge. “And why’s that?”

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her wrist. “Because if I hadn’t, you would’ve never told me about your crush, and we wouldn’t be here, doing this.” He gazed at her, hoping his true meaning had come through in his words.

She gave him a closed-mouth smile and moved up in line. His chest squeezed. He’d said something wrong. And Burke suddenly hated talking. He liked it when things were light, and she was telling him about her clients, or he told her about the clematis that had bloomed last week.

But all this conversation about his feelings? Yeah, he didn’t like disclosing that stuff. He always did it wrong.

Maybe that was how you messed things up with Bridgette too, he thought as Ash tipped onto her toes and put in her order. She paid before Burke could get his thoughts to align, leaving him to order and pay for his separately.

Desperation and frustration dove through him, the same way he’d been diving head-first into the waves this afternoon. Ash had let go of his hand at some point, and she made no effort to touch him again, or even talk to him.

“Thanks, Sasha,” she said to the woman as she leaned out of the stand and handed Ash her drink. Sasha’s eyes cut between Ash and Burke, and he simply looked back. It was like the sun had fried his brain.

He got his drink from a Polynesian woman and he and Ash set off down the beachwalk that led through the jungle over to the other bay. Though there was plenty of noise around them, the silence between them felt suffocating and he could barely sip his smoothie.

About halfway to Sweet Breeze, he said, “I’m sorry, Ash. What did I say?”

“Do you really like me?” She stopped right in the middle of the beachwalk, causing the other pedestrians to flow around her.

“What? Of course I do.” Burke glanced at an older couple who had obviously overheard them.

“And not just because I like you.” She edged out of the way a little bit so people could get by.

Burke stepped off the beachwalk altogether, the soft-packed sand beside the boards shifting a little with his weight. “I mean, maybe a thing with you wasn’t on my radar before, but—”

“A thing with me.” She cocked her hip and sipped her drink. Her dark eyes flashed with anger, and Burke felt himself digging deeper and deeper.

“A relationship,” he clarified. “I guess I wasn’t looking at you. You’re my best friend.”

“Great, so I was overlooked.” She rolled her eyes and started walking again. The way she kept starting and stopping at random times had him completely discombobulated. His smoothie sloshed over the rim as he tried to catch up to her.

“Ash,” he said, catching her after a few strides. “It’s not that. You’ve always had someone else. A boyfriend. Some guy you’re trying to get to ask you out. Something.”

She didn’t look at him, but at this rate, they’d reach Sweet Breeze in a matter of minutes. “So you’re saying because I’ve been unavailable you haven’t seen me.”

“Ash.” He stepped in front of her this time, creating another roadblock. He didn’t care. He looked down at her, desperate for her to understand. “I haven’t been seeing anyone for six years.”

There was more to say, but he couldn’t find the words. Somehow, he felt like he’d said them all. Understanding flowed through her beautiful eyes, and Burke couldn’t believe this woman—this beautiful, forgiving woman—had been in front of him all this time and he hadn’t seen her.

“Okay?” He swallowed, his throat dry. He took a sip of his smoothie, the tart raspberries combining with the tangy orange. “So maybe I’m out of practice with talking about stuff. Maybe I get a do-over, like with the kiss.”

“Maybe,” she said, nudging him out of her way with her palm. “I just don’t want to invest much in this if it’s a joke to you.”

“It’s not a joke.”

“If you don’t really like me.”

“I really like you.”

“If it’s just a show for your dad.”

“It’s not just a show.” Well, it had started that way, but things had changed for Burke quite rapidly.

Ash paused one more time and smiled up at him. “Great. Because my mother would like you to come with me to take her dinner tonight.” She patted his chest a couple of times. “And you know you can’t get anything by a kindergarten teacher. They see and know everything.” Ash got a few paces ahead of him while Burke started to sweat over meeting her mother.

Of course, he’d met her mother plenty of times. As Burke-the-best-friend. Not Burke-the-man-who’s-currently-kissing-your-daughter.

“She hasn’t taught for years,” he called after Ash, who only tipped her head back and laughed.