Chapter 83 Finally

Chapter 83 Finally


Blake

For several long seconds after she kissed me, I forgot how thinking worked.

Not metaphorically.

Literally.

My brain simply… stopped.

She was still close enough that I could feel the warmth of her breath against my face. Her hand remained lightly curled around the front of my T-shirt as though she’d kissed me, realized what she’d done, and forgotten every instruction she’d intended to give the rest of her body.

The television continued playing somewhere behind us. People on the screen were talking. A laugh track erupted. I couldn’t have told you what any of them said if my life depended on it.

The only thing my mind seemed capable of processing was the fact that Shannon O’Reilly had just kissed me.

She blinked first.

Then a tiny, uncertain smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“…You okay?”

I looked at her.

Then I laughed.

It wasn’t a loud laugh. More the kind that escaped someone who had been trying to convince himself not to hope for something… only to have it dropped into his lap anyway.

“I…”

I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck.

“I’m gonna need you to do that again.”

Her eyebrows lifted.

“…What?”

“I don’t think my brain was online.”

A soft laugh escaped her.

“It wasn’t?”

“I think it blue-screened.”

She bit her lip, trying unsuccessfully to hide another smile.

“You want me to kiss you again?”

“I would appreciate a replay.”

“Just to make sure?”

“Strictly for confirmation purposes.”

She shook her head, laughing now, and the sound settled somewhere deep inside my chest.

God…

I’d missed hearing her laugh. Not from across a room. Not while pretending I wasn’t looking.

Like this. Close enough to see the tiny crinkle beside her eyes. Close enough to watch her relax.

Without another word, she leaned forward. This time I met her halfway.

The kiss lasted longer.

There wasn’t any urgency behind it. No frantic need to make up for lost time. It was simply two people finally allowing themselves to stop pretending.

When she pulled back, I found myself smiling so hard my face actually hurt.

“There.”

I nodded once.

“I definitely caught that one.”

She rolled her eyes affectionately.

“Good.”

Before I really thought about it, my hands found her waist and I pulled her up onto my lap. 

Just…

To hold her there.

For one tiny heartbeat I waited, giving her every opportunity to pull away if she’d changed her mind.

Instead, she shifted forward on her own.

The movement was so natural that I barely realized she’d done it until she was settling onto my lap, her knees resting on either side of mine as she tucked one leg comfortably beneath herself.

Instinct took over.

My arms slipped around her.

Not tightly.

Not possessively.

Just enough that if she wanted to stay, she wouldn’t have to wonder whether I wanted her there.

I did. God, I did.

She rested her forehead lightly against mine, and for a while neither of us said anything.

The silence didn’t need fixing. It wasn’t awkward. It was the kind of silence that only existed after months of words had finally caught up to feelings.

Eventually I let out a slow breath.

“Okay…”

She looked at me.

“Hm?”

“I need to ask something.”

Her smile softened.

“Okay.”

I laughed quietly.

“At the risk of completely ruining one of the best moments of my life…”

That earned me another tiny smile.

“…I need to know what this is.”

The question lingered between us. She didn’t answer immediately.

Instead, her fingertips traced absentmindedly along the back of my neck before disappearing into the hair there, almost as though she needed something to do while she found the right words.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

“I know.”

“I judged you.”

I started to shake my head. She stopped me with the smallest look.

“No.”

“I did.”

Her voice stayed gentle, but there wasn’t any hesitation in it now.

“I decided who you were before I ever gave you the chance to show me otherwise.”

The words weren’t rushed. Each one felt carefully chosen.

“I convinced myself that if I kept enough distance between us, eventually your feelings would fade.”

A sad little smile crossed her face.

“The problem was…”

She looked down before meeting my eyes again.

“…mine didn’t.”

Something inside my chest squeezed so hard it almost hurt.

“I kept telling myself I was protecting myself.”

She laughed once.

“But all I really managed to do…”

“…was push away the one person who never gave me a reason to.”

I couldn’t speak. Not because I didn’t want to.

Because every sentence I’d thought about saying over the last several months suddenly felt too small.

“You finally listened.”

She smiled.

“When I asked you to stop flirting…”

“You stopped.”

“When I asked you for space…”

“You gave it to me.”

Her eyes searched mine.

“You respected me.”

“I was trying to.”

“I know.”

She nodded.

“And somewhere along the way I realized…”

“…I didn’t miss the attention.”

She smiled.

“I missed you.”

My eyes stung unexpectedly. I laughed under my breath, trying to hide it.

“Well…”

My voice came out rougher than I intended.

“…that makes this next question a whole lot easier.”

She tilted her head.

“What question?”

I smiled.

“So…”

I took a slow breath.

“…does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”

She didn’t hesitate.

Not for a second.

“Yes.”

The answer hit me like sunlight after weeks of clouds.

“…Yeah?”

She laughed softly.

“Yes, Blake.”

“You mean it?”

“I do.”

A grin spread across my face before I could stop it.

“So…”

I counted on my fingers.

“I’m allowed to hold your hand?”

“Yes.”

“In public?”

“Yes.”

“I can kiss you hello?”

“Yes.”

“Kiss you goodbye?”

“Yes.”

“If I let you borrow my hoodie…”

She smiled.

“I’ll probably steal it.”

I laughed.

“I walked right into that one.”

“You really did.”

“And…”

I looked at her with a smile I couldn’t have hidden if I’d tried.

“…you’re officially my girlfriend.”

“I am.”

I closed my eyes for just a second.

“That…”

I laughed again.

“…is the coolest sentence I’ve heard all year.”

Her arms slipped a little farther around my shoulders.

“You really are kind of adorable.”

“I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you say something like that.”

“I know.”

“I promise you something.”

She looked at me expectantly.

“I’m probably going to screw things up sometimes.”

Her eyebrows knitted together.

“I’ll forget anniversaries.”

“I’ll say dumb things.”

“I’ll probably make jokes when I should be serious.”

A smile tugged at her lips.

“That last one is almost guaranteed.”

“Probably.”

I squeezed her gently.

“But you’re never going to have to wonder where you stand with me.”

The smile faded from her face, replaced by something quieter.

Something deeper.

“Because I’m all in, Shannon.”

She held my gaze for a long moment.

Then, without saying a word…

She smiled.

And leaned in to kiss me again.