Chapter 28 Sister-zoned

Chapter 28 Sister-zoned
Maya's POV

"Maya. Maya!"

His voice echoed behind me, and damn, it was too close.

"Wait up!"

No. Go away. Just leave me the hell alone.

I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. If I stopped, I'd have to look at him, and if I looked at him, I'd remember her lips on his. I'd remember her calling him baby, I'd remember the way she looked at me like I was nothing.

Cynthia, his girlfriend. The woman he forgot to mention.

I ran faster, past the garden, past the benches, past the old oak tree.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I even running anyway?

I didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who lied and kept secrets.

So why am I the one running away? But I couldn't stop.

My feet pounded against the pavement, my lungs were burning and my hair had fallen out of its ponytail and was whipping across my face.

People are watching. They were probably thinking I’d lost my mind.

They know he's my boyfriend… fake boyfriend… whatever.

So why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just turn around and say hello and pretend everything is fine?

Why can't I just…Fuck.

Can't he just go back? Does he have to follow me everywhere? Does he have to look at me like that? Does he have to make my heart feel like it's going to explode when I know he belongs to someone else?

I just want to run away. Run away from all of it. From Sarah, from Cynthia, from him.

From the way he makes me feel when I know I shouldn't feel anything at all.

The parking lot. It's empty, thank God. No students or teachers. Just rows of cars and the gray sky and the sound of my own ragged breathing.

Keep running. Run until you can't hear him anymore, until you forget the way he looks at you.

Run until…

His hand caught my arm and turned me to face him.

Damn it.

I stopped, not because I wanted to but because my body betrayed me.

"Maya." He was breathing hard. His hair was a mess and his eyes were wild. "What the hell? Why are you running away from me?"

I yanked my arm but he didn't let go.

"I'm not running."

"You just sprinted across the entire school. You're running."

"I'm… I'm just.." I couldn't finish. I didn't have words.

"Maya, talk to me." His voice was softer now and concerned. "What's going on?"

What's going on? What do you mean by what's going on?

You are what's going on. You and your stupid girlfriend and your stupid ring and your stupid face that I can't stop thinking about.

I didn't say any of that.

"Let go of me."

"No."

"Justin…"

"Not until you tell me why you're avoiding me." His jaw tightened. "I know I messed up, Maya. I know I should have told you about Cynthia, but that doesn't mean you have to ignore me. That doesn't mean you have to run every time I get close."

Ignore you?

If only you knew. If only you knew how hard it is to think about anything else. How hard it is to focus on Sarah or school or anything when you're standing this close.

How hard it is to breathe.

"Say something." His voice cracked. "Please."

What am I supposed to say?

"I can't breathe when you're near me"?

"My heart stops every time you look at me"?

"I think about you constantly and it's destroying me because you have a girlfriend and I'm just a project to you"?

I can't say any of that.

"I'm fine," I said.

"You're not fine."

"I'm fine, Justin."

"You're shaking."

I'm shaking because you're holding my arm and looking at me like that and I don't know what to do with my hands or my face or my heart.

"It's cold."

"It's not cold."

"It's cold."

He stared at me for a long moment. His eyes searched my face.

Stop looking at me like that.

Stop trying to see inside my head. You won't like what you find there.

"Maya…"

"Don't."

"I just want to…"

"I said don't."

He let go of my arm and the cold rushed into the space where his warmth had been.

He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter and more controlled.

"Look," he said. "I just want to help you clear your name, that's all. That's what this was supposed to be about. My personal life… Cynthia, all of it, it doesn't interfere with what I'm doing for you."

Doesn't interfere? Right.

Because I'm just a project, just someone to fix, just a….

He looked at me and his eyes were soft.

"I just want you to remember that," he said. "You're like a…"

Ahhh God. Let him not say it.

Don't you dare say it.

"You're like a younger sister to me, okay? That's all this is."

The words hit me like glass.

Younger sister?

That's all.

That's all you are to him, you fool. Get that and stop acting like a lovesick puppy.

That's all I'll ever be. Just another person he's trying to save because he couldn't save his own sister.

I felt something crack inside my chest. Something I'd been holding together for days.

Of course. Of course that's all I am.

Why would I be anything more? I'm a high school girl with a ruined reputation.

And he's… He's him and I'm me, and we were never going to be anything else.

I opened my mouth to say something. To lie and tell him I understood. To pretend that his words didn't feel like a knife.

My phone rang.

Westbrook General Hospital.

Papa.

Oh my God.

I forgot about Papa. I was so busy thinking about Justin and Cynthia and running away that I forgot about my own father.

What kind of daughter am I? What kind of monster…

I grabbed the phone.

"Hello? Hello?"

The voice on the other end was calm. Professional.

"Ms. Sandoval? This is Westbrook General. There has been an emergency. We need you to come back to the hospital as soon as possible."

"Oh my God." My voice was barely a whisper. "Oh my God."

"Maya." Justin stepped closer. "Maya, what is it?"

"Maya?" The nurse's voice sharpened. "Ms. Sandoval, are you still there?"

My stomach dropped.

"What's happening?" I whispered.

"We need immediate family here as soon as possible."

Immediate family. The words ripped through me.

"No." I shook my head. "No, no, no… he was fine. The doctor said he was stable."

"Maya?" Justin stepped closer. "What happened?"

I couldn't answer him. My chest felt tight.

The parking lot blurred.

Not Papa, please not Papa.

I pressed the phone harder against my ear like that could somehow keep him alive and safe.

"I'm coming," I choked out. "Please don't let anything happen to him. Please."

The call ended and for one terrible second, the world went completely silent.

Then Justin grabbed my shoulders.

"Maya."

I looked at him and whatever he saw on my face made his expression change instantly.

Fear. Real fear.

"What happened?" he asked.

My lips trembled. "It's my father."

My voice broke.

And then…

"Coach!"

A hockey player came running through the parking lot doors, breathless. Justin turned sharply.

"The ambulance just left the rink." The boy looked confused. "Someone said a man collapsed in the stands."

Justin froze and so did I. Because there was only one person who would have come looking for me.

Papa.