Chapter 80 He's Toxic, But I Like Him
Quinn's POV
"I know it's not easy to trust again after you've been disappointed. But before it's too late, before you end up regretting it like I did, you better be honest with yourself, Quinn. If you love Grayson, tell him. If not, you can leave him. Because men are logical creatures. When you're still with him but you don't love him, he'll still think you love him because you haven't left. So I hope you're more decisive about your choice. I'm sure you're better than me."
Honestly, what Kelly said really hit me hard.
I'm not saying she guessed everything correctly, but she guessed the gist of it correctly.
However, I'm still not sure about saying it. I still need time until I'm ready. Because I understand the consequences if I'm honest about my feelings, what will happen.
"Yeah, I may be childish, unstable, annoying, but I didn't mean to take Grayson away from you. I approached Grayson because I thought he was still single and didn't have a woman he was pursuing. Because as you know, he hasn't introduced his fated mate to the public yet. But it turns out I was wrong. Maybe he's already found her, he just hasn't announced it yet."
I choked on the ice cream I was eating.
Kelly just smiled. "It seems like Grayson has already told you. But maybe you don't believe it."
"I don't understand what you mean, Kelly," I replied immediately. "What I understand is that you are Grayson's fated mate."
"That's not true. I'll clarify it. You must have heard the news about Grayson's decision not to introduce any woman as his girlfriend other than his fated mate. You may also have misunderstood because of the amount of news circulating. Well, I want to clarify that you have to believe that you are that woman, the one he is waiting for, the one he is looking forward to. If he says you are his fated mate, then it's true. He's not lying."
I couldn't swallow my ice cream anymore. Even swallowing my saliva felt difficult.
I heard Kelly clearly, but my heart refused to believe her.
After being lied to by Owen, I was afraid that this time Grayson and Kelly were working together to deceive me. Because other than them, I didn't know who else to confirm Grayson's words with.
"If you still don't believe me, I'll reveal one more fact," said Kelly. She came closer to me and whispered. "If Grayson lets you know his secrets, access his private places, and do anything there, it means he has given you the green light and opened his heart to you," she explained.
"Why are you so sure?" I asked, at the peak of my curiosity.
"Don't get mad, but when Grayson likes someone, he loses his privacy. You can confirm what I'm saying from what has happened between you two and what will happen in the future."
After thinking about it again, it was true. Grayson didn't mind sharing his privacy with me. He even showed me his phone and told me the password. I knew that phones were one of the most private things in this day and age.
"Okay, I think that's enough. I think I've told you everything I know. I hope it helps."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I want you two to fix your relationship. Just so you know, I'm haunted by guilt. And I can't pretend anymore. My fiancé has also apologized, so I'm going back to him."
"So you really did put Grayson on the back burner?"
Kelly laughed so hard that the ice cream in her hand shook. "Sorry, sorry, but that's so funny. I have a new words to tease him with."
I smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry for misunderstanding you."
“No, no, you’re right. Your suspicions were correct, only now I’ve realized it and repented.”
I stared straight ahead at the calm park lake with several beautiful swans on it. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, of course. Go ahead, I’m free today. But you might have to leave soon after this.”
I took a deep breath. "If I may know, how far did your relationship with Grayson go? I mean—"
"We never had sex, if that's what you want to know. But we did kiss. Well, like people who are dating, you know? You've done that too, right?"
I shook my head slowly and then looked down deeply. "Grayson was my first."
“What? Wow, if Grayson hurt you, then he’s really over the line. I’ll scold him too.”
I chuckled. “Okay, thanks for your concern, Kelly. Thanks also for answering honestly.”
"So now you believe that Grayson really loves you?"
I shrugged. "I don't know."
"Oh, come on, Quinn. The facts are clear. What else could make you believe?"
"I just... find it hard to believe when someone says they love me."
"Is it because you have trauma?"
I reflexively turned my head. "Grayson told you?"
"My guess was right. Grayson didn't tell me, I just guessed."
"Okay, I'll try to give you some advice. It's okay to be cautious about falling in love easily. But you also have to believe when someone loves you again. It's like letting the bad things go so you can let the good things come to you. To keep things balanced."
Could Kelly be right? Could the emptiness I felt when I distanced myself from Grayson a few days ago be because I actually trusted and loved him?
But what if Grayson disappoints me again?
"You have to understand that no matter who you start a relationship with or when, it won't always go smoothly. Sometimes you’ll fight, and sometimes you’ll feel so in love that you’ll want to fly away together. But one thing you have to remember, that’s what love is. It’s the turbulence that keeps your relationship going. Because it’s more dangerous if it’s too smooth. Still water runs deep, Quinn. I hope you think about what I said, even though I’m not a good person either.”
I played with my fingers while tapping my feet on the grass. “Do you think I should go after Grayson? Should I watch his game tomorrow?”
Kelly smiled, sweetly. “Why not? If your heart tells you to, then do it. Don’t hesitate to show your feelings. I support you completely.”
I stood up immediately. Alright, now I know what I have to do, and I’m very confident in my decision this time.
“Thank you, Kelly, for everything.” After that, I ran out of the park to meet Grayson.
Grayson, wait for me, I’ll catch up with you. I’ll make sure you win the game tomorrow.