Chapter 58 Don't Feel Alone
Dylan's POV
"Sit pretty and let me do the cooking," I told Quinn. I led her to the dining table so I could keep an eye on her.
I honestly didn't want to leave her alone for now because I was afraid she'd do something to hurt herself. That's why I kidnapped her to accompany me in cooking.
There are actually a lot of questions I want to ask Quinn, from her job, where she lives, the real reason for breaking up with Owen and what her relationship with Grayson is.
Of the many questions, only one has been answered for now. And that was because Quinn was heartbroken, not because she told me willingly.
Although Quinn never complained in front of me or looked tired, I understood that she must have gone through a difficult life since I was admitted. I can't even imagine what kind of work she's done to pay for my medical bills and hospitalization.
Quinn must have sacrificed her sleep and even cut back on food to be as skinny as she is now. I even suspect that her breakup with Owen might be because of me.
Quinn has done countless things for me since our mother left suddenly. Since then, Quinn has played the role of a parent to me.
I honestly wanted Quinn to tell me all her troubles. I could at least help ease her burden by being a good listener. However, Quinn never once wanted to tell me. She always said she was fine and everything was okay.
Quinn always wanted to look independent and didn't need anyone. She always took care of everything herself. Even when she was sad, she tried not to cry in front of me because she was afraid I might think she’s weak. Or maybe it was because she didn't want to make me think too hard.
But isn't that what siblings are for? As a place to share the burden? As a place to lean on when the world out there is too harsh?
However, even though she's my older sister and the first child, she's just a human being, just like me, who needs to express her feelings. Because if she keeps it bottled up, it will eventually build up and backfire on her.
The problem is, how do I get her to talk? That's what I've been thinking about until now and I still haven't found the answer.
"I can't just stay silent. At least let me help you by cutting the ingredients. Or prepare the seasoning, or whatever it is so I do something," she said.
Besides trying to look tough, Quinn was also very stubborn, even more stubborn than me.
Not wanting to make her sadder, I gave her the vegetables to cut. "Watch your fingers. Don't get hurt, okay?"
"You're such a nag," she mocked me.
I snorted in annoyance. I panicked when she cried because it was the first time she had cried in front of me. Because in the past when our mother left without saying goodbye, she didn't cry at all and instead pretended to be tough and mocked me as a crybaby.
"Look at your face when you scowl like that, it's so ugly."
"Hey!" I splashed water on her face. "Look at your face in the mirror right now. Your eyes are puffy, your nose is red, you're pretty ugly too."
My intention in saying that was to joke around, there was absolutely no serious intention because Quinn was still pretty, honestly. I didn't expect that my words would be taken seriously, which made her immediately look sad.
Panicking, I approached her. "Quinn, I'm just kidding."
"I know." She replied but she looked down.
"Then why are you sad?" I asked carefully.
It took some time, but eventually Quinn was willing to look at me again. But she put on that fake smile again. "I'm just embarrassed that you saw me cry. I'm not supposed to be weak."
I grab her hand. "Quinn, since when is someone who is sad or crying a weak person? Sadness is a form of emotion and crying is a way of expressing that emotion. Weakness is when you're helpless and it's not a feeling. At this point, does it sound the same? It doesn't, does it?"
She looked at me without blinking. I thought it was because she felt more sad, but it turned out to be because she wanted to hit my head afterwards.
"Aw that really hurt!" I snapped in annoyance.
Quinn laughed instead. "I didn't know my brother was this big. When did you grow up, hmm?"
I rolled my eyes. But honestly her rapid change of emotions worried me.
Maybe I should suggest that she see a psychologist? But if I bring it up now, she'll get angry again. Argh this is so complicated.
"What are you thinking, little brother? Don't think weird thoughts. Now just think about how to make good food. Okay?"
I nodded and smiled slightly. After that, I went back to the stove to continue my work.
I also secretly watched Quinn from her reflection in the pot. She was sad again and looked down. When I turned my head, she put on a cheerful face again.
Oh this is really difficult. I had to find a way to make Quinn stop closing herself off and to share what she was feeling with me.
"After this, do you want to watch a movie or play a detective game?"
I turned my head because I didn't expect Quinn to still remember the things I liked to do after dinner when we still lived in the flat.
Maybe from those activities I could get Quinn to open up more. Yes, I thought this was an opportunity I could take advantage of.
Therefore, without hesitation, I agreed. "If we can do both, why not? But I wanna play the detective game first."
"Okay. Whoever solves the case the fastest, wins. And the loser has to fulfill 3 requests from the winner."