Chapter 202 CHAPTER 202

Chapter 202 CHAPTER 202
Mathias's POV
The forest blurred past me. Everything was a mess of green and brown and black, all bleeding together until I couldn't tell where the trees ended and the shadows began. My paws hit the ground in a rhythm I didn't feel. My lungs burned. My muscles screamed. But I didn't stop.

I couldn't stop.

Because if I stopped, I'd have to think. And if I thought, I'd have to feel. And if I felt—

The tears came again.

They streamed down my face, hot and relentless, soaking into my fur. I couldn't stop them. I couldn't control them. They just kept coming, kept falling, kept reminding me of everything I had done.

Rafael.

His face flashed through my mind. The way he had looked at me when I told him the truth. The hatred in his eyes. The disgust. The absolute, soul-crushing disappointment.

I had never seen him look at anyone like that. Not even Adrian. Not even his enemies.

But he had looked at me that way.

Because I deserved it.

I deserved every ounce of his hatred. Every word of his banishment. Every second of his pain.

I had poisoned him for four years. Four years of feeding him the curse. Four years of watching him suffer. Four years of pretending to be his brother while slowly killing him from the inside.

And for what?

For my mother.

My mother, who was still out there. Still in Adrian's clutches. Still being used as leverage to control me.

I had tried to save her. I had done everything Adrian asked. I had betrayed my best friend, destroyed my own soul, and for what? To keep her alive?

Was she even still alive?

The thought hit me like a knife.

I had helped Rafael. I had turned against Adrian. I had chosen my friend over my mother's safety.

And now Adrian would most likely make her pay.

I had doomed her.

I had saved Rafael, but I had killed my mother.

The weight of it crushed me.

The Steeles were dead because of me. Mr. Steele. Mrs. Steele. Dead. Gone. Their blood was on my hands as much as it was on Adrian's.

I had tried to save them. I had tried to help. But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

Emma's parents were dead. Emma was an orphan. Vivienne had almost died. Rafael had almost died.

And my mother was going to die because of me.

I screamed.

The sound tore out of me, raw and animal, echoing through the trees. 

My body convulsed. The shift ripped through me without warning, forced, violent. My bones cracked and reformed. My fur receded. My paws turned back into hands and feet.

I hit the ground hard.

The impact drove the air from my lungs. I lay there, gasping, my face pressed into the dirt and leaves. I could taste the earth, bitter and cold. I could feel the twigs digging into my skin.

I didn't move.

I just lay there, crying.

The tears came harder now. They poured out of me, hot and relentless, soaking into the forest floor. I pressed my forehead into the dirt and screamed again. A long, broken sound that seemed to go on forever.

"WHY?" I screamed. "WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY DID I—"

I couldn't finish. The words wouldn't come. They were stuck in my throat, choking me, suffocating me.

I had lost everything.

Rafael. The Steeles. My mother. My home. My purpose. Everything I had ever cared about was gone, and it was my fault.

I had chosen wrong. I had chosen Adrian. I had chosen fear over friendship. I had chosen survival over loyalty.

And now I was paying the price.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my mother's face. Her smile. The way she used to hold me when I was small. The way she would brush my hair back and tell me everything was going to be okay.

She's not okay. She's never going to be okay. Adrian is going to kill her because of me.

The thought was a knife twisting in my gut.

I had tried to save her. I had done everything Adrian asked. I had lied, cheated, betrayed. I had poisoned my best friend. I had destroyed my own soul.

And for what?

For her.

But what if she was already dead? What if Adrian had already killed her? What if everything I had done was for nothing?

I screamed again. The sound tore through the forest, raw and broken. I beat my fists against the ground. I clawed at the dirt. I wanted to tear the world apart.

But I couldn't.

I was too weak. Too broken. Too lost.

I lay there for a long time. I don't know how long. Minutes. Hours. Time had lost all meaning.

Eventually, the tears stopped. The sobs quieted. I was left with nothing but emptiness and exhaustion.

I pushed myself up.

My body ached. Every muscle screamed. My face was raw, my eyes swollen, my throat burning. I looked like a wreck. I felt like a wreck.

I stumbled to my feet.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have a plan. I didn't have anything.

But my feet started moving anyway.

I walked.

The forest was dark around me. The trees were old and gnarled, their branches reaching out like twisted fingers. The air was cold and damp. I could hear the sounds of the night—owls hooting, crickets chirping, the distant rustle of something moving through the underbrush.

I didn't care. I just kept walking.

Mom.

Her face was burned into my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. Every time I tried to think of something else, she was there.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried to save you. I tried to do everything right. But I failed. I failed you. I failed everyone.

And then I remembered.

Elara. My father's sister. My aunt.

She was the only one who could understand. The only one who could help me make sense of everything that had happened.

She had warned me. She had told me that working for Adrian would destroy me. 

And I had refused because I couldn’t abandon my mother.

Elara had never treated me like that. She had always seen me as family. She had always loved me, even when I didn't deserve it.

I needed her now. I needed her more than I had ever needed anyone.

I kept walking.

The forest gave way to a clearing. I could see the faint shimmer of the magical barrier in the distance—a wall of energy that protected the coven from intruders. It pulsed with a soft, golden light, beautiful and dangerous.

I approached it slowly.

The barrier rippled as I stepped forward. I could feel the magic pressing against my skin, testing me, probing me. Then it parted, opening a path for me to pass through.

On the other side, two witches stood waiting.

They were young, both of them, dressed in dark robes. Their faces were cold, their eyes filled with disdain. They looked at me like I was something they had scraped off their shoes.

"You shouldn't be here," one of them said. "This is witch territory. You don't belong here."

"I know," I said. My voice was hoarse, barely a whisper. "I'm here to see Elara. She's my aunt."

The witch's lip curled. "We know who you are. A half-breed. An abomination. You're lucky Elara has such a high standing in this coven, or we would have killed you on sight."

"I know," I said again. "Just let me through. Please."

She stared at me for a long moment. I could see the hatred in her eyes, the disgust. She wanted to refuse. She wanted to turn me away.

But Elara's name carried weight.

"Fine," she spat. "But don't think this means you're welcome here. You're not. You never will be."

She stepped aside.

I walked past her.

The coven was just as I remembered it. Small cottages scattered among the trees, their windows glowing with warm, golden light. Witches and wizards moved between them, their robes rustling in the night air.

Some of them ignored me. Others glared at me. A few whispered to each other, their words too low for me to hear but their meaning clear.

I was an outsider. A trespasser. A creature who didn't belong.

I didn't blame them. I had never belonged anywhere. Not with the wolves. Not with the witches. Not in the human world.

I was alone. I had always been alone.

I reached Elara's cottage.

It was small and cozy, tucked between two ancient trees. The windows glowed with warm, golden light. Smoke curled from the chimney. It looked like home. It looked like safety.

I raised my hand to knock.

My fingers trembled. My whole body was trembling. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't control anything anymore.

I knocked.

The door swung open.

Elara stood in the doorway. Her face lined with worry, her eyes filled with concern. She looked at me, and I saw her expression shift—from surprise to shock to something that looked almost like grief.

"Mathias," she said. Her voice was soft, gentle. "You’re here"

I opened my mouth to speak.

The words wouldn't come.

They were stuck in my throat, choking me, suffocating me. I tried to force them out, but they wouldn't come.

And then I crumbled.

My legs gave out. I fell to my knees, then to the floor. The tears came again, hot and relentless, streaming down my face. I couldn't stop them. I couldn't control them.

I was sobbing. Broken. Completely, utterly destroyed.

"I'm sorry," I choked out. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—I never wanted—"

Elara dropped to her knees in front of me. Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in her shoulder and cried.

"Shh," she murmured. "Shh. It's okay. I've got you."

"I lost everything," I sobbed. "I lost everything."