Chapter 47 Chapter 47

Chapter 47 Chapter 47
Beck

Misty went to walk away from me after that comment but I stepped into her path before she started down the hallway. I didn’t know what was going on with me as I placed my hand where the wall of the hall met the one that ran along the living space. Was I angry she had brought Alley up like that? Sure, But what pissed me off the most was that she was fucking right. She looked up at me in surprise and those pouty lips parted. Goddess I wanted to know what they tasted like. I breathed in trying to compose myself as her eyes went from shocked to was it wander, or confusion? She always wore that damn mask that omitted everything going wrong in her life, it was hard to tell exactly what Misty felt when it fell away.

Those eyes studied me and softened. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she tried to backpedal. I shook my head still trying to understand my own stupid realization she had slapped me in the face with. She went to speak again and I shook my head no, placing my other hand against the flat of the wall beside her keeping her there. I didn’t trust myself to touch her as I struggled to find words that made sense.

“You're right,” I said, finally. My shoulders sagging, as I leaned down to look her in the eyes, she tilted her head back to hold my gaze. Her exposed neck made me swallow. I wanted to lick that perfect shade of her pale tawny skin and see if it tasted like sunshine or carmel. I had been pushing thoughts like these away for weeks. Looking at her now, realizing she saw more in me then I even saw in myself had caught me so off guard, all those carefully constructed walls and poor attempts of lying to myself about how I saw her as she ripped me open from the inside with those smart ass words of hers, had me fumbling the lines we had carefully constructed as they now blurred uncontrollably. If I wanted to live, then I wanted more of everything and my denial could no longer stop me. Our noses were almost touching and I could feel the warmth of her breath on my face, hear her heartrate pick up, feel my own hammering in my chest. Her lips were so close to mine. Those hazel orbs staring back at me as the scent of her arousal filled my head. We were snapping at each other one moment and the next it was all I could do not to close the small distance between us.

“I knew I was right,” she said, her voice husky. “Now what are you going to do about it?”

I closed in another millimeter. My mind raced. I liked what we had. Misty had become a friend I didn’t know I needed and she had just called me out on all my shit and nobody did that. I hadn’t answered to another soul since the day I found Alley’s body. Now a woman barely over five feet tall had done it and goddess, I don’t know why my instincts were suddenly so set on this draw to her which I had so purposefully avoided. Why? Because I was far too old for her and she had enough shit to deal with, without adding mine to it. It had been over a decade and I was still hung up on a woman I refused to see clearly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m going to do the right thing because right now I’m obviously not thinking straight,” I said, pushing off the wall and stepping away. She gave me a hard appraising look.

“Humph,” was all Misty had to retort on the matter before she turned and walked away shaking her head. Most women would get in their head and look at the objection as a reason to feel inadequate or self conscious. Not Misty though, she had just called me a coward without saying a damn word and fuck if that didn’t make me admire the damn woman more.

I turned the lights off and sprawled out across the couch. I had done the right thing. I cared about Misty enough that I wasn’t willing to fuck it all up. She deserved better than a hardened man with a clawed up heart and a lost soul. 

A few moments later the scent of her tumbled down the hall filling my head. I groaned quietly but I couldn’t stop myself from listening in. A rustle of sheets, the sharp panting breaths. I closed my eyes. Point taken, Misty. She didn’t need me to get what she wanted and she knew I’d know exactly what she was doing. Her face filtered across my mind as I imagined what it would look like if I was doing it for her. My cock protested but I let my imagination wander. Her eyes hooded, staring back at me as she moaned. My fingers sliding into her as she coated them with her arousal and her body opened for me, expanding to accommodate my exploration. Her breath hitched in the other room and I imagined that sharp intake of breath, playing out across her features. Her body tensing slightly as her jaw slackened. Those soft pants that now filled my ears, drowning out the world as my imagination played the action across the facade of her face that I had created in my mind. This was madness, and yet, I found that Misty had become the thing that tore apart that knight in shining armor that I had forced myself to portray for so long. A lie the reminisce of a heart that had long ago bled out. Had I bedded women since Alley? Yes. The difference was the others were fleeting moments of release. Nameless willing women to ease the ache of loneliness. These last several weeks that ache had dimmed only to be replaced by a new one. If I let myself slip with Misty, I realized I was in too deep to walk away. She and Cricket had etched their way into not just the shards of my remaining heart but also that of my bear. For the first time in a long time I wanted something for myself, wanted to be something other than the brute who chased the bad men away. The thing was—who even was I anymore? If I took everything I've been doing for a decade or more away. What did that leave of the man?

As her pants became broken I depicted her in my mind building as the pressure built within me. She was so fucking close. The imagery of her portrayed in my mind arched her back, causing her head to tilt back exposing that soft tawny throat to me. My mouth watered as I realized this was the most exquisite torture that I could have ever inflicted on myself. I imagined the taste of her skin, an allure of fresh sunshine and sweet hypnotic caramel. My cock throbbed with a need I wouldn’t be fulfilling. Her apex peaked and the illusion I created was exquisite with every raw detail of that release. I let myself be consumed by it holding that image in my mind as Misty’s pants died out and her breathing evened out. I slipped my focus away from her, wondering what the fuck I was doing before a fitful sleep found me.