Chapter 24

*Natalie*

I hear the musical chimes of my alarm pulling me out of sleep, and I begin to drift into consciousness. I reach for my phone, sliding the bar over to silence it and lying back into the bed. I’m dreaming of Cristello’s and *her…* I slide easily back into my dream… Zane, Sophie and I are dancing on the ballroom floor... Sophie is down low in front of me, my dress pushed all the way up at the slit, and she is licking me softly between my pussy lips as I dance… her big brown eyes looking up at me intensely. Some people take notice of us, discretely watching us as I grind into her face… Zane is dancing behind me and sliding his fingers gently up and down over my nipples…

Zane’s alarm goes off, and he begins to stir. He reaches over and swipes his phone and lies back into the bed.

My heart is pounding.

*Oh yeah.*

*We’re not thinking about her anymore.*

I slide in close to Zane, snuggling my face into his smooth chest, his muscular arms folding around me, our naked bodies sliding together like puzzle pieces. I glide my fingers up his toned chest resting my hand on his heart, and he holds me close as I drift lightly back into sleep. I love the feeling of his arms enveloping me, warm in bed under our fluffy down comforter…

My alarm goes off again.

Today we pick up Tali and Damien. And go back to life as usual.

I slide my hand from Zane’s chest and slip out from beside him, sliding out from beneath the comforter and swiping my phone to disable the alarm. I look at the ottoman at the end of the bed, my dress from last night is strewn across it where I discarded it before our shower. I stand and walk over to it and pick up the delicate fabric in my fingers and bring it to my face; I breathe it in… and there she is. Energy zings through my body as I inhale her scent. Memories flash through my mind… how it felt to kiss her, what her face looked like between my legs, the feeling of her silky wet pussy on my face, holding her there while she writhed in pleasure from my tongue and lips… Who is she? This woman who magically dropped into our lives. Is she some guest star, sweeping in and making a cameo in our relationship… or is she meant to be more?

I walk to the closet door, sliding my silky robe from the hook, and slip it over my shoulders as I walk quietly out of the bedroom.

I sweep down the hallway toward our spiral staircase and my mind flashes to Sophie walking down the runway... her movements like an exotic cat… I try to mimic her walk, a mesmerizing flow of motions from the swivel of her hourglass hips to the sweep of her toe and push of her step, shoulders back… My robe flutters as I walk…

I glide down the stairs, sliding my hand along the banister.

I sigh.

I don’t know if life *is* ever going back to usual. I am not the same person anymore. Sophie has changed me. And even though I thought I could just forget about her… I feel like I will *never* forget her. I am emersed in her essense... her smooth, feminine body… how she felt against me, so tiny but so powerful… My body is alive with flutters as I think of her.

And Zane is not the same person I thought *he* was. Do I really even know who he *is?* Are there more secrets he is hiding? What were the women like? How exciting? How beautiful? How *many?* How many *at once?* What did he do with them? What exactly did they *do* at a *sex club?...*

I step down from the last step and walk across the carpeted floor toward the kitchen.

There is so much that has changed in so little time. I feel like… we need to get to know each other again. Or… get to know each other *deeper.*

I step into the kitchen and cross over to the cupboard above the coffee maker. Maybe I need to get to know *myself* deeper… I open the cupboard and slip a filter from the open box, and grab our sealed jar of ground coffee, setting the jar on the counter. Do I have *space* in my life for another relationship? Is our life *big enough* to include Sophie?... And all of her complications… I sigh.

I open the top of the coffee maker and slip the filter in, and then open the top of the glass container, scooping coffee into the filter.

My mind flashes to Alexander pressing Sophie into the wall…

I furrow my brow, taking in a breath.

*Did we see...?* I mean… She said *yes…* but everything about her body was screaming *no…*

I replace the scoop and close the air-tight lid of the jar and then place it back into the cupboard, closing the door.

I slide the coffee pot out and turn on the faucet, sliding the pot under the water. I hear the water filling into the coffee pot, my mind ruminating. *Was* Sophie with Alexander? If she was, why was she with *us?* And why wouldn’t she have mentioned it to us before inviting us into her world?... I turn the water off and turn to the coffee maker, pouring the water into it.

I shake the questions away. It really doesn’t matter. Its too complicated. Its exactly what I don’t need in my life. I have my own life to worry about. I have kids. I have a career. I am a wife. I am a homeowner. I’ve got a lot of balls in the air that I’m juggling.

I slide the glass pot into the coffee maker, close the top, and press the power button, the red light coming on.

I look up and see Zane heading down the stairs. He is wearing just a pair of jeans, carrying a tee shirt. He looks so gorgeous, even all sleepy first thing in the morning.

The kitchen is suddenly alive with the sounds of the coffee pot sputtering and steaming. My mind flashes to the coffee shop where I met Sophie and her model friends, and them talking about how Sophie was Alexander’s *favorite,* but they didn’t say she was his *girlfriend…*

Is it a… *business arrangement?*

*I’m not going to talk about it.*

We look at each other and smile as he walks over to me, and we slide into a hug, my head on his smooth bare chest. I turn my head up, and our lips slide into each other’s for a soft, sweet kiss. We hold each other for a few moments and then I pull back and step up to the counter, opening the cupboard and pulling out a mug.

“You know, I don’t think that she’s with Alexander,” I say.

*What? I wasn’t going to talk about it.*

“…What happened to *‘we could be done.’* And , *‘no more other women?’”* Zane mocks me, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“I know. I know. You’re right. I’m not thinking about her,” I say, swiping my hand to the side and walking to the coffee maker.

Zane reaches into the cupboard and grabs a mug and closes the cupboard door.

“It seems like you’re thinking about her…” Zane says, stepping in close to me.

I smile, trying to stifle it.

He grabs me around my waist and pulls me in, kissing my neck.

“You are so cute…” he says into my ear.

I smile.

“I’m thinking about *everything…”* I say, softly.

“…You want to talk in the car?” Zane asks.

“…Yeah,” I say, relieved. “What time do you want to leave?” I ask.

“As soon as you’re ready,” Zane says.

I nod.

*****

We’d picked the kids up from his parents’ around lunchtime. The six hours in the car on the drive there were a trial by fire.

I’d asked every question, and he gave me every honest, painful answer. And I believe him. There were parts that stung, and parts that I felt jab into me like daggers, as I listened jealously to him talk about his past… the club, the women, the parties… but I listened. I wanted to know. I started to worry... to wonder if I measure up to his wild experiences… to the other women…

After everything was said, I’d looked at him deeply and asked, “Are there any more secrets? …Because…” I shook my head.

“No, no more secrets…” he’d promised, looking over at me. He reached for my hand, squeezing it. “And I like it better this way…” he’d said, “In a way I feel… *relieved* that you know… And that you’re still here.”

“…I *love* you.” I’d said, “*All* of you. And I want to *know* you. I just… I wish you would’ve been honest from the beginning. And… I hope that I’m *enough* for you…”

“Of course you are. You’re the reason I’m not part of that life anymore. You’re so much more than enough… I love you too…” he said.

He looked at me, squeezing my hand in his.

“You want to find a bridge and get married again like on *Natural Born Killers?”* He asked me, a glint in his blue eyes.

I laughed and shook my head. Him and that movie…

When we’d gotten home with the kids, Zane grilled a delicious steak dinner for all of us on the roof, and we’d sat down to eat at dusk. As we sat at the table across from the sauna and ate, I couldn’t help but think about having Sophie and Stas up here… what we did in the sauna playing like a movie through my mind.

The evening passed with homework help for Tali, Damien making obstacle courses with the throw pillows and racing through the house, a family game of hide-and-seek, and finally teeth brushing, stories, and bedtime cuddles and tuck-ins. And the whole time… I can’t get Sophie out of my mind. All day she has been like a lens I am looking at the world through now, coloring everything, changing everything.

I slide in close to Zane as we enjoy a fire in the fire pit on the roof and a glass of wine after the kids are asleep.

I take a sip of my wine, looking at Zane.

“So…” I begin, slowly, “I know I said it could all be a wild dream… but it wasn’t a dream. And I keep thinking about Sophie… *Don’t you?”* I prod.

Zane hesitates.

I go on, not waiting for him to respond.

“…And… you don’t need to apologize for bringing me to Alexander’s… I *like* knowing who you are...” I say.

*“Alexander’s* is *not* who I am...” Zane says, defensively. “Alexander makes choices I would never make…” Zane shakes his head.

I pause.

“I don’t mean that…” I say, “ I just mean… you know… we… like some of the same things… And we can do them… *together…* if I just *know what they are….”* I venture.

Zane smiles a bit, shifting his jaw.

“So…” he begins.

“…So…” I continue, softly. “…I was thinking about Sophie…” I smile, blushing.

At that moment, my phone lights up and a text notification pops up on the screen.

It is Sophie.

My heart leaps.

Zane and I look at each other.

“Well, that lasted all of a day…” Zane teases, a glint in his eye.