♱ Chapter • 149 ♱

♱ •⋅ 1750 B.C. ⋅• ♱ •⋅ Azrael ⋅• ♱

The child began to be able to move gradually, in a way that was still a little time consuming and different from his usual, from the child who ran around and insisted so much to have his little body in that garden.

His speech had returned too, his voice was less guttural, more understandable and a smile that was not painful could be seen, one that was not put on that face just because of the melancholy of Callisto.

"Look! You can move your arms better now" the quartz eyes were flickering as you said that as something equivalent to Loren’s first steps, as if that was some kind of novelty that should be celebrated with various gifts and a party "how is your breathing? Something still burns?" tried to caress that small face as if it was something that would break by any slip on his part.

Loren was now like a valuable piece of porcelain, one that could not risk being damaged after being restored.

"I’m fine, Dad..." the child’s voice was still low when touching his father’s face "see? I can move."

Yes, I was really getting better, and yes now I could move, talk, breathe and everything else but...that was still a lie, one to try to cherish his father’s selfish heart.

That heart that clearly couldn’t handle, that didn’t know what it would do if it lost someone else.

"Let Loren rest, you’re smothering him" I did not avoid talking to see the state of that little being "and take the opportunity to get some air."

An eyebrow was arched as that face was turned in my direction, but honestly that made no difference.

"What was it? I lied at some point?" I continued, thus laying my body on the wall "your face also needs something...ah!" Rest.

He began to seem even more outraged at the boldness I was showing at that moment, but it’s not like he could refute or anything like that.

I was not wrong.

"I’m not leaving here" looked like a wounded animal that protected its cub with its own body, practically growling "my rest can wait."

"If you want it so" I shrugged "but you really are a disaster" I did not avoid saying as I walked towards the door, feeling the anger of Calisto being stuck in my back as if they were long and sharp nails.

But in the end, it didn’t matter, the anger and the way he behaved like a father completely desperate for a spark.

You had to focus on what I was supposed to do, didn’t you? I had to focus on getting my neck off the line, getting myself out of whatever disapproval that square thing could throw at me for whatever reason he decided to take it for granted at the time.

But...really should? That whole plan, that whole execution seemed...

No, it didn’t have to look like anything, I shouldn’t even be questioning something like that right now.

I should go talk to Cali, make all that happen, blame her and kill her as a consequence, that delicate purple-eyed being would be my sacrifice for everything to work out.

Yes, it was just a pawn of sacrifice, or at least...it was what I wanted to believe, I wanted to pretend that sensation in my chest did not exist, that squeezing and weighing were goals illusions of a fertile mind in diverse sensations and thoughts, perverse daydreams that tried to possess my mind and body.

It had to be that, I could have no choice but that, I could have no other explanation.

But then...why was everything so real?

No, it wasn’t real.

"Just go out there and get it over with..." I murmured to myself, leaning my head against that icy wall like my hands at that moment "no use wanting to be like that now, not after all this way."

'Did you wish you had come this far?' an annoying voice did not avoid uttering, one I knew very well.

So well that to silence it, seemed a great option.

Now it didn’t matter whether I wanted it or not, it didn’t matter what my intentions were, why I got to that point where a rope was practically wrapped around my neck like an ornament that would take me from here to another plane, if there would be one beyond some kind of personal hell.

'You can still go back, you can choose another method, another thing' was that voice again. But did I really have? What would be the plan now? Run to Calisto and say the shit that happened up here? How did I do everything under his nose while he trusted me?

It was ridiculous, it was ridiculous in any kingdom, country, universe and I don’t know what else is out there to call or score.

No matter why I did a lot of things, there was no turning back in any sense, there was no choice, at least...not for me.

"I have to go to her, now..." my body was moving, as if I were a kind of corpse being controlled by a necromancer, something that moved alone only because of a desire from others "but do I really need to get her into it?" a whisper that I did not want to have come out by my lips, simply left without permission, without even caring about the will that I carried in my chest "can I give something as mercy now? Can I give that luxury to my conscience?" I continued, a melancholy air filling those words that seemed so heavy, dark.

However, my body kept moving, it was as if my thoughts were trying to convince me of something, contain me; but there was my body, clearly ignoring anything and following, following and following a little more, as if something in it refused to stop, to have to go through something again.

'Before she than I' that move seemed to say, those legs that did not obey me seemed to scream at every step, at every movement not to bump into something.

That was it, my body and mind were not in sync.

I eat anything in me at that moment.

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