Mates. The other half of you, the one that not only completes you but gives you a reason to live, laugh and love. Every being needs a mate to give your life a meaning, to come back home in the warm arms of you love. To wake up in the morning next to your life sleeping peacefully. To look at someone and see the unconditional love in their eyes. To feel that they're worth it.
A tear slipped down my eyes as I looked at the endless darkness of the sky, there are no stars today. Maybe there are but I chose not to see them, I don't want my cursed fate to ruin their brightness. The only thing that I through would make me feel worth has been snatched away from me. I don't blame that girl, or him, I would be nothing but a burden on him anyway. A sob desperately wanted to escape my mouth but I swallowed it, not wanting to show anyone how broken I am.
I look down at my bloody wrist that I cut with my wolf nails, the crimson colour looks so beautiful coming out of my veins. This is how it should be. I should be dead. It's not like I have anything or anyone to loose anymore nor would anyone feel my absence. Maybe death will finally make me rest in peace, maybe death will be my friend. It's true what they say, life is a beautiful lie and death is the bitter truth. I have lived a bitter live, I can have another short at bitter but this time no other thing would make me feel any pain. I'll be long gone in the arms of death. Finally resting in peace.
My wrist stops bleeding as it heals every cut that I made leaving nothing behind as if nothing ever happened in that place. Tears just keep streaming out of my eyes but no sound came out of my mouth, no furrowed brows, no sniffing, no emotions in the eyes. I have done this a billion times, just cry showing no emotions. It's not like anyone will ever understand then why give an effort? It's all a waste, just like me.
The motionless forest and the wind coming from between the trees makes anyone sigh in relief... But not me... Not me.
I wonder when I die will there will be a burial or as mother says that they'll throw me in the bottom of a sea for other animals to feed on me or as father says they'll throw me in a dumpster for vultures and rats to feed on me. They'd always joke about this during the dinner we used to have and everyone.. EVERYONE would laugh.
I look down from the cliff I am sitting, beautiful sharp bed of rocks. If I jump will one be kind enough to pierce my heart? At least they will do what is really expected of them, unlike all the people I know. Not even the elders in my-- Janine's pack are civil to me. They'd push me around and make me do worst things. I remember one day when Justin asked me to get his bag from the gym and when I went to the gym, there were my bullies from and some elders who had sworn to ruin my life. Werewolf elder are not the elders you think. Even when a werewolf is a 170 year old they'd look like in their 30's.
One of the elders had punched me in the face and dragged me to the middle of the ring, they all kicked me untill I was half unconscious then they put me inside a punching bag and started hitting me ruthlessly. I was in the hospital unattended for days even after having fast healing. That's how unwanted I am. It's been like this since forever, I never knew what I did wrong to offend people to such a extend that they'd want me tortured to death. I'll never know.
As soon as I had dropped the alpha couple off to the pack house and taken them to alpha Gilbert, I ran. I ran to my sanctuary, the edge of a very dangerous cliff. When elders used to talk to their grandchildren, they'd always mention how dicey this cliff is and how easy it is to trip and fall into knife like sharp rocks. When I heard about it, I went on a quest to look for it and when I found it after getting lost in the woods for 6 hours, it was worth it. It was beautiful, yes it was very scary but beautiful.
The cliff was so high that there were fogs beneath it, the cold harsh wind really melted my grief. I slowly walked towards the edge and that day I truely had a real smile, it was Breathtaking. The different coloured rocks, so sharp that it could pierce a giants skin in one gash and giants are have skin thicker than steel, at least that what I heard.
But today my sanctuary only increased my grief, I saw how lonely and alone I am. Just like this place, lonely, alone and hated for no reason even through it's the most beautiful place but the only difference is that even after being all of that it stands tell and strong, unmoved by what people think. I am not like that, I get hurt, I feel unspeakable pain. But can I ever express that? No.
The moon shined on my face making me glare at her, "Play with me, as much as you want but I promise there will be a time when you'll be at the mercy of someone. And when the day comes I'll celebrate with joy" I spat at her. Moon goddess, what moon goddess? All she is an taint. She'll never be a mother.
I stood up from the cliff and wipped the tears. After taking few sets of deep breath I walked towards the pack house. I suddenly felt empty, numb almost. It.. felt nice in a way, no pain, no grief just numb. I striped out of my clothes and turned into my grey wolf. I picked up my clothes and sprinted towards my house.
I took out my second hand clothes from the cupboard and put it on a small bag and headed towards the pack house. M parents rarely gave me clothes or money, they said feeding me and giving me a roof over my head was enough of parenting done for me. When I started working at the age of 13, the old human couple for whom I work would give me some clothes that used to belong to their daughter or the lady herself when she was younger as both of them were big girls I didn't have to worry about the jeans not fitting me.
When I reached the pack house, the living room was buzzing with laughter and happiness, I didn't wanna ruin anybody's mood so I put my head down and walked up stairs. Janine had order father and mother to make me move to the pack house when I went to pick the alpha couple as extra hands were needed for arrangement. I didn't had the energy to argue whatsoever so I just moved and anyway I didn't meet anyone of them, they just mind-linked me.
I raced towards my room in the first, where there are spare rooms for omegas even though I am not one. I went inside a random room which had a door message 'empty' written on it. I took the card and went inside, I locked the door and threw bag in one corner of the room and went to take a shower.
When I was in the shower I heard Gilbert's voice in my head, I sighed and opened my link.
"Yes alpha" I said too calmly, there was a second of pause then he spoke, " where the hell have you been? Your sister needs help, you ungreatful bitch" he snapped at me, in other times I would be hurt but not today, I felt nothing.
"Sorry for the inconvenience, I'll be down in a few minutes" I said robotically and cut off my link. I quickly showered and got dressed.
I followed my sister's screeching voice to the alpha office in the 5th floor, I knocked on the door. A grumpy 'come in' came from the other side, I rolled my eyes and went inside to see Janine sobbing comically. Thank God my parents were not here or else this would have been another soap opera. She looked at me and jumped on me, "I never knew I'd say this but I need your help, Nora" she said making me roll my eyes mentally, so what the fuck has she been doing the past.. 17 years?
"What's wrong?" I asked her ignoring the earlier statement. She sniffed in her mates arms, "The decorator has cancelled on me and the wedding is in a week, no one will be able to take up the project" she wailed.
"Don't worry I'll take care of that, I'll go to the town tomorrow and talk to some decorators and if they don't agree then I'll do something" I said trying to calm her down. She looked up at me with teary eyes, "You'd do that.. for me?" She asked in disbelief. I just shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah, why not. Don't worry" I said and headed out of the office.
As I was climbing down stairs slowly I was pulled by my arm in the 4th floor. It happened so fast that I couldn't comprehend anything, one minute I am walking downstairs and the other my mate had pushed me against the wall, kissing me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed myself more into him. I let myself all pour the need for him and his love in that kiss. When he pulled back his eyes were as dark as the night showing that his wolf is in control. He looked at me lovingly, "Where have you been? You were gone for the entire day" he said huskily causing me to shiver.
"Do you really expect me to stay here while you steal kisses from your wife?" I just went straight into the point. I pushed his off me, God what has gotten into me?
He sighed putting his head down, he didn't say anything for a few seconds then he said something that'll always haunt me, "I love her" he looked up to me. I turned my head and bit my lips, his eyes were back to normal, "I know your my mate, my other half and I should have waited for you but I love her. So does my wolf. She was all I had in the tough times, she was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. She was ther--" he kept on declaring his love for the other woman burning my sould with eternal pain. I had to stop him, "I don't wanna hear about your undying love for her.." I snapped at him and created more distance between us.
I looked at him coldly, "Just get it over with" I said trying to act tough. My wolf was howling in misery, begging him not to do it. But it had to be done, I don't wanna feel anymore pain. When I know there is no hope for me here, I don't wanna drag this. He looked at me pleadingly, "Please" he said I looked at him in disbelief.
"Then what the hell do you want? You want to keep both of us by your side? That's not going to happen, I will not be the other woman, I never will be. Even if it's of my mate. Unlike you I have morals" I snapped at him. His eyes darkened and he growled at me, "Watch your mouth wolf" he snarled in his alpha tone but being an alpha's mate, his tone didn't effect me but I put my head down just to calm him down.
After a few intense seconds I looked up with teary eyes, "I have suffered all my life, mate. I had hope but it all went away. I don't wanna hold onto any more false hope when it's only gonna make me end up in this tribulation of loneliness" I begged him. He looked torn, "You're very special, mate but my love for her is too much for me to leave her for you, I am sorry" he said making me flinch and sob.
I took a deep breath and told him to say it. He asked for my name and I told him.
"I, alpha Tyler Schumach reject you, Nora Brukes as my mate and Luna" he said sadly. A sudden pain started from my heart and spreaded all over my body. I bit my lips so hard to stop myself from making any noise that blood came out of it.
I could feel the bond breaking, crumbing into pieces. My entire body was burning, as if I was dropped in boiling hot water. My head was hammering against my skull making it feel like I'd break any moment now and then it all ended, I was suddenly numb, like my soul had been ripped away from my. My wolf laid on the grass unmoving, just slow shallow breathing could be heard.
I was already on my knees sobbing, I looked up to see Tyler leaning against the wall trying to cope up with the same pain. I looked at him emotionlessly as I got up on my feet, "I, Nora Brukes accept your rejection Tyler Schumach" I said blocking out anything coming my way and went down feeling nothing. Not anymore.