Chapter 105 You Are Still Thinking About Her, Aren't You
Cheers kept coming from the distant training ground. Holden supported Candy as they walked back to the tent, their steps heavy with burden.
Candy wanted to explain—that she hadn't lost on purpose, that Anne and Samira had cheated, or that Friedel had set them both up to humiliate them.
But every time she tried to speak, Holden would close his eyes and tell her to go back to her tent. A chill ran through Candy's heart. She couldn't shake the feeling that something important had just slipped away from her forever.
The tent flap lifted. Holden helped Candy to the bedside and poured her a cup of water. With no one around to attend them, there was only cold water in the room, but Candy didn't care. She gulped down a large mouthful, feeling it soothe her hoarse throat and wash away much of the bloody taste in her mouth.
"Holden." Candy struggled to speak. "What's wrong with you? You haven't said a word since the duel ended. Is it because you saw Anne beat me? Do you look down on me now?"
Holden replied flatly, "No."
Candy's eyes immediately reddened. "The way you're acting toward me right now, it's like you wish you had nothing to do with me. You're disgusted by my failure, disgusted that I embarrassed you, right?"
Holden looked at Candy quietly. After a long moment, he reached up to smooth her hair. "No."
"No, you are. I know you are." Candy's tears rolled down like broken beads. "Before, Anne was the flower kept in the manor, and I was the wildflower you met outside. You liked my toughness and wild nature. You thought I was better suited to be with you than Anne. But now you've seen that Anne can leave the manor too, that she can take off those heavy fancy dresses and stand on the battlefield, even by your side."
"You regret marrying me, don't you? Because our positions were never equal to begin with. She comes from a noble family, wealthy beyond measure, with such a skilled father to teach her swordsmanship, and able to hire even better masters to educate her. Only me—I have nothing. No wealth to give your family. Aside from military achievements that are about to be erased, I have nothing."
"Anne must be so pleased. She achieved her purpose in coming to the Eastern battlefield. She outshone me, and now you regret it and want to go back to her, don't you?"
Holden sighed. "Don't overthink it. Apply your medicine and get some rest."
"Then promise me you'll never abandon me for that woman Anne!"
Holden smiled bitterly. "I promise."
With that, he didn't wait for Candy to continue speaking. He turned and quickly walked out of the tent.
Holden couldn't bear to listen to Candy anymore. As he helped her back, his mind kept drifting to Anne—her confident stance on the training ground, the way she'd looked in her gown at their first meeting, how everyone had been mesmerized by her beauty.
Wherever Anne went, she became the center of attention.
Such a beautiful woman was exactly like the wives in the hero stories all boys loved to hear—heroes who gained everything should also win a wife as gorgeous as a rose.
So Holden had thought that if he could marry Anne, he would be no different from those heroes who gained everything.
Then Lady Sophia had hinted he could court Anne, and Anne had felt the same way. It was like a fairy tale come true.
Even though Holden had to leave for the Southern battlefield on their wedding day.
He wore his armor and exchanged rings with his beloved wife. There wasn't even time for a kiss before the southern expedition had to depart.
Unable to do otherwise, Holden could only kiss Anne's hand before turning to leave.
Later, he met Candy on the battlefield. She was a different kind of beauty from Anne—Anne was a hothouse rose, while Candy was a wild grass who would roll into the mud and still grip her sword to run enemies through, then laugh loudly in victory, her eyes shining brilliantly.
When Candy noticed Holden watching her, she showed no shyness. Instead, her lips curved up as she lifted her leg to hook around Holden's ankle.
He took Candy on the battlefield, heard her unrestrained laughter and uninhibited gasps. The beautiful memories of Anne in his mind were gradually erased, replaced by Candy's bold face.
Candy was different—not like noble ladies or pitiful commoners. With her, Holden found wildness and freedom, a brilliant side of womanhood he'd never seen before.
At first, Holden had indeed wanted to make Candy his mistress, because he was equally unwilling to give up Anne. Such a wonderful wife, whom he'd worked so hard to marry, who'd been taking care of household affairs for him back home—how perfect.
But Candy slowly took over his heart, always criticizing other women while making herself look better. In the end, Holden forgot what had attracted him to Anne in the first place. Maybe it was just her beautiful face, or maybe he was just following his mother's instructions to pursue this woman with substantial family wealth to help the Titan family.
But whatever the reason, none of it compared to Candy.
Was that really true? Holden asked himself. If so, then why was it so hard for him to accept when Anne actually wanted to divorce him?
And why, when Anne got in the carriage and left the Titan family that day, as Holden watched the convoy gradually disappear into the distance, did his heart feel so hollow, as if someone had carved out a hole that constantly let the wind blow through?
Too many questions weighed on Holden until he could barely breathe. He remembered how Candy had frantically clutched at his collar earlier—she'd never shown such an expression before, leaving Holden confused.
If what he loved was only Candy's boldness, fearlessness, and frankness, then was Candy, who now had none of those things, still worth loving?
On the other side, Friedel had returned to his tent. Anne sat across from him, asking nothing.
He couldn't help but speak up. "Aren't you going to ask me why I called you here?"
After the duel, everyone returned to their places. Anne was heading back to rest with Cynthia when Friedel stopped her and asked her to come to his tent to talk.
Anne smiled. "If Lord Friedel has something he wants to tell me, he'll naturally say it."
Friedel sighed. "I've decided to let Saslov go."