Chapter 48 - Not Meant To Be Together

After Rowan was able to capture the Prince in a battle that lasted five minutes, he headed back to Inas, where his guild had moved their base of operations. Everything was going smoothly, they had taken over the castle and gotten rid of all the people who made Haespia into the country it was. All of their work and patience had paid off. And yet, Rowan was not the least bit happy about it.

This was something that he wanted since he was a child and could understand the concept of right and wrong. He was dismantling the system that took his childhood from him. That took his parents. For years he would imagine what life would look like after the guild had executed their plan, how much better the country would look, but now that it was coming to fruition, Rowan could not even scrape up a scrap of relief or joy.

Everything just felt like it was something he needed to do. Not want. He felt like he was just a simple everyday task, not like he was changing things for the better. And it was obvious why he felt that way.

In the past, Rowan has had some intense relationships with women that went on for long periods of time. He was always drawn to them because of what they gave him. Pleasure and distraction. It seemed like it was a common thing among commoners to use sex as a way to get some sort of bliss in their lives. It took their minds off the fact that they were miserable and barely getting by. And a lot of times, in return, they were gifted with more children than they knew how to feed.

But recently, he had met a woman- girl really- who made him feel things that he never had before. It started out as a hot irritation and slowly morphed into a hot desire. He wanted to do things with her. Or nothing at all. But he just wanted her to be with him.

And yet, the one person he had managed to develop feelings for, was the one person whose heart he had to break.

It was no secret that Eleanor felt something for Rowan as well. Even if it was just the automatic response to her being close to a man for the first time in her life. But Rowan had seen the way she looked at him. How her eyes pleaded with him to give her something more. It was a request that Rowan would fulfill in a heartbeat if he could. But he knew better. He knew that he should not have wanted her, and he did.

He really had tried to put distance between them when he realized that things were changing between them. But that kiss, that dumb kiss when she came to rescue him was what threw all of his progress into the fire.

A kiss that he replayed in his head way too many times and a kiss that he would repeat at any moment. He wanted Eleanor, but they were doomed from the start, he knew that, and yet he had to go and fall for her.

Eleanor was all that he thought about these days, and when they got back to the coast of Inas, he could not help the way he almost fumbled when he saw Eleanor eating in the mess hall. He could not see her face, but he so desperately wanted to. Had she been crying all day? Was she feeling well after all that she had been through? Has she eaten properly? For the first time in his life, Rowan glared at the food they were serving to the guildmates.

He and Donn had walked away from the room so that Eleanor would not hear what they were talking about, but his gaze lingered.

"We're thinking of getting into contact with the Louis family in one or two days. I'm sure they've figured out all that's happened by now, so it should not take much on our end to have them agreeing to what we want." Donn said to him. "It's been a few days since everything went down so they’ve certainly started to worry since then. I'm surprised they didn't take their precious daughter from the castle and keep her safe in their manor, but that's not a complaint on my end."

Rowan nodded, all they were going to do was use Eleanor to threaten them, nothing too big. She would return safely after they got what they wanted.

"How much longer until we move from here to the castle?"

It made sense that they would use the castle that they took over as their new permanent base of operations. Some shabby village in Inas was not doing it. Especially since they were the ones who had the country in the palm of their hand right now.

"A few days maybe. Having Eleanor protected in the fortress of the now former Tudor castle would make the most sense." Donn hummed. "I guess I should have known that we were not going to get too comfortable here. After we have the meeting tomorrow, then we'll start to move."

The meeting tomorrow was *the* meeting. It would decide how they would move from then on. How the country would be run and what it would look like. It was probably only the only thing Rowan was looking forward to.

The gladiator cleared his throat. "And today... did Eleanor-"

Donn cut him off by laughing. "Look at you. All lovesick and hopeless."

Rowan nearly flinched. His voice was way too loud for Rowan's liking and he looked back at the mess hall for a moment.

"I am not lovesick..." Rowan gritted out. He hated that word. I made him seem weak.

"You say that, but then you act as if your world is ending when Eleanor gets hurt and worry about her when you don't need to anymore."

Rowan bit back a retort. He *never* acted like his world was ending, he was just upset. That's all.

Donn's smile dropped and he looked at Rowan seriously. "Look… I'm not saying that you should not feel things for people, or can't have relationships, but you really picked the worst person to fall for. You know that you can never be with Eleanor right? Even if we were able to fix the class system and bring peace and prosperity to Haespia... there's not a chance in hell that Eleanor is ever taking you back, much less her parents. I get that this is a new situation and that you can't just turn your feelings off. But you need to get a grip on them, or in the end, you'll be the only person hurting."

He had just said everything Rowan was thinking. As usual, dishing out the truth when no one wanted to hear it.

Rowan sighed and let the words sink in. It took the entire night for that to happen. And by the next day, he knew that no matter how many times he thought it up, or how many times he wished it, there was no way that Eleanor would forgive him.

This was Eleanor Louis, someone who was capable of cutting off all her hair to avoid marrying someone. She snuck into a town she knew nothing about because she had had enough of Rowan's nonsense and she had held her ground against Shannon when she was clearly outmuscled.

It was a bitter feeling that settled at the bottom of his heart, but it was a feeling he deserved. Eleanor was not going to forgive him for this. And he was going to have to live with that. He would settle for watching her at a distance. Wondering what their lives would look like if they met under different circumstances.

Would she have fallen for him if he was a noble too? Or maybe even a Prince? As a simple commoner, he was just not meant to be with Eleanor.