Chapter 39 Chapter 39
Noah's POV
I didn’t see her that morning, not anywhere in the apartment, which meant one thing. She was avoiding me deliberately. If it hadn’t affected her, she wouldn’t be adjusting her entire routine just to stay out of my way.
I leaned back against the locker room bench, elbows on my knees, staring at the floor while the noise of the team moved around me with laughter, chatter, and the usual post-practice chaos. All of that didn't matter to me because my focus was somewhere else.... on someone else.
Sean dropped down beside me, tossing his towel over his shoulder. “You look like you’re planning a crime,” he said.
“Maybe I am.”
He snorted. “Does it involve the rehab girl?” I didn’t answer. He let out a low whistle. “Wow,” he muttered. “That bad, huh?”
“It’s not bad.”
“Then what is it?”
I leaned back, resting my head briefly against the locker behind me. “Different.”
Sean raised a brow. “That sounds worse.”
“It’s not worse.”
“It’s definitely worse.”
I smiled. “Shut up,” I said.
He grinned. “You kissed her, didn’t you?” I didn’t react to that, I didn't even confirm it. Sean leaned back, dragging a hand down his face. “Man,” he muttered. “You’re screwed.”
“Yeah.” That slipped out before I could stop it.
He turned his head slightly, studying me. “Wait,” he said slowly. “You’re not even denying it?”
“No.”
“That’s new.”
“I’m not pretending anymore.”
He let out a short laugh. “Oh, this is bad.”
“It’s not bad.”
“You just admitted feelings.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” I stood up, grabbing my bag, because sitting there wasn’t doing anything and talking about it wasn’t helping. I already knew what I was going to do. “Where are you going?” Sean asked.
“Training center.”
“You just finished practice.”
“I know.”
He shook his head. “Yeah,” he said. “You’re gone.”
I didn’t respond, because maybe I was and I didn't care.
The training center was quieter. Most athletes are either in class or recovering. I pushed the door open and stepped inside, scanning the space automatically. There was no Emily. I walked further inside, checking the rehab area. It was empty.
I exhaled slowly, my jaw tightening slightly. She was good at avoiding me without making it obvious. I leaned against one of the tables, my arms crossed, thinking. Where would she go?
Library.
Cafe.
Anywhere structured.
Anywhere predictable.
Anywhere she could hide behind routine.
I pushed off the table, turned around, and walked out. The campus cafe was half full when I got there. Students scattered across tables, laptops open, and they were having conversations. But then there, near the window, was Emily. She was sitting alone with a cup of coffee in front of her and a notebook open, but she wasn't writing or reading anything. She wasn’t doing anything except staring at the page like she was trying to force herself to focus.
I stood there for a second just watching her. Even from where I stood in the distance, I could see the tension and distraction. Her fingers tapped lightly against the table in an uneven rhythm. She wasn’t calm, but she was trying and failing.
Good.
I walked over without any hesitation, I didn't even second-guess it. “Busy?” I asked when I came to a stop by her table.
Her head snapped up. Her eyes locked onto mine immediately. She couldn't hide anymore “Yes,” she said flatly
I nodded before I sat down anyway. “You don’t look busy.”
“I am.”
“You’re staring at the same page you’ve been staring at for five minutes.”
Her jaw tightened. “You’ve been watching me?”
“I just got here.”
“Then don’t make assumptions.”
“I’m not.”
She closed her notebook. “I’m working,” she said again.
“You’re avoiding me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You changed your entire schedule today.”
“That’s not true.”
“You left early this morning.”
“So did you.”
“You skipped breakfast.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You took the long route to campus.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “How would you know that?”
“I know your routine.”
I could tell that she didn’t like that. “I’m busy,” she said again.
“You can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”
Her expression hardened. “Watch me.”
I smirked slightly. I just couldn’t help it, my eyes probably didn't match it because this wasn't a joke... I wasn't joking. “You’re not very good at it,” I said.
“I don’t need to be good at it.”
“You already failed.”
“I didn’t fail anything.”
“You kissed me back.”
Her breath caught. “You’re not letting that go, are you?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it matters.”
“It doesn’t.”
“It does.”
She exhaled sharply, pushing her chair back slightly. “You’re being impossible.”
“I’m being honest.”
“You’re being intrusive.”
“I’m being direct.”
“You’re-”
“You felt it.” That stopped her completely, because there was no arguing that. “You felt it,” I repeated.
Her eyes dropped for a second and then came back up stronger. “It doesn’t change anything,” she said.
“It changes everything.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Noah.”
“Emily.” Her name sat heavier this time, because I wasn’t playing.
“You don’t get to decide that,” she said.
“I’m not deciding,” I said. “I’m acknowledging.”
“There’s nothing to acknowledge.”
“There is.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Yes.”
"No," Her voice sharpened again, frustration breaking through. “Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Acting like this means something.”
“It does.”
“It doesn’t.”
“It does.”
She stood abruptly. The chair was scraping lightly against the floor. “I’m not doing this,” she said.
I stood up too. “You already are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m leaving.”
“You can leave, but that doesn’t change anything.”
“Yes, it does.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes, it does.”
“It doesn’t.” We stood there, close enough that it felt like we were. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be,” she said.
“I’m making it clear.”
“I don’t want clear.”
“That’s not my problem.”
Her eyes flashed. “It is your problem.”
“Why?”
“Because this isn’t real.”
“I know.”
“Then stop acting like it is.”
“I’m not acting.”
“Then what are you doing?”
I stepped closer. “Choosing not to ignore it.” Her breath shifted. She didn’t move, which meant that she wasn't done either. “Emily.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“This.” She gestured between us. “This.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You are.”
“You’re the one reacting.”
“I’m reacting because you won’t stop.”
“I’m not going to.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because you matter,” I said.
Her expression shifted again. The fight dropped. The resistance softened. The wall cracked and then it snapped back into place. “This isn’t happening,” she said.
“It already did.”
“It won’t happen again.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Her jaw tightened. I stepped back, because pushing further right now wouldn’t get me anywhere. She wasn’t ready. She was still trying to hold onto something that didn’t exist anymore. And I wasn’t.
“Fine,” I said.
Her eyes flickered suspiciously. “What?”
“Run,” I said. “Avoid me. Pretend it didn’t happen.”
“I’m not-”
“You are.”
She exhaled sharply with frustration. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I’m done pretending.”
I turned around and walked away. I didn’t have to look to know Lucas was watching. But I did anyway. He stood across the courtyard, leaning against a railing, arms crossed, expression unreadable just observing it all. He saw it. He saw the tension, the way Emily and I looked at each other.
He pushed off the railing and walked over. “That seemed intense,” he said.
“It was a conversation.”
“That’s one way to describe it.”
I didn’t respond. He just studied me. “You’ve changed your approach.”
“I stopped pretending.”
He nodded. “That’s… risky.”
“So is doing nothing.”
His eyes flicked briefly in the direction Emily walked and then back to me. “She’s not ready for that.”
“I know.”
“Then why push?”
“Because I’m not waiting for her to pretend it didn’t happen.”
He considered that. “Be careful.”
“I’m not fragile.”
“I’m not talking about you.” He was right, this wasn’t just about me anymore.
“I know what I’m doing,” I said.
Lucas tilted his head slightly. “Do you?”
I held his gaze, “Yeah,” I said.
He nodded before stepping back. “Then don’t mess it up.”
This wasn’t something I was going to mess up this time.
I found myself alone again a few minutes later, standing in the middle of campus with nothing but my own thoughts and everything that had just happened. I knew what I wanted and that Emily. I exhaled slowly, a small, almost imperceptible shift settling into something solid inside me. I was moving forward. And as I pushed off from where I stood, one thought stayed with me, I was done waiting.