Chapter 37 Chapter 37
Noah's POV
For a second, nothing moved, neither did the air around us. It felt like the entire room had stalled, like everything needed a moment to catch up to what just happened. Her lips were still slightly parted. Her breathing was uneven. I didn’t step back. I didn't apologize for what I just did. I just stood there, watching her, taking it all in. I knew immediately that there was no undoing this. This meant something... it meant everything.
Her hand was still near my arm, like she hadn’t fully decided whether to pull away or not like part of her hadn’t caught up either, maybe part of her didn't want to. My pulse was still fast, adrenaline hitting harder than anything I had felt in a long time, it wasn't from a game, or fight, it wasn't from anything physical either. This was entirely different. This was not something that we had agreed to. Denying all this now would just be stupid.
Emily pulled back first like the moment caught up to her all at once. Her breath came out uneven, her chest was rising and falling faster than it should have. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she said. Her voice wasn’t steady. It wasn't like it usually sounded, and that told me everything.
I tilted my head slightly, studying her. “You didn’t stop it.”
Her gaze flickered for a second. “That doesn’t mean anything,” she said quickly.
“It means something.”
“It doesn’t.”
“It does.”
She shook her head, stepping back another inch, like distance might fix it. “It can’t,” she said.
I didn’t move or close the space this time. I wanted to see what she would do or say. I wanted to see how far she would go to convince herself that this wasn’t what it clearly was. “This can’t happen again,” she said. That was the line... the boundary we have crossed. She was attempting to pull everything back into something manageable.
I watched her for a long second. “You don’t mean that.”
Her breath caught again. She didn't argue or push back. She just stood there, looking at me like she was trying to find the words but couldn’t. The silence was louder than anything she could’ve said.
I felt certainty settle in my chest. I knew wanted felt this and she wanted it too. This wasn't one-sided. “You’re not walking away because you don’t feel anything,” I said.
Her jaw tightened. “I am walking away.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You don’t get to tell me why I’m doing anything.”
“I don’t have to,” I said. “You already showed me.”
Her eyes flashed with frustration. “You’re making assumptions,” she said.
“I’m paying attention.”
“I told you this isn’t real.”
“And I told you I didn’t say it was.”
“Then stop acting like it is.”
“I’m not acting.”
“Then what are you doing?”
I held her gaze, I didn't look away. “Not pretending,” I said. Her expression shifted slightly, her shoulders were tensed and her breathing didn’t quite steady.
“This is part of the arrangement,” she said, like she was reaching for something familiar. Something that she could hold onto.
“That’s not what that was.”
Her lips parted slightly like she was about to argue, but she didn't. She knew this wasn't PR anymore, the truth hung in the air and it was uncomfortable for her.
“This complicates things,” she said.
“It already was complicated.”
“This makes it worse.”
“Or clearer.”
“It doesn’t clarify anything.”
“It clarifies everything.”
She shook her head again, like she could physically reject that. “No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Her voice sharpened. “You don’t get to decide that.”
“I’m not deciding anything,” I said. “I’m acknowledging it.”
“There’s nothing to acknowledge.”
I nearly laughed. This was ridiculous. “Emily.”
“What?”
“You kissed me back.”
Her breath caught. That reaction she couldn’t hide no matter how hard she tried. “I didn’t-”
“You did.”
“I-”
“You did.”
She stopped, she couldn't argue with that because it happened. There was no way to pretend otherwise.
“This can’t happen again,” she said again, more like she was trying to convince herself.
I watched her. “You don’t mean that,” I repeated.
She just stood there, without denying it or saying anything back. That was everything, she stepped back again creating more distance between us this time. “I need to-” she started, but stopped saying anything further. There wasn’t a way to make this simple again. “I need space,” she said finally.
I nodded once. “Okay.” She stood there, unsure like she expected me to argue. She was still trying to process something I had already accepted. So I stepped back, giving her that space. And she noticed. Her expression shifted to confusion.
“Okay?” she repeated.
“Yeah.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
She studied me like she was trying to figure out what changed. Why I wasn’t pushing. Why I wasn’t making it harder. but I already got what I needed. I didn't mean the kiss or the moment between us, I meant the answer.
She turned around slowly, like she was giving me time to stop her, butI didn’t. She walkeds toward the hallway. And I watched her go. I didn't look away from her, I was rooted in my spot. I was taking in the moment and that kiss. She mattered and everything mattered too.
She reached her door and paused for a second before she went inside of her bedroom. The door closed softly behind her. I wanted to be with her, there in her room, not for any s^xual tendencies but for company or to get to know her more. If this was any other girl, it would've been a whole different story already.
The apartment went quiet again, the tension was still heavy in the air around us. I exhaled slowly and ran a hand through my hair, the adrenaline was still sitting just under my skin. There was no going back to before.
I looked down the hallway one more time to her closed door like the last time. There was that pull but I didn't make the move knock. I needed to give her this space, to process what just happened.
I leaned back against the wall, staring at nothing for a moment as one thought settled in clearly. If she took this step with me in being serious, we won't have to pretend in a fake relationship anymore, because this is real now.