Chapter 38

“It was after she came into tarian’s camp, she was injured and i had to tend to her wounds.” The medical man said slowly, remembering how they met with ease; she had been so stubborn and sure of herself. “though she got injured more than once at his hands.”

“what did he do to her?” The girl’s mother asked, worry littering her features. “i have seen her hands, what else did he do?”

Panett tilted his head to the side, knowing that tuviel couldn’t get the information from her daughter; that is the only reason she would come to him and he was willing to answer. “he did not take her modesty if that is what you are asking, but he did order that the points of her ears were removed.”

“that is enough.” Astria bellowed, interrupting them as she stepped forward. “if you want to know what happened mother, you can ask me.”

“you have given me no answers, i am your mother, i should know what you went through so i can help you heal.” Her mother protested, carefully folding one of the blankets and placing it onto the hard ground; putting a rock over it so it would not blow away.

The half-breed nodded, pretending that she understood, though in reality she did not care what her mother thought; not after all the lies and secret keeping. “i am healing just fine. I do not need your help.”

Yes, astria loved her mother dearly, but after all that they had been through; she wasn’t sure that she could trust her, not fully. Tuviel liked to keep secrets, only telling her daughter half of the truth and keeping the rest to herself. That just wasn’t acceptable anymore, they must be honest with each other if they are to survive, even if that made them hurt. It was a necessity; they couldn’t afford to go into this war with only half of the information. Yet, both of them were stubborn and it would take more for them to trust one another again, they needed time to heal on their own, away from one another.

“please astria, i want to help you.” Pleaded her mother, her eyes filling with tears, she felt as though she was losing her daughter, that their bond was drifting apart.

Panett took a step back, turning towards the forest as he believed dane could use a hand; that and he wanted to be far away from the argument between mother and daughter.

Astria growled viciously, not wishing to accept her mother’s help. “i am a grown woman; i can handle this on my own.”

“you know nothing of the world, you have barely scratched the surface of what people can be like!” Tuviel snappe harshly, losing her temper.

“that is because you hid me from the world!”

“to protect you!”

“do i look protected to you?!” The half-breed screamed at the top of her voice, showing her mother her ears; or what was left of them.

Tears welled up in her mother’s eyes at the sight of the damage tarian had done; her voice low and regretful. “i only ever wanted to keep you safe and i have failed, i am so sorry my deaR child.”

Astria sighed, knowing that she had gone too far, she didn’t want to hurt her mother, not like she had; she just wanted her to understand what it felt like to be her. How hard all this had been for her. She hadn’t mean to snap and shout, though sometimes it was the only way her mother would listen to her; the only way she understood. The girl rushed forward, grasping her mother and embracing her in a tight hug, knowing that she needed to apologise, that she had done wrong. Now wasn’t the time to be prideful, it was time for a change, they all needed to be honest and kind to one another. They needed to show that theY cared.       

“mother i am sorry; i didn’t mean what i said. Please forgive me?” Astria whispered into her ear, tightly holding the hug.

Tuviel wrapped her hands around her daughter, “it is alright my child, i understand this must be difficult for you. I only wish that i could have protected you better.”

“you did all you could for me, i couldn’t ask for more. You have sacrificed everything for me and i cannot thank

you enough for that.” The girl sobbed as quietly as she could, something which she had needed; she had to let her emotions out before they ate her from the inside out.

It was hard for the half-breed to show her emotion, to cry; but she knew she must, it was what made her who she was. It was what differentiated her and the deus, she understood feelings when they couldn’t care; when they were trained not to. But tuviel was different and astria could see that now, she knew her mother loved her and would do all she could for her; just as she always had. Their world had been torn apart, this was true; yet as long as they remained by each other's side, they had a chance of surviving, of finding her father.

She hoped that miek would accept her, that he would be a father to her, but she wouldn’t give up her mother for that, not even if it cost her the life that plagued her. Everything she had done was wrong, she had killed people; but they had also tried to kill her and they would have succeeded if she hadn't have fought back. Surely, the gods would understand that, perhaps even pardon her. She had been through so much, and so had her mother, wasn’t it time for them to feel happiness? Hadn't the sacrificed enough?

Panett and dane returned as the half-breed and her mother moved to sit on the ground, all of them looking forward to getting some much-deserved rest, some sleep. Smiling at those around her, the girl pulled out a few rabbits they had caught form her pack, placing them onto sticks so that she could cook them on the fire that the barbarian was making.

“i cannot wait to eat one of them.”

Panett smiled, his stomach rumbling as he sniffed the air, they were cooking quickly in the flames. “it’s hard to believe that it had been three days since i had a warm meal.”

“since we ate anything you mean.”

Laughed dane as he got comfortable on the ground, they had built the fire as close to the trees as they could to supply cover should they need to escape. “i am surprised you have lasted this long, medical man.”

“i am stronger than i look, i have survived worse.” Panett smirked in return, knowing that the barbarian was trying to intimidate him again, though this time; with humour.

“that is enough, i would rather eat in silence than listen to you two.” Tuviel scowled, checking the rabbits as her daughter yawned, easily distracted. The barbarian scowled back at her, unable to contain his anger as he was over tired. “you should be more welcoming, if it weren't for us, you and the girl would not have made it this far.”